Cullen's girl
by Elmo13
Summary: I shivered from the longing while she shivered from the cold. It was intoxicating. Her hair smelled like raspberries. This was wrong, she was my best friend. AH Canon
1. Introductions Bella

**Disclaimer : Not mine.**

**So this is based on one of the original work I posted in French but since I read Twilight, I see Bella and Edward as my main characters so I decided to turn it into a fanfiction. I will update regularly if I see that people are reading it so tell me what you think.**** There will be three introduction chapters in the three main character's points of view, only one POV by chapter. Enjoy.**

Bella

It was a day like any other day. Time has the tendency to fly by without anyone noticing. I was quietly singing to myself while I made coffee. My roommate and best friend, Rosalie Hale, wasn't up yet. Her oversleeping habit made her constantly late. It gives me time to get ready; I actually like that about her. I looked at the clock. 7:35. It was definitely time to wake the beast, so I knocked on her door. No answer, classic. I opened the door and smiled when I saw that she was buried under her pillows.

"Hey sleepyhead, what's up?" I asked her in a teasing tone.

"Go away," she mumbled from under the pile of feathers.

"Here's your coffee." I put a cup of coffee on her nightstand and got out. Rose is also a coffee-addict, so I knew her well enough to be sure that it would do the trick. Five minutes later she was coming out of her room.

"I don't want to go, Bella, please let me hang myself instead."

She pleaded while making her way into the bathroom to fix her hair. Rose isn't really a morning person; she prefers to stay in bed dreaming about her car. She is all about cars and boys. Unfortunately, the boys that caught her eyes all turn out to be freaks.

Did I mention that she is the most beautiful girl in all of Fork's history? She is a tall blonde with piercing blue eyes and a body I would kill for. Well, the worst thing is that she doesn't want to acknowledge the fact, saying that if I gussied up a little, I would be twice as pretty. What a lie! I'm the typical girl's next door girl. I have brown hair and brown eyes, average height and weight. Nothing special.

I joined her in front of our wide bathroom mirror and put my hair up in the usual ponytail.

"Well at least YOU won't have to avoid Mike all day, so that he doesn't invite you years in advance to the graduation party," I grumbled.

"I can't believe he still tries." She started to giggle. "Maybe you should say yes."

"Thanks for your support," I said, sarcasm tangible in my voice.

"I won't help if guys start to fight over you next time we go out."

Her eyes went wide. "Common, Bells, you wouldn't be so mean with me."

I smirked at her. "Maybe I would."

We stared at each other menacingly for about two seconds before bursting in laughter.

"So, what are you up to today?" Rose asked.

Today was a Wednesday, so I was meeting Edward for breakfast in the cafeteria before our literature class, followed by a French class, alone, and then lunch with Rose.

"The usual."

"Okay, 12:30, our place," she said, getting out of the bathroom and grabbing her keys.

"Wish me luck."

"Why?"

"Bella, I told you yesterday; I have the morning off to show the exchange student around," She said as she opened the door to leave.

"Right, good luck, Rose, I hope he's not a total nerd."

"So do I."

I heard the door close and quickly brushed my teeth. I decided to wear my favourite shirt. Rosalie had bought it for me as a joke. It read "Little Miss Clumsy" across the chest. But I loved it; it was so me. I'm a hazard to everyone around me and myself, constantly dropping heavy stuff or simply falling head first in the stairs. I'm trying to overcome it. But even if I do avoid a lot of fall nowadays, weird incidents always endanger me. Edward says that it's because I'm always daydreaming; maybe he's right.

I needed to leave soon, otherwise I'd be late. Happily, Rose and I live near campus. We are both sophomores at Fork's University. I'm majoring in literature with a minor in French. Every Wednesday morning I eat breakfast with my lifelong best friend Edward Cullen, the very one who accuses me of always daydreaming.

Edward and I have been through everything together. I remember us crying together the day his father passed away; we were only thirteen then. He was the only one there for me when my parents got divorced. I think I spent a whole week at his house, completely unchaperoned. My mom thought Carlisle, his legal guardian at the time, was home. Carlisle is Edward's older brother. He was nineteen when their father died.

Edward's parents had been divorced for two years. His mother was living in London with her new husband, so when Edward senior died, Carlisle convinced his mother to let them stay together at their father's house. Their mom felt so guilty that she agreed, taking only Edward's little sister Alice with her. Alice was only ten, the poor thing. Basically Edward's father died from exhaustion after working two years round-the-clock at the local hospital. He worked so much so that he could forget that his wife had run away with a British actor and left him home alone with his three children. Edward visited his mother and sister for a week when he was sixteen, but he resented his mother so much for leaving his father that he never agreed to go back.

I love Edward as a friend, but we do spend a lot of time together. That makes people talk, but I don't care what people think; he is the best friend a girl could ask for. Well, not a punctual friend. I was now sitting in the back of the cafeteria, and he was nowhere to be seen. Fortunately, I'd anticipated he would be late like always so I'd brought my book. I took my copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ out of my bag. It was my favourite book; I loved the evolving romance between Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy; how their feelings grew from nothing to engulfing everything else in their lives. I'm a hopeless romantic and I can't help myself from hoping that my own Mr. Darcy is just waiting somewhere out there for me.


	2. Introductions Rosalie

**Ok now Rosalie POV. Read and review **

Rosalie

Rosalie

Hey, I'm Rosalie. Rosalie Hale, but you may know me as the tall blonde who hangs out in a garage as much as in the mall. I love cars. I'm studying to be a mechanical engineer but what I really want to concentrate on is designing cars. I'm also a model on the side because it pays well and it's quite easy. My mother can't accept that modeling is only a way for me to earn money for my classes, so she kind of cut me off.

She's loaded, but she doesn't like my idea of a perfect career. Of course, she also doesn't want her only daughter to be less-than-fashionable, so she pays for all the designer clothes a girl could dream of. I like clothes, but I love cars more. My brother Jasper is also a model, but he's graduating this year. He's beginning is Ph.D. next year and he's going to be teaching undergraduate courses here at the university. That will be so much fun to witness because he knows half the students as friends. He's supposed start in the psychology department right after graduation. He's four years older than me, and is double majoring in psychology and history.

I'm currently in my sophomore year. I live right next to the engineering building with my best friend Bella Swan.

When I decided to Fork's University in order to escape my mother's wrath, I thought I'd never fit in. I originally planned on living alone since I assumed the dorms would be tiny and narrow, and nowhere large enough to fit myself, a roommate, and my enormous wardrobe, but since Fork's University is so small, the students are housed in apartments rather than dormitories. I was paired up with an English major, which I was really nervous about, but I couldn't have found a better roommate and friend.

Bella is a stunning brunette who is completely oblivious to most of the things going on around her. She's not that shy, but she's often so lost in her imagination that she seems to avoid social gatherings. If and when she really wants to be, she can be a real party girl. When I declare that it is girl's night out, she lets me dress her up and we form a pretty nice duo. A lot of guys say I'm beautiful, and since I'm a model, I have confidence in my appearance, but not her. Even though Bella can be just as pretty, she hates her appearance; she always complains about her pale skin and her unruly hair.

Neither of us have boyfriends. It's not as if we don't try to find proper boy meat, but it's so rare that we find anyone worth the trouble, that neither of us has had the luxury of settling down. I personally seem to attract trouble. Single boy are either too shallow, too nerdy or perpetual bachelors like Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen is Bella's best friend. He is really sweet. I didn't always think so, but I've grown to love his ways. The day I met him, I was totally dazzled by his charm and beauty. I mean the guy is HOT. He's got the body of a Greek god. The sight of his bare chest is simply mouth watering. And his eyes, oh my God, they are this piercing other-worldly green that goes right to your head commanding you to fall for him. Yes, I admit I had the biggest crush on him for about three days. But I soon understood that Edward wasn't the kind of guy to settle for just one girl, and I'm not the kind of girl to share my man.

So instead, I decided I hated his guts. I took him for what he seemed to be: a heartless player. Bella's pleas to give him a chance finally got to me when I saw how respectful and protective he could be and when he stepped up for me when my own butt was on the line. When some bastard had tried to force himself onto me, I'd punched him, seriously damaging my knuckles, but then Edward had stepped in and reduced the man to a bloody mess lying on the floor, making me realise he would never do that.

"Okay pretty boy, you aren't that bad after all," I admitted, hugging him as a tear ran down my face, my emotions getting to me.

"Well, Rosie, you are the most badass damsel in distress I ever helped." He smirked and I slapped him playfully.

Bella was so thrilled we finally got along and the tree of us have been best friends ever since.

I realized he isn't luring innocent victims into sleeping with him. The girls just throw themselves at him shamelessly, over and over again. Eventually he gives into their attempts to get him and he invites them out to dinner, all the while being clear that he doesn't want a serious relationship; that he is just looking to have fun. Amazingly a lot of girls out there were more than willing to play by his rules.

Even if they know the rules, it doesn't stop some of them from making a scene or occasionally harassing Bella.

Their relationship doesn't make sense to most people. Some think they are together and everyone thinks they at least have something on the side. Even I was sceptical but it's the truth; they are amazingly just friends. Bella thinks that she is immune to his charm, which she is, most of the time. Most of the time, she is the sole woman alive who can tell exactly when he's deliberately trying to charm her into doing something she'd rather not. When he does, she glares at him enough to defeat him. But, in the end, she can't deny him anything he really wants. It is out of love though, rather than due to his dazzling tricks.

Most of the girls around here want to win Edward Cullen over, so to them, Bella is another obstacle. Basically, they hate her. Some girls even give her murderous glance every time they cross paths, but as I said, Bella is so caught up in her own thoughts, she barely notices it.

The other girls are not only jealous of Bella's relationship with Edward, but also her natural beauty. She is beautiful in a less obvious and calculated way than they are. Bella's beauty is... effortless. She doesn't put make up on every morning, she doesn't spend hours fixing her hair, and she doesn't like to go shopping, but she always looks luminous.

Enough about them, I've got to concentrate on the task at hand: showing a probably obnoxious "exchange student" around. He's from San Francisco, so it's not like he's switching countries or anything, but the head of the mechanical engineering department insists that he'd be called an exchange student. I think their actual plan is to lure him into staying because I heard he's a genius at designing and rich. I know that I wasn't asked to do this because of my brains, but it gives me extra credits, so why not? So, Emmett McCarty, what do you look like?

I screened the cafeteria where we had agreed to meet, looking for a boy who appeared lost, but I got distracted and accidentally ran into a huge man.

"I'm so sorry," I said looking at him. WOW, he was gorgeous. He had short brown hair and the most astonishing baby-blue eyes. He looked at me from head to toe with an awestruck look on his face. I grinned at him while he regained his composure, and he smiled back.

"Man, they told me you were attractive, and I mean no disrespect, but they were wrong; you are stunningly beautiful."

I was caught off guard by his honest comment and blushed a little. *What the hell, Rose, get a grip.*

"I'm Emmett, by the way," He said, holding out his hand. I put the pieces together and got what he meant by "they told me." He was the guy that was waiting for me. He was the exchange student.


	3. Introductions Edward

**Okay now Edward, please review if you think it's worth pursuing and give me your ideas. I know what's going to happen in general but I love having suggestions. And if you add it to your alert list or favourite please give me a review.**

Edward

"I can't believe I let myself fall for you again," Jessica yelled at me. "I hate you!"

I gathered all my patience and explained it to her yet again.

"Jess, I told you it would just be for a couple of weeks." I sighed. I was a fool. When she'd told me she understood exactly what I wanted and that she was also just looking for a fling, I believed her. She thought she could make me fall for her. I listened as she rambled a little more about how I was making the biggest mistake of my life and left, relieved that it was over. I am not the kind of guy to fall in love, it is as simple as that. I tell all the girls I ask out that I'm not looking for a serious relationship. Most girls appreciate that I'm honest with them and some are looking for the same thing as I am. I am only 20 after all; I have plenty of time to have fun before I need to settle down.

It's already 8:15. Damn, I'm late; Bella will kill me. I ran towards the cafeteria looking for my best friend, Bella Swan. It was our Wednesday morning ritual to meet up early in the cafeteria to talk about the highlights of the week before the only class we had in common. I'm actually taking this class as a complementary course, because I am majoring in music, but I still wanted to have at least one class with my best friend. Bella and I have known each other since birth. Our mothers met at party when I was just born and Bella was three month old. We've been inseparable since then. Bella and I are friends with a capital F, no backstabbing, no benefits; we are the living proof that a girl and a boy can be friends without messing it up over the years. All the girls I go out with feel threatened by her, but it doesn't bother me since I actually use it to my advantage.

All the boys she dates are afraid of me, everyone around campus has the habit of calling her "Cullen's girl," so Bells is doomed to be single until college is over. Well, if there was a boy that was really interested in her and not her mind-blowing beauty, I would admit to him that she wasn't my girl at all, but so far she has only dated jerks, pigs and other jerks. Ah, there she is, reading in the back. She was so into her book that I managed to get behind her and lean in so I could talk directly into her ear.

"Good morning, beautiful."

She jumped out of her seat and turned to face me with an annoyed, but friendly glare. "Edward, will you stop doing that; you're going to kill me."

I smirked, taking a seat across from her. "I'm sorry, it's just too damn fun." I reached for her book, stealing it away. "_Pride and Prejudice_" again Bells? Are you going to accept that Mr. Darcy is not waiting around the corner for you? He's got to be dead by now."

She stole it back and hit me with it. "You're just jealous that I have spent more time with him than you lately," She teased.

"Well you're right about us not spending enough time together. What are you doing Friday night?"

She looked interested. "Aren't you going out with Jessica?" she asked.

"Nope, we're done." Bella let out a sigh of relief.

"Finally, she was so mean towards me, like I was in her way or something."

"Wow, you noticed that? She must've been really annoying if YOU saw it."

Her eyes narrowed. "What are you implying Cullen?"

I avoided her gaze. "Nothing Swan, nothing." From the corner of my eyes I noticed Jessica entering the cafeteria. "Shit, not her again! I just got rid of her. Give me your book so that she doesn't see me."

A smart-ass smile spread slowly across Bella's lips. "Now you want my book." She held it away from me.

"Cut it out Bells, I really need to avoid her right now."

She seemed to balance the pros and cons before giving the book back to me. "All right, but I get the card."

I hid my face behind her book and tried to prevent her from stealing my wallet. "This hardly counts as a huge favor; in fact it's merely a favour at all. I stood in the rain for five hours to get it last time. In no way does this measure up to that."

She ignored me and got my wallet out, taking a little glittery blue and pink plastic card out of it. She held it out with a look of victory. This was the BFFF card, or if you prefer, the "best friend forever favor card." Bella had fashioned it in fourth grade with her coloring pallet and glitter glue. Her dad had covered it plastic, so it had survived the years of abuse it had suffered. The rule about this card is this: whenever one of us needs a favor, we hand over the card and the other one can't say no to the favor. The last time she'd used it was to buy the new _Harry Potter_ book. She wanted to be the first to have it, so I waited outside the book store with her for five hours. It was raining and I almost froze to death.

"Ok, you're out of the woods, the Jess-monster left the premises, with Lauren I might add," Bella said, as she put the card into her purse. My pleas for justice had been vain.

I put the book back on the table. Lauren was also one of my exes so to speak, so I had avoided a very awkward confrontation.

"Where's Rosie? I thought she had the morning off." I asked.

"You know she hates when you call her that." Bella scowled. "She's showing a new guy around, Emmett something-or-other."

I gave her a look of disbelief. "**Our** Rosie is showing around Emmett McCarty, the guy from San Francisco?"

She looked at me like I was insane. "Why do you know him?"

I spotted an abandoned newspaper a few tables away. I brought it back on our table and showed Bella the front page. The line read "Heir of McCarty Enterprises Visiting Fork's Engineering Faculty."

Bella eyes widened. "Oh my God."

"Bells, this is as close as it gets from Rosalie's dream guy; she is going to fall for him."

Bella was now looking somber. Every time Rose fell for a guy, it was bad news. She seemed to be the most unlucky woman alive. All the guys she dated seemed amazing at first, but turned out to be cheaters, stealers and/or prisoners, either on parole and escaped. "Maybe it will be different this time," Bells tentatively stated.

"Maybe." I answered skeptically.


	4. Chemistry Rosalie

**Ok so first chapter, Rosalie. I recommend the song "Any given day" from Laura Webb for this chapter it inspired me. **

**Rosalie**

_**Attirances**_

"_I'm Emmett, by the way," He said, holding out his hand. I put the pieces together and got what he meant by "they told me." He was the guy that was waiting for me. He was the exchange student. _

I was showing Emmett around and he was so charming, I could feel my usual cautious mood wear off. When you have the reputation of being the most beautiful girl in town, you have got to be extra careful to ensure that the guy isn't just faking to be into you so that he can brag to his friends that he got your number or more. That's why I sometimes hate the fact that I'm spending my college years in such a small town. Not that jerks don't live in the larger towns, just that here everyone knows who I am and I'm the ultimate trophy for a male on the hunt.

However, this was one of those times that I'm grateful for my appearance. I could tell Emmett was drooling over me every time I wasn't looking at him and I liked it. He was so cute, he was huge and yet he had the sweetest smile. *You're falling for him. You're falling for him,* the annoying voice in my head wouldn't stop repeating. It was silly, seeing as I'd only known him for about half an hour, but he seemed to be the kind of guy who would rather protect than take advantage of me.

"So, here's the cafeteria. It's not as bad as they say, but still nothing like a real restaurant," I explained as we walked inside. From the look Emmett gave me, I realized he was hungry. I saw that Edward and Bella were still eating in the back, bickering.

"My friends are still here, do you want to sit with them and grab a bite or something?"

He nodded. "Perfect I'd be happy to get my first bite with you." He winked and I felt like a teenage girl on her first date.

Emmett went to get his food and I hurried to Bella's side.

"He's so gay," Edward said, continuing an apparently very frustrating argument with Bella.

"No he's not gay, is just way more sensitive than you are," She grumbled.

"Well I'm sorry but a guy-"

"Time out lovers." I interrupted, shutting them up. "Bella, I'm in so much trouble, that guy Emmett is so hot."

"So you like him?" Edward asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, why? Are you the only one allowed to have sex?"

He choked on his muffin and I turned my attention back to my best friend.

"Bells, I swear there's something weird happening, it's like…" I started.

"Like love at first sight?" She asked, and I was appalled by my own train of thoughts.

"Argh! Don't say it out loud! You know I don't believe in love at first sight. Still, it's like he's… perfect for me."

"Rosie, if you are attracted to him, there's got to be something wrong with him," Edward teased.

I growled at him. "I'll kill you Cullen, I swear."

Edward and Bella glanced at each other knowingly, but Emmett joined us, so I let it go.

"Bella, Edward, this is Emmett McCarty, he's visiting our campus for a couple of weeks, Emmett this is Bella, my best friends and roommate and this is the annoying, yet unavoidable, Edward Cullen."

"Welcome to Forks," Edward greeted.

"Yes, nice to meet you, Emmett." Bella concurred.

"Nice to meet you, too."

Emmett got started on his breakfast while the inseparable duo continued to argue a little more about a character unknown to me that may or may not be gay.

"Edward, we're late, we got to go. See you at lunch, Rose. Bye Emmett." Bella gathered her things in a hurry and forced Edward up. I caught Emmett staring at me again. He was embarrassed that I'd caught him, so he tried to break the awkward silence.

"Wow, your friends are something, how long have they been going out?"

I laughed at the familiar question. "They're not together but they get that a lot."

Emmett looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yes, really, they've been best friends forever. Edward is more of a womanizer than a Prince Charming, if you know what I mean, and Bella is definitely a damsel in distress in need of a Prince Charming."

He smirked at my answer, leaning towards me. My heart skipped a beat. "And what are you, Miss Hale?"

I held is intense gaze and flirted back. "That depends on how handsome said prince or womanizer is."

He stood up and offered me his arm. "Let's see the rest of this place."

I stood up and obliged him, taking his proffered arm. I took him to the library, or as I call it, "Bella's territory," but I was dying to bring him to the engineering building, to show him the cars. I knew he would love it.

"Ready to get serious? It's time to see the garage." I asked and he looked excited like a little boy on Christmas.

He opened the door for me and I guided him through the building. As we were turning around a corner, he stopped dead in is tracks and then took a step back.

"What?" I turned to ask him.

"Sorry, it's just I saw the annoying guy from the local newspaper. He wants to do a feature on me. Well I guess I won't be able to avoid him anymore."

I peeked at the guy he was talking about. It was Tyler, a journalism student who used to follow me around like a sad puppy. He was heading towards us. I looked around and took Emmett's hand, dragging him behind me. We were soon safe inside a broom closet.

"All safe. So, you want to tell me why Tyler is on your ass like that?"

He looked puzzled for a second. "You don't know?"

Now I was just as lost. "Know what?"

"My father asked me to check the place out because he wants to make sure his investments are being put to good use."

My eyes widened. So he was the son of the main investor? He had the power to make us rich or to shut us down. *Really Rose, you should have figured it out earlier, all the fuss about you showing him around and how you need to be welcoming; they don't want him just because he's good, but because he is tie to all the money.*

He looked right into my eyes. "You're not mad are you?"

He looked so worried like he'd done something horrible I couldn't help but smile. "You know, you look like a big teddy bear."

He laughed. "Thanks, I guess." As we laughed together, I became aware of how close our bodies were.

"So, do you think you'll transfer here permanently?" I asked, trying to hide my genuine interest in his answer.

"I don't know yet," He answered, his voice was all weird and his eyes now glued to the floor. I put my hands on is arm.

"Hey, is there something wrong?"

He seemed torn. "Rose… I can call you Rose, right?" he murmured.

"Sure." I felt my body heat up; he was so sexy with that low voice. I felt his eyes on my lips and his hands grazing my hips slightly. I was mesmerized by his blue eyes that melted all my worries and caution. I couldn't believe I was doing it, but I closed my eyes and leaned in; it was like someone else had taken control over my body.

His thumb traced my bottom lip; I could tell he was shaking. I held my breath and...

His phone rang loudly, making me jerk away. He swore under his breath and answered. I couldn't hear a word he said, so I let my head fall back on the hard closet wall, trying to slow my heart down. When he hung up, he looked pretty upset and I could tell the moment was over.

"I guess it's all clear now," I said shakily. I turned the doorknob and got out. I needed to breathe. He followed me. He looked like he'd seen a ghost or something.

"Hum… eh… sorry Rosalie, I have… I have to go, see you later okay?"

And just like that he was walking away from me and my heart was stirring. What kind a mess had I gotten myself into?

_It could be right around the corner, _

_It could be right in front of your face; _

_If you just know your love you'll notice_

_When it's in your orbit on any given day._

_Any given day, Laura Webb_


	5. By heart Bella

**This story will take place on a long period of time so I'll have to fast forward a lot of unimportant stuff. Every substantial time gap will be marked with ****a:**

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**If you have suggestions about how to make it better please do. I finally know where I'm going with Rose and Emmett****; yeah me. Also I want to clarify that Edward and Bella really only see each other as friend… for now. The song for this chapter is "By heart" by Brooke Hogan.**

Bella

_**Par Coeur**_

I was sitting in class, but the teacher was running a little late, so I could hear people gossip about the upcoming party Jessica was throwing to show that Edward hadn't shaken her self confidence. Little did she know that Edward and I had no intention of showing up. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't see Mike Newton approaching me.

"Hey Bella," he said, his voice a little nervous. I knew that voice; I was in big trouble. The red alarm in my head was screaming at me, but here when I turned to Edward for support, I found an empty seat. *Traitor.* Surely he'd seen Mike, but was just taking the opportunity to torture me.

"Hi Mike." The boy was so persistent; I can't keep count of how many times I have turned him down. I was mad at Edward for leaving me alone to face him. My handsome best friend was usually a pretty good shield against Mike's attempts to ask me out. Mike was so intimidated by him it was laughable, but Edward did have it all: the looks, the money, the popularity. I quickly screened the classroom to see if I could still hope to be rescued. My so-called best friend was flirting with a girl, watching me from the corner of his eye. He was so enjoying this.

"What's up Mike?" I tried my best to sound annoyed, but by the look on his face he didn't sense the tone.

"Well… I was thinking maybe I could take you out this weekend."

I must have made a face because Edward started to laugh. I took the BFFF card out of my book and began toying with it as if I was bored. Edward would get the message.

Mike was getting uncomfortable. "Hum… would you come with me to Jessica's party Friday night?" he asked as Edward sat back next to me.

"Hey Newton; still hitting on my Bella?"

Mike gulped. "Cullen… I was just inviting Bella to a party Friday night." He sounded defeated already.

Edward put his arms around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "You are not in luck Newton, Bella and I have plans Friday night." He took my hand in his for Mike to see and retrieved the card discreetly. I looked at his cocky grin and couldn't help but smile. He was so bad, no wonder everyone in school thought we were together, but I was not going to complain if it kept Mike away from me.

Edward is really protective of me, he has always been. When we were in high school, I had wondered if it was the reason I couldn't find a boyfriend, but now I knew that if I liked a guy, Edward would step aside. If I find someone interesting when we go out, he always knows, sometimes even before I do, and steps aside. He knows me so well.

"Of course you do," Mike grumbled as he walked back to his seat. I slapped Edward playfully when I could be sure Mike wasn't looking.

"What did I do?" he asked me with his most angelic face.

"You know perfectly well what you did," I accused him.

"I was too chivalrous and you think it will ruin my reputation as a bad boy?"

I snickered. "You ruined my dating opportunities with all the boys in Forks for the rest of the month."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Like you care." He could tell I wasn't really upset, damn him. To be honest, I love that he can read me so well and that I can do the same. Our relationship defines my life and I know I could never feel such trust and friendship towards someone else.

The course flew by quickly; it was my favorite. The teacher was a motivated young writer, and his enthusiasm was contagious. I said goodbye to Edward after he promised to come by the apartment for supper, so that he could give Rose and me all the dirty details of his break up. My French class was less entertaining, especially since I didn't have anyone to talk to there.

When I went to wait for Rosalie at our usual spot, she was already there. She was staring into space, looking disgruntled; I began to worry. Maybe Edward was right and Emmett wasn't as nice as he'd seemed this morning. Her face lit up when I sat across from her. She smiled mysteriously.

"Bella, you got to learn how to refuse a date by yourself." I gave her a questioning look. "Honey, I've been here for half an hour and all everyone is talking about is the Mike incident. He's telling everyone that 'Cullen and his girl', that's you sweetie, are finally going public." We laughed. "Bella I want details; what did he do this time?"

I ran my hand over my face, trying to remember exactly what Edward said.

"It wasn't even that bad," I groaned.

"I'm sure it wasn't." She really liked to tease me about my constant need to defend Edward. I used to worry Rose would never like him, but they are now partners in crime. They know I hate the attention and both go out of their way to put me in the spotlight. You would think that with both of them being so gorgeous, no one would notice me standing in the middle.

"So, where's Emmett?" Rosalie's glum look reappeared on her face.

"I don't know." Her voice held an edge of disappointment, so I urged her for details.

"The weirdest thing happened. We were in the janitor closet on the first floor… don't ask… and we almost kissed."

"That's good, right?" I inquired.

"Well, not really, he looked like he was in pain, trembling, but I'm sure I made it clear I wanted it." We both frowned, trying to make sense of his behavior. "Then his phone rang and he just took off; babbling a sentence far from syntactical." Rose sounded pissed. She wasn't use to rejection, even from a millionaire.

"Maybe he just received some really bad news," I suggested, but I could tell by the crease in her forehead that she wasn't buying it.

She shook her head. "Well, our lunch isn't going to be ruined by a guy."

We started talking about the upcoming weeks, anxious for February to be over so that we could get better weather. Edward's birthday was two weeks from Saturday and we were planning a little trip to Seattle. Rose was in desperate need of action, and Edward would love the idea of a weekend getaway after his quarrel with Jessica. Anyway, he takes every chance he gets to spoil us.

If I haven't been clear about this before, Edward is rich. His father was a doctor and his mother is remarried to a billionaire. At first he refused her money, but over the years he decided that spending it recklessly would be even more fun. Every time we go out in Seattle, he rents the most expensive hotel for us to spend the night, and Rosalie always insists to go shopping for a new outrageous outfit. Unfortunately for me, I hate shopping; I wish that Rose could find someone else to share that particular passion with. Edward usually comes along, making sarcastic comments and keeping me company. The saleswomen always hit on him and that provides endless entertainment for Rosalie and me.

Rose and I spent the rest of our lunch talking about what we would be doing over the weekend, and time flew by.

Rose stood up first. "Bye sweetie, I have to try to talk to Emmett about what happened, or I'll never stop obsessing about it."

I gave her an encouraging smile and she left.

Much to Rose's dismay, Emmett was nowhere to be found that afternoon. She explained later that everyone had seen him, but that he was clearly avoiding her in particular. For two weeks, Rose tried to cross his path and failed miserably. I could tell the whole thing made her more upset than she wanted me to see.

It was finally time to get ready for our special weekend, but her heart wasn't into it anymore. I was getting together my stuff, so that I would be ready to leave after class tomorrow. Edward was lying on my bed, watching a movie on the huge flat screen he'd forced me to put on my wall. He had argued that by refusing, I was depriving him of perfected image quality. I'd given in on the condition that the TV was still his even though it was on my wall, and that it was only there because it made him happy

When I finished packing, I lay beside him and to my surprise, he turned off the TV. He shifted his body towards me and I could immediately tell that something was wrong.

"Bells, I got a letter from Alice," He carefully stated as he put in my hands an unopened white envelope.

_But it feels good _

_Cause he knows me by heart _

_And it feels right, don't want it to stop _

_He knows what I'm like _

_And he knows what I'm not _

_He knows everything about me_

_By heart, Brooke Hogan_


	6. Memories Edward

**Thanks to all who reviewed, you don't how much I enjoy reading your comments. I'm also pleased that this stor****y is now on the alert list of 26 readers but please don't forget to review, I'll answer any of your question. Now I'm going to motivate you to review by asking your opinion. Later in the story Bella will meet a guy and there are three possible names for him:**

**Julian (which is the original name of the character in the French version)**

**Jacob (for obvious reasons but I'm not sure it's a good idea)**

**James (because I insist the name starts with a J lol and I actually like that name) **

**Please vote in your review ! And let me know if you see mistakes in my syntax; English is still my second language ;)**

**This chapter is really important for the story and I'm not totally satisfied with it.**

**The song**** is "Time after time" by Cyndi Lauper. **

Edward

_**Souvenirs d'un autre temps**_

_Dear Edward, _

_I know the last time we were together I've been unfair to you. I've failed you as a friend when I asked you to __deny your pain and grief. It was too much of me to ask. But I really miss you. I know that it wasn't meant to be that way between us. We were so close before I left for England and it saddened me that you held a grudge for a choice I didn't make. Now I understand how you felt and I realise that you may still need time. But I'm going to turn 18 this summer and as a gift I want my brother back. I need you back in my life Edward and I hope that you will find it in yourself to forgive us. I want to get to know the wonderful person you've become. Say hi to Bella for me, though I can feel that she won't be far from you when you open this letter. _

_Love, your little sister_

_Alice Cullen_

I smiled weakly. Alice was right; Bella was actually the one reading the letter to me. Her voice put everything into perspective and calmed me. Alice and I hadn't talked for 4 whole years. When I'd visited her and my mom a couple of years after my father's death it had been too soon for me. Carlisle had made his peace with the whole thing but I hadn't. To be honest I don't know if I ever did. I do blame my mother for my father's death but so many years have passed I begin to wonder if this hatred is just stupid and unhealthy. Maybe I'm insane to be upset about it still; but I'm afraid that I'll be betraying my father if I give back to my mother her last alienated child.

So the week I'd spent with them had been rocky to say the least. I resented Alice for being so forgiving and moving on with her life, I was so sad that she'd left us even though she was too young to be given a choice. I'd said a lot of thing I didn't mean. I'd told her that I didn't need a backstabbing pain in the ass sister and some other awful things I could never repeat. We'd been not talking ever since, all those years I wanted badly to write but I felt unworthy of her forgiveness. But she'd given it to me anyway.

It was pure Alice, she'd always been the nicest, sweetest and most compassionate of the Cullen's. But mending our relationship means forgiving my mom; I know Alice will trick me into doing it and that; I don't know if I can handle yet.

"Bells I don't know what to do." Bella felt my distress and hugged me. She started playing with my hair like she used to do when we were little. For so long we didn't talk about Alice; I know Bella is dying for us to make up but I also know she would never pressure me.

"It's okay; you don't have to decide right now, Alice expects you to hesitate." She assured me. She knows of my dilemma, she knows how far from nice I've been but she sticks by my side anyway and for that I can't be more grateful.

We stayed tangled in each other for a while, Bella waiting patiently for me to open up. When I woke up in the middle of the night I didn't remember falling asleep. Bella's face on my chest was so peaceful I felt bad about disrupting her sleep. I crawled out from under her carefully; hoping not to disturb her. I put her favourite blanket over her so that she wouldn't be cold and walked towards the door. I stopped in front of the big picture board I knew too well. Bella kept pictures of us from all the periods of our lives on this board. Recent ones with Rose's stunning smile, one of me and Carlisle at graduation, her with her parents before the divorce and older ones with a way younger version of Bella and me. Little Bella and little Edward were holding hands with an even more little black haired pixie. Picture from another time; back when my father was still alive. Alice was right, we were meant to be friends.

I went home debating the idea of writing back to her, I could always ask for a little more time to make my peace with mom. Maybe I could start by doing things with Alice, she could come to spend March break at our house. Or is it too soon? But I don't want to reconcile with my sister over the phone, I want to see her.

I thought about how Bella and Alice would be excited to see each other again. They hadn't kept contact with one another by pure respect for my feelings but they would be so thrilled to get to be friends again. At 6 am sharp my phone rang. It was Bella.

"Hey."

"Are you okay I was worried when I saw you'd disappeared?" Her voice was still thick with sleep.

"I'm fine Bells… I've decided to write back." I could hear a wide smile forming on her lips.

"Edward I'm so happy."

"Me too now go back to sleep we'll meet at your place at eleven okay?"

"Perfect and Edward, I think you're making the right choice." She hung up and I wrote the letter. I asked Alice if she wanted to come and visit us on March break. Maybe she wouldn't. It was after all just two weeks from tomorrow and she could have made plans already. I kept it short though I apologized to her for being so stubborn before. I posted it immediately by priority airmail so she could get it on Monday; increasing my chances for her to come. Then I decided to get a little more sleep; I still had an excruciating afternoon of driving and shopping ahead of me. I fell asleep thinking about how nice it felt to know my sister wanted me back into her life.

**TBC**** Review !!!**

_Flashback; warm nights;_

_almost left behind _

_suitcases of memories_

_If you're lost you can look __and you will find me _

_time after time _

_if you fall I will catch you; __I'll be waiting _

_time after time_


	7. Feel good time Rosalie

**Ok I'm having fun with this chapter there's been this idea in my head all week about what Rose and Edward like to do together and I figured while I watched the baseball movie scene (awesome by the way) that they both like to compete against each other.**

**Another thing CARLISLE ISN'T EDWARD'S FATHER. He is his brother, he "adopted him" after their father's death. I'm sorry for the confusion : ) Please review it gives me the nudge to start another chapter.**

**Rosalie**

_**Le pari**_

I arrived at the apartment around one am; happy to be done with my marketing project. I had worked my ass off to be free to party this weekend. Edward's Volvo was still in the parking lot so I figured there was a movie night going on inside Bella's bedroom. Our apartment isn't very big but I love it. It's more like a loft, there's no real separation between the living room and kitchen and we can see the bedrooms when the doors are opened. The bathroom is spacious. Our bedrooms doors are right beside one another. The living room consists of a love seat and a sofa in front of my TV. The kitchen is more extravagant; there's a wide work space in the middle with 4 bar stools so that we can eat on it if with want. There's also a rectangular table but we only use it when we have guests.

I couldn't hear a sound so I walked to Bella's door. It was halfway open. I smiled at the sight before me. They were so cute, holding on each other even in unconsciousness. Edward's face was breathtaking; his face free of his trademark smirk he looked like an angel. Bella seemed so happy, a small smile playing on her lips. Tenderness was radiating from them. I couldn't resist taking a picture with my cell.

No wonder Edward doesn't need anything but sex from the other girls. He isn't shallow, insensitive or gross; he's just getting everything else from Bella. Bella isn't in a hurry to find a boyfriend either she already has a confident, a protector and a shoulder to cry on. I was wrong before saying that Edward isn't enough of a knight for Bella. It's just that their relationship isn't about passion or romance. In a way; it feels like it's beyond that. Their love is pure, untainted; unconditional. I felt a needle of jealousy sting me. Whatever happened, they had each other. How easier would their life be if they were to fall for each other? Neither of them could find someone better suited. Sooner or later one of them will fall in love and the romantic interest won't accept their relationship. I want to believe that their friendship will overcome the obstacles.

I got ready for bed thinking about Emmett. I feel like a fool for being so attached to him but I can't dismiss the memory of our almost kiss. I've come to think that the only reasonable explanation is that he already has a girlfriend. Of course a guy like him would be taken. But why did he almost kiss me? And why do I care? Why does his torn face hunt my dreams? I'm not usually a romantic girl like Bella. I don't believe in love at first sight or soul mates; I think love is something you have to fight for. Was Emmett worth fighting for? That's what I needed to find out.

When I woke up the next morning I hurried out of bed to get my things ready before Bella came back from her class. We were departing around eleven; leaving us enough time to drive up there, go shopping, check in at the hotel and get ready. Edward had a Volvo for everyday use but I knew he would borrow Carlisle's Vanquish for today and I was really excited. I love expensive cars; my dream is to afford a Porsche before my senior year. I plan to go with Jasper to New York this summer to model. He'll try to pay his loans back before starting to teach in September. Jasper and I go along really well he knows how to handle my temper but we haven't seen a lot of each other this year because he's really into his studies. I'm looking forward to next year; he'll be free to have is own life in between classes.

Bella and Edward arrived about the same time and we packed the car. Edward laughed at me for bringing so much stuff but I couldn't travel light it was a lost cause. The ride was fun; we talked and listened to Edward's CDs. When we arrived at the mall I began looking for Bella's outfit first because I knew that once again she would be difficult.

"Not today Rose I'm not in the mood." I frowned.

"Please Bella I'll only pick three different tops and skirts." I pouted; trying to change her mind.

After an hour of argument, I settled for her to keep her jeans but forced her to buy the cutest black halter tank top with a single strand of lace over the breasts. She paid for it with a sarcastic smile. Edward assured her that it looked good on her and not at all flashy. She seemed relieved a little, especially when she saw what I had picked out. The bottom was a denim low rise mini skirt with small decorative buckles on one side; gorgeous. The top was a flaming red; black shirred lace up corset. I went to 5 stores before finding a proper heel with the exact same colour.

We ate at 7:00 in a small but classy restaurant near the hotel. When we were done we went to our room to get ready. We had the best suite in the place with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Bella and I took possession of the biggest one and I started doing my hair. I wanted to give it volume by curling it slightly. After my make up was done I put on my outfit and went to the living room to get Bella. She gasped when she saw me.

"Well I'm not worried anymore nobody will be looking at me with you wearing that." Bella stated. Edward turned to look and whistle playfully. He was handsome in his black button down shirt. Bella had also changed. I grabbed her by the arm, pulling her towards our room.

"I still have to do your hair and make-up." She groaned.

"It'll take 5 minutes I promise." I quickly sat her on a chair and began working. I used my curling iron to create luscious curls in her magohany hair but I kept it simple. It took me no more than 10 minutes but she was already desperate for it to end. When we met Edward back in the living room he motioned for us to take a seat.

"Rose I've got a game for you." He sat beside me and handed me a pile of hotel business cards. I knew he would have some crazy plan to keep us entertained.

"I'm intrigued."

"You and I give out hotel cards, inviting people to a party tomorrow night."

"What party?"

"Well you see there's no real party but the hostess will keep count of how many boys and girls show up." A wicked smile spread across his lips.

"So basically we compare our flirting skills?"

"Pretty much."

"You're on Cullen." Bella rolled her eyes looking bored already.

Edward and I love to compete against each other. My worst flaw is my vanity so he knows I could never refuse such a bet. We come up with games and Bella oversees everything so that we don't cheat. She doesn't want to play she says she's no match for us. She's wrong but whatever. I put my coat on and took the car's keys lying on the coffee table.

"I'm driving."


	8. Winning and losing Edward

**I described Edward as a sort of a womanizer but I haven't let that sid****e of him shine through yet. I won't be able to keep writing a chapter every two days because my final exams are coming up and this fic is already sucking to much study time. But I'll do as best as I can I promise. Thanks to all of you this story is already my most popular one and I'm so grateful you like it. **

Edward

_**Que le meilleur gagne**_

I was excited to play the little game I'd made up. Rosalie always proved to be a fierce competitor. Convincing the hostess to go along with my little game was almost too easy. She was 21 and the daughter of the manager. He would always let her in charge on the weekends but she didn't really like that job. She was pretty. I gained her trust and flirted with her. She was impressed that I had enough money to rent their biggest suite and she totally flirted back. I could see she thought I was the most handsome guy she'd ever seen in real life. She began asking questions about me. Then I told her that my sisters (I didn't want her to think I had a girlfriend) had made a bet with me and that I needed her help. She agreed to everything not even asking questions. She waved at me while we were departing and I winked at her. She giggled. I let Rosalie drive.

The place we were going to was a popular dancing club. There were a lot of people but it wasn't overcrowded. There were two sections; first a wide dance floor and in the back as far as possible from the loud DJ a bar with a lot of tables with leather seat and a few pool tables.

We entered right at the end of a song and a lot of people turned to look at us. Rosalie put her arms around Bella and lots of guys were now staring at them. She was already cheating. Bella didn't want to believe it but she looked beautiful. Rosalie and her laughing together was a sight no male would want to miss.

"Bells she's using you to get more attention." I stated.

"Don't be silly." She answered.

Rosalie looked over her shoulder, pushing Bella towards the dance floor and winked at me with a satisfied smile.

No fair I would have to work twice as hard. Rosalie attracts more attention so to speak but I have my charming smile working for me. I usually don't have to look for women they have the tendency to find me. I'll just have to stay away from my two drop dead gorgeous best friends so that the normal girls won't feel intimidated. I'll still keep an eye on them though; I can't recall how many times they attracted troubles from drunken men. I preferred last year when Jasper used to come with us. He's not that much older and it's fun to have a guy around to save me from all the girly stuff. But he's in his last year and apparently not as free to do as he pleases. Too bad Emmett was going psycho on Rose he could have been a nice partner to pick out girls.

I went to get a beer and started looking around. There were a lot of college girls present I could recognize a few of them. I flirted a little with a herd of blonde freshman and started handing out cards. Rose was doing the same on the dance floor. After half an hour Bella stopped dancing and I walked over to her to have insides on how Rose was doing.

"So is Rose on a roll?"

"I need a drink you guys are driving me crazy with your games." She said and I followed her to the bar.

I laughed.

"Yeah I know Rosalie is pretty serious about it."

Bella and I looked at her flirting and we laughed. She was really into it. I'd come up with the bet because I wanted to get Emmett out of her head. She'd been upset over him for two weeks now. I didn't know what his deal was but clearly avoiding someone wasn't the most mature way to deal with his problem.

After a while Rosalie motioned for Bella to come back to the dance floor.

Before Rose had come along Bella had never tried to dance in a public place. Rose had helped her self confidence immensely and she'd discover that she could do it. She was surprisingly a very good dancer. I watched them dance thinking that if I didn't know them I would have been up there trying to get a date as half the men present were doing.

The evening went on smoothly. I played pool with one of Jasper's friends I knew from the last time we'd gone out. After wining for the third time in a row I spotted a group of girls pointing at me. I was just about to go and talk to them when a cute brunette touched my arms to get my attention.

"Hi you're Edward right?" She asked smiling. I remembered seeing her somewhere.

"Yes and you are…"

"Megan; I'm in your composition class."

"Right you're the violinist." She seemed thrilled I remembered her. She was really good too. She was the only one with violin as her major instrument and I could recall hearing her during practice hour. I myself play the piano; I love composing but I know it's not an easy field. I don't actually need to work right now so why shouldn't I do something I really enjoy. Besides I love giving piano lessons to kids they're always so happy and eager to learn. I've been doing it as a summer job for three years now while Bella's spending endless hours working on her stories. Last summer she got a job at the University's library so now she can write while being paid. So; back to Megan.

"So what are you doing in Seattle?" She asked flirting. I gave her my most charming smile. Jessica was still the last one on my list and I needed to go back in business.

"Same as you; just having a good time." I answered casually. People were moving all around us because the first slow of the night had just begun and Megan took the opportunity to bump into me "accidentally". I steadied her and we talked a little more. She implied a couple of times that she wanted to dance. The innuendos brought my attention back to Rose who was dancing with a guy. Bella was nowhere to be found. I frowned; looking around for some sign of her.

"Do you want to dance?" Megan finally asked as I screened the room hoping to see another brunette I knew so well. I looked at the bar, seats, bathroom line; everywhere.

"Sorry I have to go I'll see you later Megan." She pouted obviously not happy to be dismissed so rudely. I walked up to Rose and the guy she was dancing with evaporated when he saw my grim face. She glared at me.

"That was uncalled for." She grimaced.

"Where's Bella?" Rose's eyes widened.

"She said she was going to hang out with you for a bit."

"When was that?"

"It's been a while. Five or six songs" She whispered trying to remember.

Bella is not the most outgoing person; she usually stays with one of us when we go out or sometimes a guy catches her attention and she talks to him a while but she never disappears. My heart quickened; where was she. Rose attracts troubled guys but Bella is a danger magnet. She's clumsy and a little naïve. Damn what was I doing leaving her out of my sight.

"Edward I'm worried." Rose high pitched voice seemed on the edge of panic; she knew Bella too.

"So am I." I looked at my watch, it was a quarter to one and Rosalie hadn't seen her for at least 20 minutes.

"Go check the bathroom I'll go outside." I hurried out of the club, there were couples kissing all around. Drunken guys yelling stuff at each other. I walked to the car and back yelling her name. It was like a nightmare. Rose was by the door shaking her head. Shit ! My body tensed up; my hands turning into fists. I didn't know what to do we were in downtown Seattle and Bella didn't have her cell phone with her.

"You're sure she's not inside?" I shouted; losing my temper.

Rose nodded. I walked in circles in front of her.

"Calm down Edward I'm sure we're going to find her." Rose tried to reason with me but she was as worried as I was.

"What if we don't? What if she's lost or hurt or worst?" I yelled. I began cursing loudly and people around us started to scatter. Rose went back to look inside and when she reappeared I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Edward I'm scared." Rose exploded.

I suddenly felt someone tugging strongly on my shirt.

"What going on?" It was her melodic voice; relief washed through me as I pulled her up into a bone crushing hug.

"What's that for?" She asked confused.

"Never do that again; never." I just held her and she relaxed into my arms; understanding that we'd been worried about her. When I released her I noticed why Rose had been so silent. Emmett was standing right behind Bella.

"I just ran into Emmett while walking and he offered to escort me; we got to talking I'm sorry." She grinned at Rose. I didn't think it was funny.

"You were walking outside alone?" I shouted, infuriated; she couldn't even try to be careful?

"Edward calm down; I'm all right. In fact I'm a little cold why don't we go back inside." She pushed me backwards, leaving Rose and Emmett alone to talk. I was still shaking. I would never have forgiven myself if something bad had happened.

"You're so tense relax everything's fine." She said sweetly. I shook my head.

"I can't; Bells something bad could have happened… no would have happened; it's you after all and I would never had…" She put a finger on my lips to silence me.

"You've got to calm down you're all red." She laughed and I relaxed a little. Every breath you take by The Police started playing loudly. She loved that song.

She took my hand and forced me on the dance floor placing my arms around her waist and her arms around my neck. My breathing started to come back to normal. I lost myself in her familiar scent. I could never hope to live without her. I would have to be more careful next time. It was my job to protect her.

When she knew I could think straight again she explained why she'd been with Emmett for so long.

"Emmett told me why he's been avoiding Rose. He was ashamed they'd almost kissed."

"Was Rose right? Does he have a girlfriend?" I tried to sound interested but frankly right now I was just glad she was alive. Bella sighed sadly and I looked into her eyes to guess what could be so terrible.

"He's engaged."

**TBC**

**If I get much feedback ****saying how mean I am with this cliffy I'll update before the weekend. Now think about if you want an Emmett point of view and if you do ask for it in your review.**

_Every breath you take__,_

_Every move you__ make; _

_Every bond you break_

_Every step you take _

_I'll be watching you._


	9. Happy birthday Bella

**I did my best to update soon and you guys have been really lucky. A big snow storm decided my immunology teacher to cancel is last two class yeah I'm actually jumping up and down.**** Thanks for all the feedback I received you guys are great I couldn't do it without you. This chapter is nowhere as good as the last one but I wrote it very quickly so be kind. **

Bella

_**Juste amis**_

I left Rose alone to her thoughts until we arrived in our room. We crawled under the covers and I whispered.

"So what did he say?"

"He explained that he'd been ashamed of his behaviour." She clearly wanted to avoid the subject.

"And?"

"Well we agreed to be friends; he's engaged Bella. Even I can see the "No Future" sign on his forehead." I laughed, if she could kid about it than she took it better than I'd thought.

"I mean a girlfriend I could've handled… if I really liked him." She implied half joking and my jaw dropped.

"Rose you're so bad." We giggled. She was still a little drunk so maybe it would be harder to take in the morning. After all she'd almost admitted the existence of love at first sight after meeting that guy. Emmett had spent the last moments of the soiree with us and he really was a great guy. During our walk I'd discovered that his intimidating exterior was far from his personality. Rosalie needed a guy like that; someone not afraid to speak his mind but also sweet and fun; and big enough to scare the competition. Edward's reaction to my disappearance was so typical but I promised myself to spare him another panic attack next time I felt like taking a walk.

We fell asleep as soon as I was done ambushing her.

I was the first to wake up at eleven the next morning. It was officially Edward's birthday. I mean it had been since midnight last night but not really. I went to his bedroom and jumped on his bed.

"Happy birthday." I shouted just loud enough for him to really hate me. I was probably the only one without a hang over. He grumbled and just turned away from me. He wasn't getting away so easily. He still owed be from last year when I'd been woken up by a freaking singing quartet. I smile wickedly. In one swift move I stole the bedspread leaving only the sheet to cover him. He sat up in shock and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Swan you're going to give that back NOW." His low voice threatened me. I just smiled innocently at him.

"I'm not kidding ISABELLA." I frowned; I hate when he calls me that. He was definitely not going to get his precious blanket back now.

"You want it, come and take it." I boasted at him retreating towards the door. He stood up and ran towards me. I made a break for it, running toward my room hoping to make it in time to lock myself and my prisoner in. Pulling a pure Bella my leg got caught up in the huge bedspread and I ended up on the floor. I didn't hurt since the thing was huge and fluffy but I was annoyed with myself.

"Well look at that; it's a Bellawrap." He said making fun of me. He wrapped me in even more I couldn't even see anything and picked me up potato bag style. I wanted to say "let me down" but the sound was muffled.

"Vet li fown." Was the best I could manage.

"What did you say; can't hear you!" He mocked entering a room. I heard Rose yelp.

"Rosalie Hale; package for you." He dumped me down on the bed beside Rose and I managed to free my head. Edward was leaving with our bedspread and Rose looked pissed. I sheepishly smiled.

I decided to read a little since I was the only early riser. After a while Rose opened her eyes reluctantly. I took a shower; and Rose waited for her turn. About fifteen minutes later Edward got up and I heard him take a shower as well. He joined me shortly after in the common lounge; hair and bare chest all wet and drippy. I'd ordered breakfast from room service and he went to get the door. The girl's jaw dropped when she saw him. She glanced at me and then at Rose who'd just made her entrance. She left with a weird look on her face and I asked Edward about it.

"She thinks we all showered together." My eyes went wide; people had the craziest ideas.

We ate reminiscing about the highlights of last night. Rose was anxious for diner. We'd invited Emmett to come along and see the outcome of Rose and Edward's game. Edward had noticed that the hotel restaurant was on the second floor overlooking the hall so we could see the results by ourselves. Evidently it was a late diner; we'd agreed to meet at nine and stay at least until midnight. The false party started at ten so that was a fair choice. Rose complained boys had the tendency to be late but we decided that midnight would be the deadline anyway. Emmett had laughed a lot when told of the bet but I can swear I've seen a hint of jealousy on his face when Rosalie's endless flirting was mentioned.

Rose insisted to go shopping again but I didn't feel up for it so I stayed with Edward. We played cards and watched our classic birthday movie: My girl. We'd watched it for the first time on his eleventh birthday and I'd cried so much I'd miss the ending. We'd watched it every year since because Edward claimed he was sure I would eventually be able not to shed a tear. Didn't work this year either. It was just so sad; watching this movie always reminded me if how I felt back then when I thought the story was real and her best friend had died.

When Rosalie came back she was so nervous she had bought the entire store and couldn't figure out which dress to wear. It was a formal restaurant. I couldn't help her.

"You're useless." She whined and changed again.

"I'm just not the right girl to choose an outfit for you." I claimed.

"I'm going to find myself another girl friend."

"All right the red one was better." Her head pooped out of the bathroom.

"Really?" She squealed. It was the first time I'd allowed myself to give a clothing advice.

"Yeah really now get dress we have go."

I was wearing a blue cocktail dress; nothing fancy. The boys looked fine in their tuxedos. We ordered and Rosalie and Emmett went straight for the wine. Edward and Emmett got along surprisingly well. It seemed Emmett had been a womanizer before and they exchanged memories on that subject; keeping it funny so that we wouldn't kill them. By ten people started to show up and we laughed at their disappointment. I felt a little bad. The hostess was telling them the party had been cancelled for personal reasons so they didn't know they'd been fooled. The evening went on. At 11:45 Edward's had a three point lead. He offered me a dance to "celebrate his easy victory" and we led the way. Emmett and Rose followed us.

"I wanted to leave them alone a little." Edward whispered into my ear.

"He's engaged nothing can happen."

"But where is his fiancé and have you noticed the way he looks at her?"

"You think he's falling for her?" He switched places with me so I could see them dancing.

"I think this is trouble; it's a shame. I really like the guy."

Rose and Emmett went back to the table and Rose motioned Edward to come over. There were ten pissed off guys in the hall.

"I guess I win after all." She smirked.

_**TBC**_

**Sorry for the potato bag but**** in French it's a common expression. Well read and review as always and don't forget to tell me if you want an Emmett POV of the diner scene. If not the next chapter will be Rosalie. **

**So I was thinking about where I'm going with this and I just want to share a couple of thoughts. First I think that it's ironic that Bella's obsessed with love at first sight and romantic stories since the love of her life has been sitting right in front of her for the last 20 years. And Rosalie who doesn't believe in all those things ends up falling for a stranger. But I don't want to reveal too much so I'll stop there.**


	10. Promises Rosalie

**Okay this is an important chapter for Rosalie. Sorry for the Emmett POV but the only few responses I got made me think I should wait a little. Don't be disappointed the Emmett POV is coming soon. I'm going to need it for the story. **

**Rosalie**

_**Promesse**_

The following week passed in a blur. Emmett no longer avoided me and we hung out together almost everyday. I was more then ever convinced he was the perfect guy for me. He was stubborn in a cute way. Not afraid to speak his mind. Fun and handsome too. His blue eyes were making me melt inside. The other day a guy from my classes had dared him to pick me up and I'd felt all his rock hard muscles pressed against my chest. My oh my unholy thoughts tainted my afternoon.

Even if he was engaged he sure stared a lot and I didn't make it easier for him. I dressed up everyday to look tantalizing. I was secretly trying to make him regret ever laying his eyes upon his mysterious fiancé. We kept the attraction between us silent to avoid more awkwardness. Maybe we would work pass this and the chemistry between us would eventually wear off and disappear. *Or maybe you'll end up doing something immensely stupid.* I had to keep every thought of seducing him far from my mind. I could never do that it would be despicable but I died to try. For once my outrageous character and appearance could get me what I wanted and I wished to set it loose. Stupid principles.

We'd finally got the girl's name. Victoria. Urg. It felt a little bit too princess for my taste. I'd asked him what she'd do if he were to move here. He'd answered that she would come with him. However the way he'd said it made me wonder if he was so sure she'd come and if he even wanted her to. Okay I'm jealous I admit it.

Bella was ecstatic because Edward's sister was coming to town for spring break. She was landing Sunday afternoon. I was also thrilled to get to see Jasper at last. Emmett was hesitating between spending the week here with us or going back to _her_.

"So have you decided if you're going back to San Francisco?" I asked him while we were waiting for Edward and Bella to get lunch. It was Friday so I'd supposed he'd made up his mind.

"I should go." He mysteriously whispered looking intensely at me. I wished to bath in his eyes… naked. *Stop it Rose think about something else.* But how hard was it to think about something else when he was looking at me like I was something to eat. His big hand moved slowly towards my own.

"Boo." Edward startled me and the moment was gone.

"Good news everyone I'm officially done with my exams." Bella rejoiced. They always interrupted. I wanted to be alone with Emmett; really alone. Wow I needed a distraction.

"Edward Jasper says he's going to be there tonight." I confirmed to him. We were going to a party tonight to celebrate our week of freedom.

"At last." I turned to Emmett.

"You'll see my brother is the best." I bragged. I was nervous for them to meet; being unable to cross Emmett from the "future boyfriend" category and all. I'd specified to my big brother Emmett was engaged so that he wouldn't think there was a romantic thing between us.

"I can't wait to meet him."

"And you'll meet Edward's sister as well." Bella added. Emmett smile turned into a frown.

"I'm afraid I'll be in San Francisco by then." A sigh of disappointment slipped from my lips. He looked at me with a strange look.

"So Bells are you sleeping over tonight?" Edward asked.

"No not tonight just tomorrow."

"Oh you know what we should do? We should make one of those signs people have in airports with the name of the person they're supposed to pick up." They laughed saying Alice would love this. Underneath all this excitement I knew they were nervous. Maybe she had changed too much and the idea terrified them.

"Rose do you want to come with us at the airport?" Bella offered. I wanted to meet Alice but her first day here should be about reuniting with the ones she loved so I declined.

"Anyway I have a trip to Seattle planned with Jasper; maybe we'll catch you guys later."

They nodded and Edward whispered something in Bella's ear a worried look overshadowing his features. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

The rest of the day went by uneventfully. Bella and I made diner and she talked a little more about how she was anxious about Alice's arrival. Around 9:00 I started to go trough my immense closet to find something decent to wear. I came across a dress I'd never worn. It was really over the top. I tried it on and smiled wickedly. It was perfect. I was never conservative when it came to clothes but this time I had outdone myself. It was a halter white dress that clenched tightly to my body in all the right places. Emmett had seen me twice in red before but tonight I would be going for a sexy angel look. I put red lipstick on my lips and curled my hair at the ends. It was our last night with Emmett before his departure. Who knew if the next time he was with us he wouldn't have a fiancé wrapped around his arm. Bella called to tell me it was time to go. She was relieved I had totally forgotten to dress her up. The party was in a big house on Edward's street. The girl who was throwing it was a rich brat but as Edward had said we couldn't miss the spring break "official" college party.

Bella and I had told the boys to go ahead without us. We, or at least I, wanted to be fashionably late. The people outside pointed in my direction as we made our way to the main entrance. The house was a mansion. Not as big as Edward's but still pretty big. There was an indoor pool and some people were already fooling around in it fully clothed. Edward and Emmett were playing pool with a bunch of guys. A couple of girls were cheering them on. They were so focused on their game they didn't see us until we were right under their noses. Emmett gasped when he saw me and I smiled proudly. Jasper wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Ah, my lucky charm." Edward greeted as he put his arm around Bella's waist and pulled her to him. Lauren and Jessica threw daggers at her with their eyes. If looks could kill Bella would have more holes in her than a colander.

All the guys around the table were staring at me. One offered to get me a drink and alcohol seemed like a good way to avoid my Victoria thoughts. I drank a lot in the first hour and when Jasper showed he looked unpleased by the attention I was getting. He wasn't the only one.

Emmett was hovering around me keeping the other guys and the other drinks at a safe distance. Jasper seemed to be grateful for it. Hours passed and I felt myself slowly sobering up. I wanted to dance. I grabbed Bella.

"Let's dance sweetie."

"Rose have you noticed Emmett tonight."

I played dumb.

"No why?"

"Even I can see he's jealous when you flirt with someone else."

I smiled and winked at her.

"Be careful it's all I'm saying."

We had a lot of fun but she got tired quickly and we went back to our seats.

"Where's Edward?" Bella asked since Jasper and Emmett were the only one left at the pool table.

"He's making out with a girl in some dark corner." Jasper stated. Emmett snickered.

"Ew, gross." Bella and I both exclaimed grimacing. The guys looked at each other and imitated us. We growled at them.

Then I noticed it. Emmett and Jasper were getting along. It was shocking. Then I remembered Jasper didn't see Emmett as my date and so he didn't need to be protective of me. We talked while they finished their game and then Jasper came close to Bella and offered her his hand.

"Would do me the honour of dancing with me princess Bella?" He asked playfully.

"Of course grandpa." She teased him. We always made fun of Jasper because he was older than us. Bella and him were very similar; both being really sweet and compassionate beings. She had become his second little sister. Emmett offered his hand to me to mirror Jasper's demand and my heart skipped a beat. Last time we'd danced I'd almost crossed the line. Could I risk it tonight? His pleading eyes got to my heart and we walked to the dance floor.

We started to dance about a feet away from each other like friends would in a crowded place but as the music went on and our bodies brushed by mistake; I felt the need to be closer to him overpowering my resolve. People around us kept pushing us on each other and I couldn't take it anymore.

I decided to be bold and diminished the distance between us to a mere inch. He froze for a second but his eyes darkened and he put his hands on my hips. Our bodies started to move in perfect synch. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever felt. His movements were driving me wild. As I was grinding into him tauntingly I felt he was more than a little aroused. And so was I. He grabbed my neck and pulled my face close to his. Our lips brushed. He let out a low growl that sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his ragged breath on my cheek; his arms holding my body pressed against his as tightly as possible. His eyes were piercing my soul. Mere seconds passed and in a desperate attempt to regain his self control he let go of me roughly. I barely achieved to stay upright.

I felt so hot. I was so embarrassed. My entire body was burning. I needed to get out; to be away from the crowd; away from him. I practically ran outside. I put my face in my hands trying to cool down. I was all flustered. I took a couple of deep breaths and prepared myself to go back inside. But he was suddenly there by my side.

"Rose I need to talk to you." He looked so good. *Oh my god what does he want to talk about? Does he think I planned this? Oh crap he wants to warn me that he can't see me anymore.* On the top of it all I was drunk. Lowered inhibitions weren't going to help me control my evil thoughts. I just stood there locking my eyes with his; remembering I didn't need to be ashamed. He was the one engaged.

"I'm going to break up with Victoria." He vehemently stated putting both his arms on my shoulders. My heart stopped beating altogether. Oh my god. Oh my god. OH MY GOD. What? I was suddenly a little scared. Did he really mean that? Even if he did I didn't know what to do. What if it didn't work between us? It was a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship. He noticed my sudden concern.

"We were engaged to please our fathers. They wanted to merge their two companies on solid ground. Back then I thought I wouldn't miss out on anything. Since I met you I realised how foolish I was. Even if you don't want me now; I can't go back to her knowing that maybe someday you would and I wouldn't be around."

"Are you serious?" I asked in a whisper. I couldn't believe it.

"I can't be engaged to her and feel so strongly about you. It's just not right." My heart was beating so fast in my chest.

"I only want you Rosalie Hale." My thoughts were a mess.

"But won't your father be mad at you?" I uttered in a shaky voice. I wanted badly for it to work out.

"He will but I don't care. The engagement isn't even official yet so I'm going to go back and break it off properly. The press will never know and my father will have to accept it."

We stared intently at each other and I felt his patience melt.

Our lips crushed. How good it felt to finally give in. His lips were rough and demanding. Our tongues duelled for control. His big arms wrapped passionately around me; his hands caressing the small of my back. I let my hands wander in his curly brown hair. He moved on to my neck and I groaned. Wow the guy could kiss.

"Damn Hale you don't know what you're doing to me." He whispered huskily in my ear. His lips claimed mine again and his hands moved to trace the hem of my dress; grazing my ass. God I wanted him so badly. Maybe we could sneak out and go to my place. Before I could think about it further I heard something I wished I hadn't.

"What do you think you're doing?" My brother roared in anger. Emmett let go of me but he wasn't fast enough to avoid the fist coming straight for his face.

**Ok I was torn between letting them go all the way (because Emmett and Rosalie aren't known for their patience in the physical sphere of their relationship) but dec****ided against it. At least not in this chapter but it could happen really soon and I just want to know if you guys think it's in character for them to do it so soon. Review !**


	11. Fights Edward

**Okay this ****probably going to be a mess I'm still not done with my finals but after that it's going to be Christmas frenzy and I don't know if I'll have much time to write. So I'll maybe make changes on this chapter if I feel it's not good enough. **

**Edward**

_**Fin de soirée**_

"Wow you're a good kisser." Megan moaned under her breath as we were making out. I had been so lucky to run into her again she wasn't a bad kisser herself.

"Do you want to go somewhere more…private?" She insinuated with a seductive voice. It was time to give my little speech.

"Well Megan before we do that you have to know…" She cut me off.

"You're Edward Cullen I know. No strings attached." She giggled as I kissed her neck. Girls really make it easy for me. She grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the exit. When we arrived outside I was quickly distracted from Megan by the scene going on before me.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jasper yelled. I barely had time to see my friend throwing a hell of a right hook in Emmett's face. Jasper angry was a rare thing to witness. Angry was an understatement; he was positively furious. He tried to hit Emmett again but missed.

"Edward stop him a minute." Bella screeched.

I reacted immediately and grabbed Jasper's arms before he could throw another one at Emmett.

"Jasper what's going on?" I asked still not understanding.

"He fucking kissed my sister." He barked in Emmett's direction. What? He's freaking engaged. Jasper and I exchanged a glance and I let go of him. We started moving together towards Emmett. How could he didn't he know Rosalie deserved respect? I would hit the bastard to death too. He was still holding his nose in pain. Then I saw it; the most frightening sight a man could ever come across. Rosalie. She looked so pissed; hands on her hips grimacing as she was ready to eat our heads off. We froze.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" She hissed coming closer. We both took a couples step back.

"Rose he's taking advantage of you." Jasper began but the death glare she gave him discouraged him to continue.

"I can kiss whoever I want Jasper but if you must know Emmett was telling me he was calling his wedding off." What? Seriously? The tension in our bodies fell flat.

"What?" Jasper breathed.

"You hit him while we were declaring ourselves Hale. And Cullen I better not catch you trying to hit my boyfriend again." She growled turning her attention back to her "boyfriend". Emmett burst in laughter so hard behind her it made everyone smile.

"Wow you're really one hell of a girl." He said as he kissed her forehead.

I smiled and searched for Megan. I was caught off guard by a punch in the stomach. I looked for the source of the pain. Bella.

"What was that? I asked you to stop him." She thundered. She hadn't hit so hard, the pain was long gone but I took the opportunity to have some fun. I winced and let out a cry of pain; falling to the floor. Her eyes widened.

"I'm sorry Edward I didn't mean for it to really hurt." Her worried look as she leaned over me was priceless. I stood straight in a flash.

"You always fall for it." I mocked. She tried to hit me again but I just caught her arms and held it over her head laughing.

"Calm down kitty." She fought against me a couple of more seconds but surrendered with a sigh. I had lost track of the conversation between Rose, Jasper and Emmett.

"So are we going or not." Megan asked impatiently. I let go of Bella.

"Yeah sure I'll show you my place." Bella gave me a disapproving look but I ignored it. Megan practically squealed when I parked the car in front of my house. It was pretty big; certainly the biggest house in Forks. It was at the end of the road where the forest began and large windows on one side offered a stunning view of the big trees. I usually prefer to go to the girl's apartment but we were so close to my house it would have been weird of me to ask. I do have a fake bedroom for these occasions. I don't really like anyone to disturb my stuff so I never let a stranger into my real bedroom. Carlisle insists that I keep living here until he comes back because he doesn't want the mansion to be a total waist but I'd rather live in a smaller place. Megan drew me back to reality.

"So which is your bedroom?" She asked seductively. I pointed in the right direction and let my instincts take over.

I woke up feeling like shit. I wasn't ready to get up but I had to. Megan was still fast asleep beside me and I frowned. Bella would be here soon and I rather not let Megan see her. Bella was always so oblivious of it but she drove all my girlfriends totally crazy with jealousy and she was often the reason I shortened a relationship. I wasn't a big fan of endless one night stand because it forced me to give the "not looking for a relationship" speech too often so I liked to keep a girl around for about a month. It was better on my conscience too. Bella would often wreck that by being there and awakening the girl's possessive side too early. So I'd learned to keep my sex friends away from my best friend. I took a quick shower. When I came back to the room Megan was stirring. She smile at me and patted the empty space beside her; inviting me.

"Sorry Meg I have important things to do today. I called a cab for you." She pouted. Why did I have to pick this day to bring a girl over?

"Please…" She trailed off but I shook my head.

"Fine I'm going." She dressed up quickly and looked a little angry. Maybe this one wouldn't last so long. She seemed to take my expression as a warning and softened her voice.

"I'm going skiing this week; call me next weekend." She gave me a quick peck on the lips and walked away. I heard the door closing and rejoiced. Bella was late and I was so grateful for that. I walked into the kitchen and froze. Bella smiled at me from the breakfast table; biting into an apple.

"Rough night ugh?" She teased as she took another bite. Damn.

"How long have you been here?"

"A while, saw your date leave; she looked unsettled to see me." She casually explained. Damn.

**Okay so if you feel generous review and my dreadful day of studying will be less ****painful:) Also next chapter is suppose to be Bella then Edward again and then Rose.**


	12. The right thing Bella

**Okay I want to talk about Edward. He is kind of a womanizer but I really want to point out that a "player" is usually a guy who tricks girl into bed with lies. Edward is no player. A 20 year old guy who isn't looking for a relationship and never lies about it isn't a bad guy. He doesn't sleep with girls saying he loves them and never calls them again. Some girls aren't looking for anything serious to happen either. **

**I'm sorry to have to say it but if the guy says he doesn't want a relationship and the girl sleeps with him expecting more, expecting "to change his ways" well let's just say don't come crying to me. **

**Bella and Edward aren't in love yet because ****I really want to explore their awesome friendship before something more happens but believe me when it happens it's going to be great and dramatic. I can't wait !!! **

**Playlist for Bella and Edward :Everything Lifehouse**

** Leave out all the rest Linkin Park**

**Please forgive me Brian Adams **

**Think twice Eve 6 **

**If I didn't have you Amanda Marshall**

Bella

_**Inquiétudes**_

I tiptoed into Edward's house fifteen minutes early; planning a major bed jumping to wake him up. I used my key to unlock the front door. I had a key to the manor since Edward's father death. I used to sneak in here every other night when my parents divorced. I went directly to his room. He wasn't in it. Then I remembered the girl he was with last night. I frowned. He didn't usually bring them back to his house the first night. *Well I suppose this girl is special.* But not that special; after all he wasn't using his real bedroom. So there would be no waking him up in a cruel manner. I decided to start on breakfast instead. I was often doing Edward's groceries with him so I could force him to cook once in a while. I got everything to make pancakes out of the cabinets and bit into an apple. Then I heard voices and footsteps.

"Hey Megan." I said casually as she was passing through the kitchen. She practically jumped.

"Hey." She answered uneasily. She glanced around with a frown on her face like she expected other people to appear.

"Sorry I startled you." I apologized. Obviously she wasn't happy to see me so I didn't push it. She nodded and we heard a taxi's honk from outside.

"Well see you later." She mumbled under her breath. When the door closed I heard Edward's footsteps coming towards me. He entered the kitchen totally oblivious to my presence and checked if Megan was gone.

"Rough night ugh?" I teased him. He looked surprised to see me.

"How long have you been here?"

"A while, saw your date leave; she looked unsettled to see me." I explained apologizing in advance for the questions she would probably ask him.

"Are you making pancakes?" He asked suddenly very interested.

"I am now come and help me."

We cooked together and ate. Afterwards we went shopping for things Alice would need and I decided we should decorate the house a little. It was the first time she would see the house she grew up in since the tragic circumstances that led to her departure and I wanted her to feel like home. We bought "Welcome home" banners and some other small things. Edward laughed at me saying it would look more like it was her birthday but I ignored him. We also got a lot of food and Edward protested. I insisted that his sister probably wouldn't want to visit every restaurant in town during her one week home and he made me promised I would be the one cooking. Getting everything ready and making supper took the rest of the day and it was almost eight when we finally sat in the living room wondering what to do next. I could feel Edward getting more nervous by the second. Now that everything around screamed of Alice's arrival I could see him freaking out.

"I need to go for a swim. Come with me." He tugged on my shirt.

"Okay but I won't go in. I'm barely going to stay for moral support… or in case you drown." I mocked him.

I went to changed into shorts while Edward was putting is bathing suit on. It was always summer in here and I knew Edward wouldn't resist splashing me.

"You're sure you don't want to swim with me?" He asked as we were heading towards the gigantic interior pool on the first floor.

"You're too good."

"It's not a competition Bells."

We argued until we reached the pool. As soon as he saw the calm water he forgot our conversation. He jumped into it gracefully. I hesitate between opening the lights or not but the moon was up high and it reflected on the water in such a pretty way I decided against it. I sat and let my legs fall into the warm water. I just watched him. Edward was a great swimmer. He claimed it was his way to stay in shape but I knew it was more than that. He needed to swim like he needed air and water. It was his way to forget about the world. I was absent-mindedly making circles with my leg in the water and watching it whirls around. Yes water could be calming. I lost track of time.

"Bella come swim with me." He pleaded loudly; startling me.

"No."

He swam dangerously close and splashed me a little. I scowled him. He did it again.

"Stop it." I commanded. He just chuckled.

"But Bells I want you to swim with me." He repeated childishly.

"Stop it or I'm going to wait for you upstairs." I threatened.

"Fine." He gave up; diving under water. I was surprised he gave up I was most of the time the one having to let him win. I started playing with the water again. Then I saw it but it came too fast for me to move. A human shadow. My legs being pulled on roughly. My body losing its balance. Two strong arms encircling my waist pulling me down. In a second I was under water… and very pissed. I surfaced and forced the water out of my eyes.

"You're dead Cullen." But he was at the far end of the pool now; his laugh echoing around.

"Relax Bells you always have a fresh set of clothes here."

"That's not the point." I got out and cursed. My hair would be wet all night.

I was dripping; even more then normal since I had been fully clothed. I grinned evilly; thinking of a plan.

"I'm going to make a mess everywhere and Alice will think you're sloppy." I started making my way into the kitchen; hoping I could make it upstairs and drip a little in Edward's precious bedroom before he would catch up with me. I tried to leave as much water on my way as I could manage. I was at the bottom of the stair when a big towel was wrapped around me.

"You know the housekeeper will be angry that you ruined her efforts." I glanced at him.

I may be immune to his charm but the sight of him all dripping; his bronze hair in disarray is still something. I am only a woman after all. I blushed at my own thoughts and turned away from him. We went upstairs and I dried myself up properly in the bathroom. I was still amazed that every single room had a private bathroom. It was insane. I peeked into Alice room as I was going to get sodas. It was so beautiful. I remembered how it was when we were young. Tinker Bells everywhere. Alice used to say it reminded her of me. I also remembered when Carlisle had asked Alice to redecorate it from England. He wanted her to feel welcome at home and not just sucked back into the past. I felt Edward's arms snake around me and he rested his head on my shoulder; not saying anything. We both knew what we were thinking there was no need for words

"Let's go watch a movie." I tried to lighten the mood. He nodded and followed me back into his bedroom. I know most people like to watch movies sitting in a couch but not us. Since we were little we liked to be in bed with a ton of pillows. I rested my head on his stomach; our bodies forming a "T". We watch a comedy but our heart weren't into it. We were anxious. Edward was probably sick with nervousness. Tomorrow he would see Alice for the first time in 4 years. When the credits came on I closed the TV. I noticed Edward tormented face.

"Don't worry." I said trying to soothe him.

"I'm going to screw it up Bells I can feel it." He croaked. I climbed onto him and locked my eyes with his.

"No you're not. You're ready." I said with confidence. I didn't believe that much in myself but I believed in him completely. *I know he can do this right.* He tried to avoid my stare.

"Edward Cullen I want you to look at me in the eye and listen to me. YOU ARE READY." I enunciated the words slowly. He was almost shaking under me.

"I don't want to mess it up again Bells." His voice was broken; he was truly scared and it was killing me.

"Edward you've grown so much since then."

"I don't know that I have. Not a single member of my family can look at me in the eye." He added bitterly. He hated himself for what had happened last time. It had even severed his relationship with Carlisle.

"You won't mess it up I promise." I could feel my eyes watering up. I hated seeing him so stranded.

"Bells I don't know what I would do without you." He buried his face in my hair; holding me down on him. I sighed sadly and he looked deep into my eyes.

"You're the only thing I've done right." A small smile appeared on his lips as he softly put strand of my hair back behind my ear.

"Tomorrow you'll do the right thing again." I insisted.

_I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared _

_But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared _

_After my dreaming, I woke with this fear _

_What am I leaving when I'm done here?_

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done _

_Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed_

**Christmas vacation leaves me so little time to write but school starts back January 5 sp be patient and HAPPY HOLIDAYS.**


	13. Hello Edward

**I'm back. Christmas vacation is too short for my taste lol.**** Happy New Year to all and thanks for the reviews I'm addicted. I'm so happy my story has 105 alerts and for me it's quite a big deal. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Edward**

_**Entre frère et soeur**_

I opened my eyes lazily. It was too early to be awake that I was sure of. Water was running in the bathroom. I closed my eyes again. I heard the bathroom door opening I peeked. Bella with only a towel around her was fumbling through her stuff with a frustrated look on her face. She found something and went back in the bathroom. After a few more opening and closing of my bathroom door I found myself unable to go back to sleep.

"Wake up Cullen." Bella said sitting on the bed while starting to brush her wet hair. I just groaned and closed my eyes again. My stomach was a big knot and my heart was already beating too fast. When I finally got up; I was very aware that every step I was taking was bringing me closer to Alice. Even if that fact was scaring the hell out of me as the minutes went by I began to feel more and more excited. I was felling sick but I liked it. It proved that my heart was still beating. I caught Bella staring at me a worried look on her face a couple of time but when we got into the car her quiet support changed into wild excitement. When we parked she was biting her nails god I hate it when she does that. We got to the airport just in time for the plane's arrival but Alice still needed to get her luggage and everything before she'd be with us. What if she had changed her mind and wasn't coming after all? What if she'd changed so much I wouldn't recognize her? What if she was still mad at me?

"I can't wait to see her." Bella admitted. She had made a little sign saying "Alice Cullen" like we see in the movies. She was so cute holding it so strongly I was surprise she didn't break it already.

"Me too."

We stood in silence staring intently at the gates. People started to come off. The knot in my stomach felt like a big brick by now. I caught a glimpse of a tiny girl behind the glass doors and stopped breathing altogether.

There she was. Just like I remembered. Short black pixie hair and soft features; the younger and living portrait of my mother. My tiny little sister.

She hurried gracefully towards us. Bella gasped.

"Wow." She murmured under her breath as she squeezed my hand.

Alice's smile grew bigger at every step. She practically jumped on Bella; leaving all her luggage to crash on the floor.

"Bella."

"Wow Bella you're beautiful."

"Look who's talking." Bella chuckled.

Then she turned to me and smiled. How much I had missed by keeping her out of my life. I was dark and gloomy. Alice was the sun impersonated.

"Edward. I've missed you." She solemnly stated. She reached up and hugged me.

"Now tell me EVERYTHING you two have been up too. Bella where do you live now?"

"I live in an apartment by the university with my roommate Rosalie."

Alice squealed.

"Oh my god we are going to have so much fun. We have to go shopping; and have a girl night out. Bella you don't know how good it feels to be here." Alice continued her rambling and Bella and I glanced at each other knowingly. She hadn't changed at all.

"Rosalie is dying to have a good shopping partner. She loves designer clothes." Bella added. Alice did the high pitch noise again.

"Bella you have to come with us." They continued girl talking as I call it and I guided them back to the car. Alice whistled playfully. Of course I had taken the fancy car to pick her up. I couldn't help smiling seeing them together.

"Bells you're still half a feet taller than Alice. It's like she forgot to grow up." I teased while I put her luggage in the trunk. My sister punched me in the stomach with her tiny little fist.

"Edward." She grimaced and I felt like it was an everyday thing. Big brother teasing his little sister.

"Edward grew up so fast he had to renew is entire wardrobe twice in the same year." Bella said. Alice giggled.

"Traitor." I gave her a nasty look and opened the driver door.

"Can I drive?" Alice asked hopefully.

"If you can drive on the right side of the road." I smirked giving her the keys.

We guided Alice to Bella's apartment. She'd claimed she had things to do before joining us but I knew it was only a pretext to leave us alone. We drove up to the house; Alice was fidgeting.

Her breath caught in her throat when she got out of the car; staring intently at the house before her. She let out a soft sigh. We walked to the door and I unlocked it. She looked at me and I saw the awful memories of her last days here reflecting deep into it.

_The little girl kept tugging on his shirt. He looked like a mess. No child should ever seem so desperate. He held the burden of a horrible secret._

"_Eddie what's going on; when is daddy coming back?" The little girl asked again with a broken smile. Couldn't this be just another game? She was the youngest and the older ones always seemed to play games she didn't understand. She didn't like this one though. She wanted her daddy to be with her again and Edward to stop acting so distant. The boy just continued to stare into space. Their mother came around the corner. The little girl gasped and ran into her arms. The young boy just turned away. _

"_Mom you're back!" She hadn't seen her mother for like seemed like an eternity. She began to laugh; the amazing surprise erasing the worry of her mind. No one else was happy though and no one would tell her what was going on._

"_When is dad coming home?" Her mother hugged her closely__ and sighed sadly._

"_Daddy is gone sweetie; the angels needed him in heaven." Her mom softly stated. Alice; as little as she was; understood very well what that meant. Her father was gone forever. A couple of days went by and she cried like she'd never cried before. People kept repeating how the "death" had been sudden. Edward held her hand almost the entire time but he always scowled her when she was hugging their mother. Carlisle seemed angry too. He was usually so happy with a big smile and stories to tell her. He fought with her mother a lot. One afternoon her mother came into the living room where Edward; the Swan kid and her daughter were trying to remember what it's like to be happy. Alice had her hand firmly placed in Edward's. Her mother sent Bella away and Alice asked her not to. Then their mother explained that Carlisle had insisted that he could take care of Edward and that he could stay here._

"_What about me?" Alice had asked quietly._

_Her mother answered that she was too young and that she would come with her to England. The little girl cried; begged her mother to move back so they could all stay together instead. She refused._

She held her hand out for me to take and I did. The rush of memories was excruciatingly painful; we needed each other. Just like we needed each other back then. All the other stuff that had happened between us didn't matter. I had no right to be angry at her for not staying with me since I hadn't asked to go with her. It dawned on me that I loved her deeply and no grudge should keep us apart. We had been separated by fate and there was no one to blame. She smiled up at me. Bella was right; everything would be alright.

Alice started on the supper before Bella arrived. She entered soon after holding a picture album in one hand and a grocery bag in the other. As soon as she joined us I felt like every part of my life was at last falling into place. We laughed and talked and it was like Alice had never left.

When we were done with the dishes we sat on the couch with a glass of wine and Bella went to fetch her big picture album.

"I hope this doesn't include picture of me during puberty." I claimed half joking. The girls laughed.

"Yes even some of you playing soccer." I groaned.

"Edward played soccer?" Alice asked doubtfully.

"Of course he did." She went straight to that page. There I was; in all my sweating glory with my big "Cullen" shirt.

"Believe it or not I love that shirt I stole it from him." Bella added mockingly.

We saw every period of our lives at the turn of each page. Bella was a picture freak. When we got to the newest pictures Alice screamed out loud.

"Oh my god. You live with Rosalie HALE?! I absolutely love her." She took the album and brought it closer to her face. Bella had the biggest question mark plastered on her face so Alice went on.

"She's a famous model." Alice stated like it was obvious. She got up and started walking in circles.

"Wow I'm going to go shopping with Rosalie HALE. Can we go see her right now?" I chuckled. Alice was totally losing it.

"Well she's spending the day with her brother they didn't get to see each other a lot the last few weeks. We'll probably hang out a lot with them the rest of the week." Bella explained.

Alice stopped dead in her tracks like she'd just realised something immensely important.

"You mean her brother Jasper Hale!?" Alice exploded. She literally started to jump up and down.

"He is sooooo gorgeous I can't believe you know Jasper Hale and you never told me."

It was so funny we started giggling and soon we were laughing so hard we were almost fighting for breath. Alice realized she'd sounded like a crazy groupie and joined us.

_I won't be made useless  
I won't be idle with despair  
I will gather myself around my faith  
For light does the darkness most fear_

_And heartache came to visit me  
But I knew it wasn't ever after_

_My hands are small I know_

_I am never broken_

_We are never broken  
In the end only kindness matters_

_**Hands-Jewel**_

**Soon, there will be a major time gap. I placed my characters almost exactly where I want them so the second half of their trimester is going to be cut short as well as the summer. I'm doing this because the real good stuff happens ****during their junior year and I think we are all impatient for it to happen. I'm thinking Alice- Rose- Emmett-Bella and then the end of the year. After that Edward-Bella-Rose-Bella to sum up the summer. Let me know what you think about that.**


	14. Attractions Alice

**Alice POV makes me really nervous because I love Alice and I****'ve never done it before. This chapter is really important for the story. I've been sick all week but I tried to make it up to you guys with a little bigger chapter. Hope you like it.**

**Alice**

_**La vie **__**c'est comme une boîte de choco**__**lat**_

We were still laughing our asses off at the way I'd freaked out about Jasper. But still the prospect of meeting Jasper Hale was huge. The Hale twins weren't that famous because they didn't do a lot of commercial stuff. They were mainly into my field of interest: haute couture. I was a fashion addicted and dreamed about starting my own line of clothes someday. Meeting them would be so fantastic. *Too bad Jasper is too old to hold interest in a little high school girl like me because he's so yummy I could eat him whole.* I thought as Bella and Edward fought over what movie we should watch. I was so ready to be done with high school; only a few months to go.

"I want to see the chick flick." I decided as I winked to Bella. She grinned.

"Having another woman around here sure makes it interesting." She smugly stated as she put in the DVD and sat back with us. Edward whined a little but accepted his inferiority. When we were little we used to have movie night in Edward's bedroom all tucked under the covers. Bella and I would scream when Edward made us watch horror movies. It seemed like such a long time ago and yet it felt right to be back here. I had a lot of friend back in England but it wasn't the same somehow.

Bella is so beautiful I'm actually surprise Edward didn't realise how lucky he is to still have her all to himself. I'd wished they would fall in love I guess my intuition was off in their case. But the more I saw them together on this special night back home the more I became certain they were meant to be. I normally would try to interfere but it's obvious they're not in that place…yet.

The next day I forced Bella into going shopping. She called Rosalie first; making sure she could come; hoping she wouldn't be free so that we could postpone it. Fortunately I'm always really lucky. We would make a day of it; all the clothes store in Seattle and then go out after. I'm aware that I'm not supposed to be of age to go out but I already have every false card I need. Most times it's not even an issue. I don't look exactly older but I'm so tiny people think they're misjudging my age.

"Please you're not going to let me alone with THEM?!" Bella pleaded Edward again. He wasn't coming with us now he would join us later tonight with Jasper. They'd decided to go to the hotel they usually went afterwards. Edward complained as a joke he'd have to get a bigger suite because we were 5.

Bella and I were at her apartment to pick up Rosalie at eleven. We got out of the car so Bella could introduce us. When she walked towards us I realised she was even more gorgeous than on her picture. I mean you expect a model to look good in a picture but Rosalie was as beautiful in person with almost no make up. I almost let out a nervous laugh.

"Hi I'm Rosalie." She smiled and held out her hand for me to shake.

"I'm Alice. I'm a big fan." I said a stupid groupie smile plastered on my face; grinning like a little girl. She seemed surprised at first and then flattered and I got the feeling she would become a great friend.

"Am I interrupting something?" Bella teased at my giddiness. We got in the car and talked the whole way. Rosalie was super cool. I was so happy. When we got to the store I actually dragged Bella into it physically and Rose was impressed.

"I may be little but I'm freakishly strong." I boasted. The whole afternoon went way too fast for my liking and around supper time Rose was almost as excited as me. I'd found a low profile store with amazing treasures in it.

"Oh my god Bella can't we keep this Cullen and send back the old model? I love her." Rose complimented as she bought about everything I hadn't. The saleswoman was so nice and I could see the money she'd make out of us reflecting in her eyes.

"Bella likes Edward too much." I teased.

"Maybe if she loved him all the way it'd be perfect." Rosalie whispered to me while Bella was distracted.

"Great minds think alike." I nodded to Rose.

"What's up girls?" Bella asked.

"Nothing." We both exclaimed loudly and started giggling.

"Are you both drunk?" She asked half scared.

"Drunk on sales girlfriend. I want to go shopping for outrageous outfit for tonight now."

"Me too." I agreed with Rose. We looked at each other and then back at Bella.

"No way; no crazy, sexy, weird clothes for me." She blurted out already seeing her doom coming her way.

"Oh yes Swan. You're not up to a fight against us." I grabbed Rose by the waist and we walked threateningly towards Bella.

We all got fabulous clothes and got ready. When it was time to show Bella what we'd got for her she was very nervous.

We eventually forced her into something Rosalie called "most revealing ever". It was a mini micro skirt and a dark blue top shoving cleavage. She looked terrific. Bella shrieked when she saw herself.

"Girls no way. NO WAY." She freaked out. Rose sighed in defeat. I decided to use my most deadly weapon. I pouted dramatically.

"Bells please wear it at least until we meet up with the guys. Then if you're still uncomfortable I'll let you change." Rosalie stared at me with eyes wide open as Bella weakly accepted to wear the clothes because well… no one can say no to me.

"God you're my hero." Rose said as she pulled me into a tight hug. Bella got a text message from Edward saying they were running late and would meet us at the club so we went ahead. It was a cool place filled with people. There were tables in the back away from the loud music and I thought it would be a good place to talk. But before; we had to hit the dance floor. We attracted much attention the guys were practically drooling over us. I could tell Bella was dying to change but she loosened up when she started to dance. She was surprisingly good at this which I would have never thought. Rose and I flirted a little with cute guys and she hugged me again. I could see we were quickly becoming the centerpiece of every guy's fantasy. We took a break and I decided to get a drink. Rose screamed over the music she was going outside with Bella for a moment and I nodded. They wanted to call the guys to ask them if they were going to show soon.

I was really nervous about meeting Jasper I had almost stared at Rosalie like a love struck teenager I didn't want to imagine how I would be in front of him. Surely I would embarrass myself. The girls were taking a long time to come back. I glanced around to see if I could see them. In a moment my world shifted. In all my life; I'd never felt something as powerful as the way I felt attracted towards Jasper Hale who was also glancing around. In a mere instant it felt painful to be physically away from him. He stared back at me from across the room; our eyes locking. The girls were not around but now I wished they wouldn't be for a long, long time. He walked towards me; his intense gaze making my heart beat at an incredible speed. I wanted to act cool but I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. When he was close he held out a hand and barely touched me like he wanted to see if I was real. I was very real; and very sweaty. My breathing was ragged and my senses all into overdrive. Edward chose this moment to ruin everything.

"Wow Jazz you're good you never even met her. Alice; meet my friend Jasper Hale. Jasper my little baby sister Alice."

I don't know what was worse; seeing Jasper's expression turned into the biggest frown I've ever seen or understanding I would never have him. It hurt to see his features switch from frown to surprise to genuine CASUAL interest in the "baby sister".

"Nice to meet you." His voice was perfect. I shook his hand and my mouth actually watered at the sight of his abs moving under his shirt.

"Yes." I simply answered.

"Hey Jazz." Bella and Rose greeted as they arrived near us. Edward gasped when he recognize Bella. I recovered a little and grinned. I was proud of our work. Nobody else was paying attention but I saw him stare at places he shouldn't have as a best friend. His eyes were everywhere on her but his hungry look turned into guilt when he crossed my gaze and saw he was busted. I saw Jasper also staring and it stung.

"Should we go get a table for now?" Edward asked. We all agreed but my voice was weird. Rose looked at me and then at Jasper. During the entire first hour she watched us both and I blushed furiously. I couldn't look at Jasper to see what he was doing when he wasn't talking. I stayed awfully quiet.

Later Edward, Bella and Rose went dancing but Jasper stayed with me.

"So you're in high school?" He asked like he didn't want it to be true.

"Yes." I felt the attraction was back. I ached to touch him.

"You're a senior right?"

"Yes." The awkward conversation continued but I didn't really pay attention to it. I was mesmerized by his face. His eyes were the brightest blue. His hair was surreal. I wanted to run my finger into it. The others came back too soon. Rosalie was smiling wickedly.

"Edward I really love you're sister." She said.

"Yes she's almost as cool as me." He joked.

"No I mean you're lucky she's your sister. I would love to have her as a sister. Hey I have a wild idea. Maybe she could be my sister-in-law." Rose implied bringing a big red blush to my cheeks. It looked like an inoffensive joke but I knew she was watching our reaction.

"Ew Rose it's gross Jasper is way too old for her." Edward exclaimed; already overprotective of his sister. Poor little me. It was like an ice shower had felt unto my shoulders. Jasper smile disappeared. I wanted to evaporate into thin air. Rose saw it and I could see she hadn't anticipated such a reaction from Edward. She decided to turn into an angel and said the only thing able to drag the attention away from me.

"I bet Bella could be her sister-in-law." She smugly stated staring directly into Edward's eyes. To my surprise; he blushed almost as red as me. Maybe he wasn't as dense as I thought.

**AN The next scene doesn't fit with the rest but it's important and ****I didn't want to do another chapter just for it. **

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Later that week_

I was alone with Edward at home. The week had gone so well. Aside from my futile attraction to Jasper I felt there was nothing left unsaid between us. I wasn't the type to be unsure about things so it was pretty hard to ask a question I had no idea what the answer would be.

"Edward I have a big favor to ask you." I managed to get out. Maybe it was too soon; maybe I was pushing it but this wonderful week gave me the courage to take a chance. He looked at me knowingly. He thought he knew perfectly well what I was going to ask but he had no clue of the specifics.

"Go ahead."

"Well… Mom and I always planned to take a trip for my eighteen birthday. A big trip. Across Europe and maybe Australia. I want you to come." I just blurted out so nervous he was going to refuse. He tried to hide it but I could see he wasn't too thrilled.

"When?"

"This summer; from may to august." Immediately I saw the surprise dawned on his face but he didn't seem angry.

"Mom is only free in June so I thought we could start off just the two of us." I trailed off; hoping he would get how important it was for me. I felt like after this trip; our family would be whole again. It had always been my dream to do it with my brother.

TBC

**So ? Questions? Comments?**


	15. Traps and decisions Edward

**Thanks for all the reviews I really loved it and a special thank you to pixiecullen who wrote an absolutely delightful EPOV of last chapter. I want to update more often I'm really trying but so far it's not working. I also want to say that I'm really not done with this story and so Bella and Edward won't be together in a few chapters. But be patient I can assure you it's worth the wait. Maybe some of you will be surprised that it's EPOV again but I decided to concentrate my efforts on Bella's and Edward's POV with occasionally one by Rose or Alice. Why? Well because I want to get to my favourite part faster. Read and review I love your comments and questions. : ) **

**Edward**

_**Leçons de piano**_

I let the music course through me; not trying to control it but going along with it. It was usually how I managed to compose but tonight I was upset. The girls were sleeping upstairs exhausted from all the girly talk but I couldn't find rest. Alice's offer had brought up a lot of unwelcome feeling. Feelings I'd been burying for a while. I'd promised to make peace with my mom and I seemed like the perfect way to do it. I knew myself and Alice was right to think I wouldn't come to terms with everything in a week or two. But still an entire summer was a big amount of time away from home; away from Bella. She couldn't come with us I knew that after all, this trip was about reconnecting with my family. And she had her job; her book and she'd just accepted to tutor some exchange student; a girl from France or something. So she had a lot awaiting her in Forks. I let the music filled my soul and it started to be good. My worse problem was actually to remember what I played I was so caught up in my thoughts.

"Why so sad." Bella's voice came from right beside me and I felt her gentle hand on my arm. It was time to tell her. To ask her advice. But she would be hurt and I didn't want to cause her pain. But it felt like this trip was the right thing to do. I went straight to the point.

"Alice talked to me about when I would see my mom."

She was expecting it so she nodded. She stayed silent; waiting for me to open up.

"Bells Alice wants me to go with them on a trip she was planning for her birthday." Bella's face lit up.

"It's a wonderful idea; a different setting than last time and everyone on neutral ground."

"Yes wonderful idea only the trip is supposed to last all summer. One month just the two of us and then my mother will join us." I saw her face close up immediately. She put on a smile but this time it didn't feel like she meant it.

"She knows you well you need time." I could see the surprise and the apprehension behind her brave façade. She was really trying to ignore the fact that it meant she'd be alone here all summer. But she kept on smiling because she felt it was the right thing to do. That's how generous she is she will never admit to be hurt because she puts other people's happiness first. Like she had done when her mother had remarried and had moved to California. She hadn't complained a bit.

"I didn't give her my answer I'm still going to think about it." I explained. She smiled again and went back to bed.

The next morning I was really tired.

"Who wants waffles I'm starving." The ogre pixie chanted in front of my room waking me up and I groaned. But it was her last day here so I had to get up. I crossed path with Bella on my way downstairs and she looked as spent as me. I felt guilty for it.

After breakfast Bella asked Alice what she wanted to do on her last day already dreading the obvious answer. Alice had talked about it all week. She wanted to go shopping again before her departure and Bella didn't feel she could let her down.

"Come with us." She begged me as they were ready to leave.

"No way." I stated remembering Alice's look when she'd talk about going to Seattle again. I could literally see the painful hours of waiting around she had in store for Bella.

"You have to come Rose isn't coming I'll be alone with her." Bella looked positively frightened and I laughed.

"She's not that scary Bells; I'll join you guys for supper." I assured her. She sighed.

"You're not leaving me any other choices." She got the BFFF card out of her purse and out it into my hand half victorious half resentful.

"No Bells I told you I didn't want to go please don't force me." I was now the one pleading her. I looked deep into her eyes trying to see how serious she was about this. Her determination didn't falter so I gave up. She smiled and gave me a hug. I knew she was upset about the probable all summer long trip but she still tried to hide it. For my sake of course she wanted me to feel that I didn't need to stay for her; that she would be alright. The truth is I'm more worried about me. I don't know how to be Edward without her. I'm usually a devil when she's not around. I was lost in my thought as we drove; even more so when we started going from shop to shop. When I felt like Alice would stay long in the one we'd just entered I excuse myself from the girls and took a little walk. I needed to get through Bella's mask and see what she was really thinking. I figured out a way to do it and went back to the store.

"Where were you?" Bella practically jumped on me. She looked beyond scared. I looked at Alice. She had a bunch of clothes in her hands but it seemed like the right amount.

"What's wrong? She probably buys that much every time."

"Alice has more clothes in her hands than I own in total and; it's **for me**." She hissed; using me as a human shield against my sister.

"Come on Bella I really want you to try this on. Bring Edward he'll be our judge." She innocently asked. With a glance at Alice's evil look I got it. Alice had scared Bella on purpose so she would ask me to come. She wanted me there; and even if I wanted to pretend like I didn't know why I couldn't lie to myself. It was because of the night at the club. I had let my thoughts get out of control for a mere second and I was now paying the price. Yes; Bella was dressed **way** sexier than usual. Yes; I'd looked and yes; I felt guilty about it at the time but what is the big deal? Bella is my best friend and I realise that she is really pretty but that doesn't mean anything is ever going to change between us. We're just friends.

If she thought I would fall into her unsubtle trap she was in for a surprise. The other night I'd been taken by surprise. I smirked and sat in front of the changing booth. She actually had a lot of clothes to try on herself so they started parading in front of me. The first few outfits were Bella's usual style. I nodded or smiled a couple of times. I frowned at everything Alice showed me for herself but she quickly realised I was messing with her. As the outfit became bolder I just continued my routine and I could see Alice was surprised. She was really out of her mind if she thought I would see Bella differently just because I could see more skin. In all frankness I'd seen Bella in almost next to nothing throughout my life. Often by mistake I admit. Alice was disappointed but at the last item I couldn't keep my face straight. They came out both wearing prom dresses. And that was something new. It fitted her so perfectly I couldn't remember seeing her wearing something so perfect for her ever. That dress was made for Bella. I don't know much about dresses but it was a dark blue with little white beads thingy reflecting light and it was simply mesmerizing.

"I'm wearing the dress; happy?" Bella asked almost bored. Alice was too caught up into it herself to watch my reaction.

"Bella it's… perfect. You have to buy it" She breathed and I nodded.

"It's a dress for a ball or something fancy like that when will I ever go to a ball?" She sarcastically said.

"I'll throw a ball in your honour if you don't buy the dress." I said as a joke. She looked at me like I had backstabbed her.

"You're on her side? Oh my god."

"On the contrary you should realise that if I like it so much you must look really gorgeous." I went behind her and forced her to look into the mirror. She gasped when she saw herself. I took her brown curls into my hands and held it up for her to get a good look at herself. I slowly rubbed her neck with my other hand trying to ease her. I gave her a minute to take it in. Letting her soft hair fall back down I leaned and whispered in her ear.

"Damn Bells you're a girl." I murmured playfully. She smacked me teasingly and I let go of her. She went to change back. Alice was gathering her things and gave me an apologetic look for the trap she'd set.

A loud shriek echoed from the booth and Bella came out her face all flustered.

"Have you seen how insanely expensive it is?" She pointed an accusatory finger at Alice. I gave her an alarmed look. She'd let Bella see the price it would be even harder than I thought. Alice grabbed the dress and looked at me.

"Restrain her I'm going to the cash register." She ordered and I quickly grabbed Bella who was trying to go after Alice. She struggled.

"I don't care Edward I'm not going to wear that it's insane."

"Then calm down and let Alice buy the dress." She continued to squirm against my hold. We bickered some more and I couldn't help but laugh at her angry frown. She became angrier as I laughed.

"Let me go Edward." She ordered but I didn't listen.

I freed one of my hands and started tickling her. I knew no matter how mad at me she was she wouldn't be able to keep from smiling. I was right. She was soon battling me to get revenge and had forgotten about Alice and the dress. After a couple of minute of giggles and fighting we were both fighting for breath so I let her go but she tightened her hold on me. I stopped and looked at her big brown eyes. She was sad.

"Man it's going to hurt while you're gone." She just said. And I understood. In this sentence there was everything. I needed to go but I didn't want to be away from her and she felt the same. I rested my forehead against hers happy she was letting me in.

"Yeah it will; but I'll be back. Best friends forever right?"

"Right." She smiled.

_I like to go to the mall  
and walk around with you_

_laughing out loud  
__don't care who we see  
what they say  
you and me_

_we'll be ok_

_I tell you what I don't tell anyone else  
just having you here  
helps me_

**So??**


	16. Countdown and wake up calls Bella

**Ok major time gap here people. **

Bella

_**Être quelqu'un d'autre? **_

"Call me if there is any problem Bella." Mrs. Cooper repeated as I handed in my final essay.

"I will."

It was time to go home now. The semester is over and I feel torn between relief and total denial. Edward is leaving in four days and it's insane to think he's going to be gone for 15 weeks. We never spent more than a week and a half away from each other. Not only he's going but when you're traveling across Europe you don't really have a lot of opportunities to call. I don't expect much more than the occasional e-mail and Alice's postcards. She promised to send a whole lot. When Edward had talked to me about this trip I'd been really freaked out and even tough I would like to say that I'm completely okay about it now I'm not. Rose and Jasper are leaving for New York in two weeks and after that I'll be completely alone here. Well not completely. My French teacher asked me to tutor a new student. He moved to France when he was 14 and now he's coming back to the US to study English literature. Like me. English is his first language but from what my teacher told me he needs to make sure he'll managed to keep up with us. He's name is Julian. Funny story. Edward made a huge fool of himself when I told him about this because he thought "Julian" was actually "Julianne" and asked if he could ask out my "protégé". We laughed so hard and well we all still tease him about it.

Rose is excited to leave for New York but with all that happened with Emmett she's not as thrilled to leave as last year. Emmett's father didn't accept his son's decision easily. He tried to convince him to think it through and kind of forced him to finish his trimester in San Francisco. Rose understood but she said; quote: "I'm not going to hold my life back for six months." And "I'm not the long distance type." So those two are in a weird zone between being actually together and being friends and I don't understand how it's better for them to be in between. I think Rose is just frightened he'll change is mind. If he does I'll kick his ass personally.

I'd decided to walk today because the weather was so nice. Sun is a rare treat in Forks and everyone seemed to be hanging out in the streets. It was actually dry and warm. What an odd feeling in Washington. *I bet there'll be plenty of sun for Edward this summer.* I'm trying to stop my thoughts when they follow that trail but it's just so hard. The annoying voice in my head keeps chanting "Edward is leaving; Edward is leaving; Edward is leaving." Damn; I can feel the tears coming. I'm so freaking emotional when it comes to this and I hate it.

"Earth to Bella." I jumped when I spot Edward's convertible two feet from me.

"What are you doing?" I asked trying to hide that I was crying.

"What does it look like I'm doing I'm on my way to pick you up so we can celebrate."

"Yeah celebrate." My voice came up a bit off but not as bad as I thought.

"Nerd." He teased me as I opened the car door and sat beside him.

"Show off." I teased back pointing to the car.

"Brighten up beautiful this car only has a few days of glory each year." He defended himself.

"Yes and even less this year…" I trailed off regretting it immediately. Edward shrugged my comment off. I know he's even more nervous than I am.

"Only two years to go before we graduate." He stated smiling at me. We stopped at a red light and I noticed everyone was staring at us. The boys at the car and the girls at my handsome god like best friend. I groaned.

"I hate that car." Edward laughed.

We were hanging outside Edward's house all afternoon. It had a wonderful patio with a Jacuzzi and everything and given the exceptionally great weather Edward's end of the year party would be held outside. I would rather have done something just the four of us but Jasper was looking forward to this and since he'd just graduated I didn't want to ruin his last college party. Jasper was happy to be done with school and was looking forward to teach next year but as an assistant professor he wouldn't be allowed to attend to college parties.

"Bella you should be forbidden to wear sweats when it's so warm outside." Rosalie told me as she came back from the bathroom in only a red bikini.

"Yeah maybe but you're going to freeze to death in that thing." She grimaced and went over to the Jacuzzi.

"I need to relax. Where did the boys go?" She asked as she sank into the water.

"Don't know."

"Well I want to get as much time in this delicious waters as I can before drunken people starts showing up." I nodded. This party would be way too wild for me as it was every year. Last year I had barely stayed two hours. I didn't know why Edward insisted on having it every year.

"So how are you holding up sweetie?" Rose asked in her motherly tone. She was worried about me.

"I'm okay." I didn't matter trying t sound better than okay.

"You know I'll come back if I hear that you're not going out of that dusty library." She sweetly teased me.

"I won't make any promises." I mocked her. She frowned.

"Seriously Bella go out and have fun; who knows maybe something will spark up between you and that Julian guy."

"I doubt it."

"I'm just saying with Edward out of the way you could meet a guy." She innocently stated.

"What do you mean "with Edward out of the way"?" I asked really not getting her point.

"Don't be so blind Bella most guy are intimidated by Edward."

"You mean most guys aren't interested by me." I clarified. Rose snapped.

"No I mean that they think you're **taken**." She insisted on the word taken. I gave her a puzzled look.

"They think you two are doing it." I gasped.

"Who?"

"Everyone."

"No way."

"Why do you think Megan made such a scene when Edward broke up with her? She was insanely jealous of you."

"Why?" I was now more puzzled than ever.

"Just believe me when I say your dating opportunities will be way better with Edward away in Europe. Maybe it will be good for you." I couldn't believe she was telling me that I would be better off without my best friend.

"He's not holding me back from dating if that's what you're implying. I just never met a guy worth the trouble."

"Bella I take it you're not aware of your nickname?" She asked me.

"I have a nickname?" I wasn't aware that I had a nickname. What could it be? Popular people in high school had nicknames. Some in college like Rosalie and Edward had nicknames. Rosalie was "The top model" since her first year because she was so beautiful plus she actually was a top model. But me; I was so low profile how could I get a nickname.

"Yes you have and a very famous one."

"What is it?" She seemed to be torn whether or not to tell me.

"Sweetie I think it's best if you figure it out on your own." Rose shook her head like I was so naïve it annoyed her. I tried to convince her to tell me but she ignored me. It bothered me that she wouldn't tell me. I didn't want to ask Jasper or Edward; if they didn't know I didn't want to make them curious about it. Some time during the party I spotted Mike Newton talking to a bunch of girls and realized he was the perfect candidate. I went beside him.

"Hey Mike." He almost choked on his drink. I admit that I was usually avoiding him.

"Hey Bella." A bright smile appeared on his face and I felt guilty.

"So Mike Rosalie made a bet with me that people don't really call her "the top model" at school." I smiled again encouraging him to talk.

"Well she's wrong everyone calls her that." Mike proudly stated happy that his answer was making me win.

"Do people really use my nickname when they talk about me?" I asked trying to get the information without actually asking for it.

"Afraid so." Mike was now less enthused I wondered why. Was it so horrible? I stayed silent for a moment.

"So are you really?" He asked in a whisper. I was lost.

"Am I what?"

"His girl?"

"What?"

"Are you really "Cullen's girl"" He made the air quote and everything and I suddenly felt weird.

"No of course not." I quickly answered but before he could start coming onto me I escaped. I went upstairs; straight to Edward's room. I couldn't believe Rose was right and every guy knew me as "Cullen's girl". *Does Edward know?* I asked myself but I realised he wouldn't think twice about it even if he knew. We were just friend and that was really all I wanted from him but would I be known all my life as someone else's girl?

**I need reviews for this chapter I'm really insecur****e about it I just thought Bella needed a push towards dating other people while Edward's gone. **

**Okay this is a**** companion piece to Bella's chapter it's Rose POV during their girl talk. **

**Rosalie**** – Tough love**

I was quickly changing to my favourite bikini. I wanted to enjoy the Jacuzzi while I still could. When I got outside I noticed Bella was still on her stomach reading some dusty book instead of changing like I'd asked her.

"Bella you should be forbidden to wear sweats when it's so warm outside." I sighed as I took in her appearance.

"Yeah maybe but you're going to freeze to death in that thing." I ignored her and went to the Jacuzzi. God my sore muscles needed this. I'd spent all week in the garage trying to get as much time with my baby as I could before the summer vacation began.

"I need to relax. Where did the boys go?" I let myself sink into the warm waters. God it was perfect.

"Don't know."

"Well I want to get as much time in this delicious waters as I can before drunken people starts showing up." I didn't want to go to this party I was exhausted but my brother was so excited about it he would kill me if I left before midnight. I looked at Bella. She was reading but I could see the crease in her forehead indicating that she was also thinking about our departures. Edward's trip was the most hard on her. I wasn't hurt to admit she needed him way more than she needed me. Alice was determined that they were meant to be. I love Alice we call each other about once a week to discuss fashion and other things. She has some wicked plans to try to get them to realise they are made for each other but I'm not as convinced it's going to work. What worries me now is that Bella seems to be getting quieter and quieter and I fear that she'll end up spending all summer alone.

"So how are you holding up sweetie?" I decided to ask.

"I'm okay." She was okay but just okay.

"You know I'll come back if I hear that you're not going out of that dusty library." I said to make her smile.

"I won't make any promises." I frowned.

"Seriously Bella go out and have fun; who knows maybe something will spark up between you and that Julian guy." The idea had been in my head for quite some time now. Bella was so into romantic novels maybe she would let this stranger from a foreign country ask her out. I knew he would be interested by her. Every boy in his right mind was.

"I doubt it."

"I'm just saying with Edward out of the way you could meet a guy." As soon as the words were out I wished I'd kept my mouth shut. Bella was so blind when it came to boys.

"What do you mean "with Edward out of the way"?" Yes she really didn't get it.

"Don't be so blind Bella most guy are intimidated by Edward." I tried carefully to explain. This was dangerous territory. Bella hated to hear that Edward was holding her back from dating.

"You mean most guys aren't interested by me." God she was really blind. I snapped.

"No I mean that they think you're **taken**." She just looked at me with wide eyes. I love that girl but sometimes she's really too naïve for my taste.

"They think you two are doing it."

"Who?"

"Everyone."

"No way."

"Why do you think Megan made such a scene when Edward broke up with her? She was insanely jealous of you." Here comes the tough love.

"Why?"

"Just believe me when I say your dating opportunities will be way better with Edward away in Europe. Maybe it will be good for you." I couldn't believe I was telling her that she was going to freak out on me.

"He's not holding me back from dating if that's what you're implying. I just never met a guy worth the trouble." She really thought he wasn't holding her back. I was torn between ending this conversation right now and avoid her glare or giving her the wake up call I'd been avoiding since I'd met her.

"Bella I take it you're not aware of your nickname?" It was a miracle that she hadn't heard it already everyone used it when they talked about her it was practically her second name.

"I have a nickname?" Poor Bella.

"Yes you have and a very famous one."

"What is it?" I got a wicked idea. Now that she was curious about it maybe I didn't have to tell her. Maybe if she heard it for herself she would realise why boys weren't hitting on her; except for Mike of course.

"Sweetie I think it's best if you figure it out on your own."


	17. Goodbye Edward

**Wow the last chapter was better than I thought thanks for your amazing reviews. ****Sorry again for the wait but I had a big exam. Went well ;) **

**Edward**

_**Partir c'est mourir un peu**_

I opened my eyes lazily to find Bella still in deep slumber snuggling me. It felt nice. I had to enjoy it while it lasted. Today was THE day and our last night hanging out had been even harder than I'd anticipated. I was nervous and excited and scared out of my mind at the same time. Tomorrow I would be meeting Alice in Portugal to begin our journey and it felt unreal. I watch Bella's chest going up and down; so calm and peaceful. I glanced around my bedroom and saw my two bags in the corner. I didn't want to bring a lot with me; Alice had already warned me we would be shopping a lot.

This week I had been working on a secret project; a gift for Bella and it still wasn't ready.

I sneaked out of bed and went to my computer. The last day of school Bella had talked about having trouble sleeping and this melody had started to play in my mind and just didn't want to get out of my head. So I'd played it and fixed it and just yesterday I'd recorded it on my computer. I wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret if Bella hadn't had to start working early. I still needed to burn it and find a title. Once it was done I put it in a CD case; wrote a note and hid it in her bag. She would get it tonight and I knew it would make her smile. I open the drapes. My bedroom wall is more like a huge window than a wall so sun flew into the room. I went to sit beside Bells and gently woke her. Rose and Jasper would be here any minute for breakfast. They wanted to say goodbye before I left and Rose secretly didn't want Bella to be alone when I would leave. I was taking a taxi to the airport. She opened her eyes slowly and smiled. The sun was playing with her face. My heart fell into my chest. Saying goodbye would be the hardest thing.

"Hey." She softly said; her voice all groggy with sleep.

"Hey." I answered.

"What time is it?"

"Time to get ready." I said; she groaned and I couldn't repress a laugh. It was like our roles were reversed. She put the covers back on her head. I knew it wasn't entirely because she felt sleepy. She didn't want this day to happen and to be honest I was still toying with the idea of going back under the covers myself and pretend it was just a dream. I heard Rose's knock on the door. No such luck.

"Come on get your cute ass out of bed." I teased her while I traded yesterday's t-shirt for a brand new button down long sleeve one and went downstairs to greet my friends. I opened the door and helped Jasper with the grocery.

"Are we having breakfast or are we expecting a nuclear war?" I mocked Rose's insane amount of food.

"Bella say to bring a lot."

"Are you two girls planning on making me too heavy to get on the plane?" I teased.

"Are you crazy we'll finally be free or your smart-ass remarks." Rose teased back. Jasper excused himself to the restroom and Rose gave me a grave look.

"Did she talk to you about the nickname thing." Rose asked her voice filled with worry.

"Yes; she took it pretty badly; like it meant she was worth less than me. It's silly; just a handful of stupid rumours." I could feel my temper rising. How Bella could let herself be saddened by such stupid gossip. We both knew we weren't fuck buddies or whatever the hell they call it these days.

"I guess." Rose sighed.

I was so annoyed by that incident. I thought Bella had already heard that nickname long ago. *Screw them all.* They could say what they wanted. What we have is too incredible to be disturbed by gossip. She is maybe known as "my girl" but if that's true than I'm hers too. I don't expect outsiders to understand our friendship it's rooted in our very souls and nothing could ever shatter it. If that nickname makes her sad I'll make it go away. As far as I'm concerned; if it helps avoiding trouble with the idiots who might think they're good enough for her I'm happy. Why should anything change? The thought of coming back to a different life frightened me. Bella's voice brought me back to reality. The girls started cooking quickly. Jasper reappeared twenty minutes later a big smile on his face.

"So what are we cooking?"

"I guess by "we" you mean Bella and I because you haven't been helpful at all." Rose snickered.

"No fair Edward is not helping either." He whined.

"It his going away party; go to Europe and I'll cook you breakfast. And by the way don't you think I don't know what you really disappeared for." Jasper mumbled and Bella and Rose exchanged murmurs and started giggling. I was clearly missing something.

"What's so funny?" I asked while I stole a bit of cheese from Bella's plate.

"Nothing." She lied looking funny. I could tell there was something going on but I didn't push it. Girls.

Time flew by and before I knew it we were outside waiting for the cab. Everyone was staring at me. Jasper decided to brake the ice.

"See ya Cullen." Jasper gave me a quick man hug and I moved to Rosalie.

"Goodbye Edward. I'm going to miss you even if you're a pain in the ass." Rose stated playfully. I heard the cab pull into the driveway and stared at my best friend.

"Take care beautiful. You better be in one piece when I come back." I teased her but my voice broke at the end.

"Promise."

I took her in my arms for one last time and it seemed wrong for us to be apart. We were a team; always been. How was I going to go fifteen weeks without her? She held tight like she didn't want to say goodbye either. I breathed her scent in; trying to imprint it in my mind.

"Don't do anything stupid yourself." She ordered playfully as she let me go. I could see the tears forming in her eyes; threatening to fall any minute now. She crossed her arms around her and motioned me to go on.

"Goodbye Bells."

She smiled weakly.

"See you soon Cullen." I didn't want to go but lingering here was far too painful so I got in the cab.

When I opened my bag in the plane to get my book I saw something weird holding the page. There was a big post-it.

_**Edward; don't forget us when you're famous.**_

_**The doubles are for Alice**_

**_Miss you. Bells_.**

Under the note were pictures. The first one took my breath away. Rose had taken it during our trip to the beach last summer but I'd never seen it. We weren't looking at the camera directly but I could see from our faces that we were immensely happy. The other one was of Rose and Jasper from our last diner party they looked like the models they were. I smiled. I guess I wasn't the only one hiding gifts.

_If you go away as I know you will_

_You must tell the world to stop turning_

_Till you return again, if you ever do_

_For good is love without loving you?_

_Can I tell you now as you turn to go_

_I'll be dying slowly till the next hello_

_ -If you go away_

**So??**


	18. Alone? Bella

**Short chapter. **

**Ok ****so I realized I didn't even knew for sure how old they all were so I went back in the first chapters and checked (lol pure me I changed my mind so many times can't remember) so now loud and clear and I apologized if I made a mistake before. Please point it out so I can fix it. **

**Bella : 21 birthday in autumn **

**Edward : just turned 21 **

**Rose : 20 birthday in July **

**Jasper : 24 birthday in December **

**Alice : 17 soon to be 18 birthday in June**

Bella

_**Seule au monde**__**?**_

3 weeks… 3 freaking weeks and I was already going insane. Rose had kept me busy during the first but she was long gone now and I felt like a dog trying to catch its own tail. I woke up every morning; alone. Drank my coffee; alone. I'd always considered myself kind of a loner but I now understood that even if I liked to lock myself up in my bedroom and read I also liked having some other option. I was bored out of my mind. Reality held nothing fun anymore. I'd read about 8 books these last two weeks. I'd received a couple of emails from Edward; telling me how different Spain and Portugal were from the US and how he wished I could be there. I'd also received my 2 first postcards from Alice. Rose was calling me every two days like she feared I would let myself die of hunger or something. I had to give that to my friends; they were pretty serious about making me feel like I wasn't alone. But I was. And the fact that I knew it wasn't going to get better for 12 more weeks didn't help. Damn I could feel the stupid tears coming up again. I was at work I didn't need this. I bit my lip trying to keep it in.

Even if I'm an emotional wreck I still love my job. I help the few students with their summer course and I sort the new books when they arrive. But the most wonderful thing about this place is that most of the time I'm alone with the silence that can only exist in a library. I have books and a computer to type my ideas. I've been trying to write my first story for ages. I'd always seemed to be too distracted and ended up starting over. Not this year. This summer this book and this library were my only distractions. I also had my tutoring but it only started in a week.

I have all these ideas for romance novels but somehow it's hard to write about something you know nothing about. All the books I read helped, but I'd never dated anyone seriously and I think it showed. So I'd decided to expand my horizon and was currently reading Dracula. It was hard to stop. Maybe my future would reside in action novels.

It was about 8:30 and I had an immense pile of books to sort before ten. I decided I would try to bring about ten books at a time to go back to mine as soon as possible but I should've known it wasn't such a good idea. After about three footsteps I tripped over my own feet and ended on my butt with a big thud. I groaned under my breath. I was so sick of being clumsy.

"Let me help you." A melodic voice offered. I looked up to see a guy I've never seen before. He was tall. His hair was a natural dark brown I didn't think existed. He offered me his hand and I took it. After helping me up he began gathering my dropped books. We managed to put them all back on the counter in a minute. I still hadn't said a word.

"Thanks."

"Any time." He smiled. His smile was warm. As were his eyes; they were the richest brown I'd ever seen. Yep this guy definitely wasn't from around here. No one in Washington had genes like this. I guess I must have spent a little too much time looking at him because he chuckled and I turned completely red.

"You're new here aren't you?" I asked trying to recover.

"Yes I am and everyone looks at me like you just did." He smiled again. I felt my embarrassment melt away.

"I'm Julian Leclerc." It took about three second to my brain to process that.

"You're the exchange student from France?" He frowned. I guess he wasn't used to small towns.

"In the flesh." He joked.

"I'm Bella. Mrs. Cooper told me you were arriving next week." His face lit up and before I knew it my heart was racing in my chest. *Well that's new.*

"So you're my tutor Isabella Swan? If I'm not mistaken you are just finishing you're sophomore year?" He said sounding so happy I was flattered.

"In the flesh." I said teasing him and we laughed.

"How old are you?" I asked quite curious. I thought he would be younger; fresh out of high school but he seemed older.

"I'm 22 I traveled quite a bit before deciding to come back here." He smiled again and my heart raced again. It was odd how he seemed to stare right into my eyes when he was talking to me. Most people usually avoid such intense eye contact. I liked it.

"Must be weird to be back; and in a strange town."

"I'm felling better already; if I had known I would've met you I would've come much sooner." His voice was light. He wasn't mocking me nor was he trying to flirt he seemed genuinely happy to have found someone to talk to.

"So why did they assign me to you?" He asked.

"I guess I'm the only one who really enjoys French class." I blushed hoping he wouldn't ask me to try to speak French.

"Good to know."

"So do you even need it; I mean the tutoring; you seem fine." I asked hoping he would say he needed it.

"When they asked if I needed a tutor I thought it would be a good idea. I do have lost some of my English grammatical and syntax knowledge and I need someone to explain to me how Forks works." I looked at the clock behind me. I was really running late on my book sorting.

"Well I'll be happy to help you but I really need to get these on the right shelves." I motioned towards the books and to my surprise he took the 8 I had dropped into his hands.

"Lead the way." He stated smiling.

"You don't need to…" I began.

"I want too." He assured me.

I smiled back. Maybe I wouldn't spend all summer alone after all.

**I know it hurts when it's not Edward but if Bella is going to date him she can't notice his flaws ;) not yet anyway read and review. **


	19. Friends or more? Bella

**Short chapter**** again. Week from hell guys blame school for the late update if you could call my teachers and tell them to leave me alone it would be perfect ;) Bad news : exams week next week followed by March break don't know when I'll update. Also I screwed up big time forgetting to mention the CD in last chapter I'm telling you all I'm losing it lol. **

Bella

_**Pourquoi changer?**_

6 weeks… 6 freaking weeks and each day going by was beginning to take a real toll on my morale. If I hadn't had Julian to entertain me the last few weeks I would've gone insane. He'd kept me smiling. He really was an awesome guy. He was funny and smart and most of all not completely absorbed by dating. There was a connection between us and I didn't know how far I wanted it to go. They'd been some moments when I'd thought he was going to ask me out but something always happened and distracted us. Rose was calling less often since I'd found a friend and she was begging me to "go for it".

"Please Bella the last date you had drive in cinemas were still popular." Rose mocked me.

"He's the one not asking me out." I defended myself trying to make her understand that I wasn't planning on declining the invitation if I could get it from him.

"You mustn't be giving away the right signs. Bella please tell me you're not always talking about Edward." I heard her sigh.

"No… not always anyway."

"Bella ! Oh my god you're unbelievable do you think this guy is turned on by your "I miss Edward" misery? No. Cut it out and turn on the charm girl or he'll give up." She commanded.

"You're right." I finally admitted.

"Got to go but if you still haven't got a date by Thursday I'm coming back home to kick your pretty butt." She threatened before screaming something to Jasper and hanging up.

She was right. I was talking a whole lot about how I missed Edward.

I checked my watch. I still had to go by Edward's house to check if everything was ready for Carlisle's arrival. Big news: Carlisle was done with school and was coming back to Forks with his fiancé Esme to work at the local hospital. I was really excited about seeing him I usually only caught a glimpse of him three to four times a year but now he was officially moving back. Edward would be so happy. Alice had written to me about it saying that Edward wanted to rethink his living arrangements. I guess it meant that he wanted Carlisle and Esme to have more privacy. I'd met Esme only one time and I'd only got 2 minutes with her but I just knew she was the most generous and caring woman there was. I'd obviously volunteered to prepare a little surprise for them at the house and make sure everything was perfect. I grabbed my keys and made my way to the parking lot. I couldn't drag my feet I only had one hour before I had to meet Julian at the library. So I was really surprised when I saw his car pulling in beside the Volvo.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked as I went to greet him. He smiled and I went giddy again. Damn him.

"I thought we could grab a bite to eat and go to the beach instead of staying inside all day. The sun is out and as I've been told it's a rare thing around here." He said casually but my heart started beating faster. Looked a lot like a date from where I was standing.

"Of course; sounds great I only have to do a couple of things at Edward's house. His brother is arriving Thursday and since I'm working all day tomorrow it's my last chance to get it done." His smile fell a little.

"You're welcome to help me if you want." I offered and his face lit up again. I didn't know why his smile had such an effect on me but I knew that I wanted to do everything possible so that it would stay on his lips. I caught myself wondering what it would be like it he kissed me. I'd been wondering it a lot lately and it was way out of character.

"I'd love to help you."

"Let's take my car I have some things in the trunk." I said as I entered the shiny silver Volvo. Edward had insisted I used it while he was away and I'd given in to his pleas.

"So where does this best friend of yours live?"

"I don't think you've ever been there. It's nowhere near college." I smiled inwardly thinking Julian was in for a big surprise. I'd talked about Edward but not about the fact that he was loaded. Julian was a lot like me his parents weren't rich and he'd traveled away most of the money he'd made working. I saw the curiosity on his face as I made a left turn on the richest street in Forks.

"Wow that's a rich neighbourhood."

"You have no idea." I smiled.

Edward' house was at the far end of the road where the woods began and it was very intimate since the road was a dead end. As I drove past the last house and the only one left was the manor Julian exhaled.

"You're kidding." He turned to me like he thought I was just messing with him. I shook my head.

"Not at all." I parked and went to the trunk. Julian was staring at the beautiful manor. It had that effect on people the first time.

My task went smoothly and the afternoon on the beach talking about English literature was really fun although I felt like Julian was preoccupied. I was also a little disappointed because it hadn't felt like a date; more like two friends hanging out.

We came back to my apartment around four and Julian left promising he would visit me at work the next day. Still he hadn't been himself all day and I was worried Rose had been right and he was giving up on asking me out. There was sometimes this weird energy between us telling me he wanted more but a second later it was gone and he was back to acting like we were just friends. I would have to talk to Rose about it.

I drew myself a bubble bath and pressed the play button on my stereo letting Edward's song fill the room of its melancholic rhythm. I'd cried when I'd found the CD in my backpack the day of his departure. There was a little note on top of it saying:

Bella's lullaby; for my amazing best friend

whom I'll always come back to.

He'd signed it Swan's boy making me laugh while I cried. As I looked for my favourite pyjamas I came across his old soccer shirt. I smiled as I remembered how he hated it. I put in on and went to bed. It was in moments like this that I missed him so much it burned. I couldn't for the 9 weeks left to be over.


	20. Changes Bella

**Okay this one is making me nervous as well. Need your reviews. I may have time to write some more this week-end I you guys can convince me ;) **

I keep your photograph,

I know it serves me well.

I wanna hold you high,

And steal your pain.

'Cause I'm broken,

When I'm lonesome,

And I don't feel right,

When you're gone away.

You've gone away,

You don't feel me anymore.

**-****Broken**

Bella

_**Pourquoi changer?**_

I knocked on Edward's door and laugh at how odd it felt to knock. It was practically my second home. I was really excited when Carlisle had called me yesterday saying that the house was great and Esme was insisting that I came to have dinner with them. He answered the door with a bright smile.

"Hello Bella it's a pleasure to see you." Carlisle was now 28 but he still had that boyish look that reminded me so much of Edward

"Wow Carlisle it feels like forever since I saw you." I said as I gave him a quick hug. Carlisle had practically been a father to Edward since we were 11; even more so when their father had actually died. Esme was waiting for me on the other side of the door. She was even more beautiful then I remembered.

"Bella I'm so happy to see you again. Last time we met I barely had time to talk to you." Esme said smiling. I immediately felt warmer. Esme had that effect on people.

"Thanks again for inviting me." I said as she pulled me towards the kitchen.

"I couldn't wait to properly get to know the famous Bella." I blushed.

"I'm not that interesting really."

"You're all Edward ever talked about when he came to visit Carlisle. I feel like we've known each other for years." We talked for a while; Carlisle letting us take care of things in the kitchen while he unpacked their boxes. She was really awesome. She was a piano teacher and was looking forward to find new students here in Forks.

We served dinner and ate while Carlisle told me the whole story of how he'd ask Esme to marry him. It was such a sweet story every couple of minutes they would stare intently at each other and hold hands or share a short kiss and I envied them a little. They were very happy. After supper we moved to the living room and Esme talked to me about her family. She was an only child because her mother and her sister had died during labour. Rough pregnancies were running in her family and she was worried she would never be able to have a child of her own. I felt how much it pained her and yet she still had this amazing spirit and told me that they'd decided to try adoption after the wedding.

When the phone rang and Carlisle picked up and started whispering I was so caught up in Esme story I didn't even think twice about it.

"Bella it's for you." I gave him a questioning look and his secretive smile made my heart beat faster. I brought the phone to my ears and let out a soft hello.

"Hey beautiful." I closed my eyes. His voice was still such a comfort to me. I suddenly felt more alive than I had in the past 6 weeks.

"Edward! Oh my god I'm so happy you called. I miss you and Alice like crazy and by the way; tell her I know this set up was her idea." I heard giggles.

"Sorry Bella." Alice screamed for me to hear.

"So how are you guys how's Italy and everything? You have to tell me exactly when you're coming back" I talked so fast Esme and Carlisle let out a laugh, looking at each other.

"It's incredible Bella you wouldn't believe how beautiful it is around here." Edward started but I felt like there was something he wasn't telling me. I spoke more quietly.

"Did it go okay with your mom?" I murmured making sure no one could hear.

"It was hard Bells, but I'm trying my hardest I promise."

"I'm sure you are. It can only get better" I reassured him. I knew he would have a hard time reuniting with her there were such painful memories between them.

"I hope you're right." He answered before I begged for details about their trip. We talked for what seemed like a minute but must have been more than an hour. Alice also insisted that we went all back to Italy someday. I could feel it was her favourite place yet. She talked about all the shopping she was doing and how she'd bought a ridiculous amount of clothes for me and Rose.

"But Bella I couldn't resist everything is so gorgeous I'm sure Rose will be thrilled." We laughed.

"How's your foreign protégé?" She asked and I didn't know what to say. Should I admit that I had a crush on Julian? Alice would go crazy. It felt silly to talk about it to her, especially since if nothing happened she probably would scowl me like Rose had. I didn't want her first question to me when she'd call back to be about that. I felt a deep red blush creep on my cheeks.

"He's nice." I said trying to keep my voice even.

"And?"

"And nothing." I lied. She would give me hell later if she found out. I heard Edward mumbling in the background.

"No fair Edward you talked to her way more than I did." She sighed.

"Okay guess my time is up my annoying brother insists to have the phone back." We exchange goodbyes and I made her promise to come and visit as much as she could when their trip was over.

"Sorry about my _annoying _sister she can't shut up for a minute." Edward teased as he came back on the phone. I smiled imagining Alice's angry pout. Edward didn't say anything. Neither did I. With no more words to fill the silence I felt my mood shift and my voice grew serious.

"9 weeks to go." I stated matter-of-factly.

"9 whole weeks…" Edward trailed off and in a way it felt good to know I wasn't the only one thinking it was a huge amount of time.

"Can't wait to be back." Edward said softly and I could picture him lying on his five stars hotel bed, eyes closed.

"Thanks for the CD, I loved it." I heard him smile.

"Thanks for the pictures."

"No problem." My voice was a soft whisper. It was time to say goodbye now.

"I guess I have to go, it's the middle of the night here." I felt my heart fall in my chest.

"Yeah take care and don't let Alice buy anymore stuff for me."

"Promise. Take care Bells." He hung up and I took a deep breath. I could see Esme was watching me from the corner of her eyes. She came beside me.

"Are you okay?" She wanted me to feel like I could confide in her but there wasn't anything to say. I wouldn't survive another month of this if I kept moping around.

"I'm okay." I answered bravely, promising myself that I wouldn't mope around anymore. It was time to take matters into my own hands. I was alone for the next 9 weeks and Julian would never ask me out if I kept talking about my abroad friends. After all, he was alone in the world too right now and he managed not to whine about it every two seconds.

I thanked Esme and Carlisle for everything and got back home. I decided to call Julian it was still pretty early. It only rang once before he picked up.

"Bella I'm so happy you called." He was so genuinely happy the butterflies in my stomach went wild.

"Hey I'm happy to catch you home." I didn't know how I should bring up the subject. I wasn't used to ask a boy on a date.

"Did your dinner plans go okay?"

"Perfect…" I still couldn't manage to say anything.

"Bella… I was wondering… would you like to go for a walk or something it's still early." I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Sure sounds great."

"I'll meet you at your place in a bit."

"Perfect." I hung up and smiled. Definitely no moping for me tonight.


	21. Second date Bella

**Thanks for the reviews I got very stron****g reactions to my last chapter. I had to leave my computer in my apartment because I went home for March break by bus so that's why you've had no chapter when I promised one. But the bright side is I'm preparing the next already and it should come out tomorrow. **

**I want to clear up that since Bella isn't (consciously or not) in love with Edward; for her to date Julian isn't "moving on" from Edward. She misses him a lot of course and my story wasn't planned to be short. In life you don't necessarily love your first boyfriend more than the last. Bella and Edward are used to be friends, it's the very foundation of their lives I don't think they would wake up one day wanting to change it all if something didn't get in the way. Bella never really dated and she's a romantic. She believes in love at first sight and passion and everything. She doesn't know (yet) that love has of way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. But I promise this is a BXE fanfic and in the end I think it's all worth it. Please don't kill me for that chapter.**

Bella

_**Donne lui un baiser**_

When Julian had walked me home last night I'd almost expected it to be our first kiss. I was disappointed when our very first official date ended abruptly when my neighbour opened the outside door on me, making me trip and fall on the hard cement of the entryway. I'm such a monumental klutz. We'd made plans to go to diner tonight. What could I do to ensure that it wouldn't end in a display of clumsiness nor an awkward goodbye? Rose would have advised me to be irresistible. That's how I'd gotten stuck in my bathroom trying to tame my hair into soft curls like Rose did so well. What if he didn't think I was dating material after all? *Oh my god I'm going insane.* I thought as I gave up trying. How could one guy make me feel so nervous? Why do I miss Rose obsessive need for perfect hair? Why do I feel like the last three weeks have been a complete waste of time? I didn't get anything done; I just waited around for Julian to finally ask me out and I ruined the end of our first date. I let out a frustrated groan. Only 6 weeks to go into this weird life. I hoped I would get to spend more time with Julian but I couldn't wait for a semblance of normality to be back into my life. Or one big piece of my normality, Edward shaped. My phone rang forcing me out of my reverie.

"Hello."

"I'm going to kill Emmett." Rose angry voice shouted. I smiled. She was pretty much angry at him everyday.

"Why?" I asked innocently.

"The jerk didn't call for a whole week." She whined.

"Rose you're the one who told him to back off. You even told him you had no time or energy for a long distance anything." She mumbled.

"I know but I didn't really mean it. Bella you know better than anybody that I'm…" This conversation was getting interesting.

"That you what?"

"That I just don't want to get hurt if he changes his mind." She admitted with a sigh. Poor Rose, her pride and hot temper would always win over her trusting and loving ways, especially with guys. Especially with Emmett McCarty who had scared the hell out of her by ravishing her heart and who still hadn't officially transferred to Fork's University.

"Well sorry Rose but I have to get going." I said hoping to get away with it.

"Are you seeing Julian tonight?" Her voice was now high with excitement. Almost Alice-like.

"Maybe."

"Bella, you have to be irresistible and I don't want to hear about another end of the date injury." She ordered and I couldn't help but laugh at her commanding tone.

"Promise, bye." I hung up before she could threaten me more. I looked at myself in the mirror once again.

I decided to dress as I would on any other day. After all, we'd known each other for about two months and he certainly knew that I wasn't one for fancy clothes. We'd grown closer over the last three weeks and I knew now that I wanted him as more than a friend. Tonight I would know for sure whether or not he felt the same way but something in me screamed that he did and that he was just as shy as I was. When the doorbell rang the knot in my stomach reappeared. I opened the door and grabbed my things.

"I'm sorry Bella I'm a little early." He said and I lost myself into is eyes.

"That's ok, I'm all ready anyway." I smiled.

"Well then let's go."

"Where do you want to eat?"

"Well I thought since I'm early and not that hungry we could walk to the little Italian restaurant on Fifth Street." He suggested as we came out to the incredibly warm air of this day's late afternoon.

"Great idea."

We walked in silence for a minute until I lost my balance and prepared myself for another hard landing on the sidewalk. To my surprise, the hurt never came. Instead I found myself wrapped in Julian's arms.

"You really are clumsy." He said sweetly as he steadied me on my feet.

"Yep, that's me." My voice was shaky, he still hadn't put any distance between us and I liked it.

"I wish I would've caught you the other day." His voice grew more serious.

"I really wrecked the end of our first date." I half joked, looking deep into his beautiful brown eyes. We were so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"You know what they say about the first date?" He asked me, his breathing uneven.

"No, what?"

"They say a gentleman should never kiss a girl on the first date." His eyes were nervous and yet teasing.

"What do they say about the second date?" I asked him, succeeding against all odds to keep my voice and face straight. He came even closer to me and I stopped breathing. He bent down for what seemed like hours and our lips collided. It was slow and sweet, just like I thought a first kiss should be. My heart raced along with his and I slid my arms around his neck.

The rest of the night was shared between kissing and talking. I don't remember if I ate much at all. I'd never felt so shy and yet so daring at the same time. At some point during our walk back to my apartment he stopped in his track and pulled me to him and kissed me.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered in my ears and shivers ran down my spine. We kissed again.

"I thought you would never ask me out." I admitted. He smiled.

"I thought you wouldn't be interested." I couldn't believe he thought I wouldn't be interested.

"You were wrong." I kissed him again.

"From the moment I saw you I knew you were one of a kind." He sounded so sincere, he wasn't teasing me. When we arrived in front of my building I felt an ache in my heart. I didn't want him to leave and yet he couldn't stay. I so didn't want him to think I was ready for anything more… physical.

"See you tomorrow?" I asked hopeful.

"Count on it, since all you friends abandoned you; I have you all to myself for the next six weeks and I intent to get as much of Bella as I can." I laughed and he gave me a wonderful goodnight kiss.

**So it happened. Don't be mad. I hate that Edward isn't the one kissing her so I won't make a lot of chapters about them**** kissing. And if it all seems a little awkward don't be afraid it is only weird because it's not Edward but I assure you, it will bring something incredible to the story. Big news in next chapter please read it and don't hate me.**


	22. A taste of home Bella

**So I kept my promise this time ;) Enjoy. **

**The song is I will alway return from Brian Adams**

Bella

_**Je reviendrai toujours vers toi**_

The phone rang disturbing me during a most appreciated dream. I cursed out loud, looking at the time on my alarm clock. 3:30 am. I picked up my mind still clouded.

"What?" My voice was as bad as it could get. I really wasn't used to talk on the phone at such a horrible hour.

"Bella!" Alice squealed. I would normally have been worried by Alice calling me at this hour but her voice was louder and more enthusiastic then it had ever been.

"Alice, someone better be dead it's 3:30." I grumbled.

"Don't go all Edward on me I thought you were a morning person."

"It's not morning." I grudgingly answered.

"Bella I'm just so excited." She almost screamed.

"About what?" I was definitely missing something.

"Oh…Bella I just learned Esme finally set the date!"

"The date?" My thought were all muddy.

"The wedding date you silly." She said as if I had blasphemed. I'd already received a phone call telling me this so really I wasn't that excited.

"Yeah I know she told me, what's getting you all worked up?" I heard indistinct background noises, like someone was covering the phone with his or her hand. Then it hung up. I considered for half a second the possibility that Alice had been attacked in her five star hotel room she shared with Edward and was in need of my help but dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I was walking in the hallway of the main faculty building towards the library where I had to endure a ten hours straight shift when my eyes were caught by a silhouette I could recognize among hundreds.

"Emmett." I called after him. He turned towards me and smiled.

"Bella, great to see you, I see that you are spending the summer here." He said running his hand through his hair.

"Yes indeed I'm the sole survivor." I joked.

"I hoped someone would be around, I officially moved." I could see he would have preferred me to be a certain blonde but at the same time he was happy to see me. I was happy for Rose and relieved that he was trustworthy. I knew Rose was afraid but still how much hurt could come from a big teddy bear like him.

"Does Rose know?" I asked deciding not to avoid the subject.

"Not really she kind of told me not to call her." He admitted with a small smile.

"I'll tell you a secret then." I said looking around like it was a top secret affair. He followed my lead and whispered.

"What is it?"

"She wants you to call her." He stared intently at me, trying to be sure if I was serious or not. I laughed. I was already running late so I started to move away.

"And Emmett, remember, we never spoke of this." I winked at him and hurried towards the doors I was supposed to unlock 2 minutes ago. The day went by and around 6 I was pleasantly surprised by Julian's arrival.

"Hey." He greeted me leaning against the counter.

"Hey." I smiled up at him from my comfy chair. He was often coming to study here while I worked but I didn't expect today to be one of those days. One of his friends from France was visiting this week end and he was supposed to arrive this morning.

"How come you're alone?" I asked grateful for whatever reason allowed me to see him.

"He's stuck at work. Well he's going to come some other time" He seemed disappointed so I gave him a compassionate look.

"The bright side is tomorrow is supposed to be a great day to hang at the beach and now we can go." He suggested. I smiled widely, it was a perfect plan.

"Then I'm almost happy your friend had to work." I half joked squeezing his hand.

"Now I'm going to be a good boy and let you get back to work." He took his things and took a place at the far end so he wouldn't be too distracting.

The evening went on and beside occasional glances between us it wasn't too exciting. I was stuck in my story. Apparently being in a relationship didn't help with the writing. Four days ago we'd officially established that we were a couple. It still felt unreal. Five minutes before 11; I started the usual closing procedure.

A bunch of PhD students were still in deep concentration so I attracted their attention and signalled them they had max ten minutes left. I walked by every aisle to make sure they were the only ones left and I saw Julian gathering his books for the corner of my eyes. I went by him to say goodnight.

"Goodnight." I said sweetly taking his astonishing smile in.

"Goodnight, I'll come to get you at eleven." He answered and I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter. It was so hard to remember not to kiss him while I was working. I seemed to share my thought.

"Maybe I'll wait for you outside…" He trailed off but I shook my head. As tempting as the offer was I always needed at least twenty minutes to close up and I didn't want him to wait in the pouring rain that had plagued Forks for the last two weeks. The sunny day awaiting us tomorrow was a miracle.

I was turned towards him, my back facing the entrance, and I could hear the footsteps of the few last students fading away when something happened. I didn't exactly know what it was but my body suddenly stiffened and my pulse quickened. My instincts were deeply alerted. Julian frowned as a hand blinded me and an arm sneaked around my waist, pushing me against a rock hard body. I should have been scared or at least startled by that intrusion of personal space but at once I knew. He felt like home.

"Guess who?" A low velvety voice murmured in my ears.

I hear the wind call your name

It calls me back home again

I can't stand the distance - I can't dream alone

I can't wait to see you

Yes I'm on my way home

Oh I hear the wind call your name

The sound that leads me home again

It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns

Oh, it's to you - I will always return

**Review pleaseeeee I'm working on the next chapter but I need your input on this one before.**


	23. News Edward

**Wow the reviews were amazing guys. They convinced me that you didn't deserve to wait ****long after the cliffie. So I'm posting one more but I have an exam Tuesday and it will probably be the last update until then. Enjoy ;)**

Edward

_**Elle n'a qu'à ouvrir l'espace de ses bras pour tout reconstruire…**_

When I felt her heartbeat against my chest I knew I was whole again. For mine was beating in synch with hers and the hole her absence had left in my heart was fading away with each second. To see her blinding smile when she turned to face me was enough to erase all the loneliness and doubt I'd felt. I didn't let go of her waist; I kept her close to me to be sure it was real. I'd missed her more than I ever thought possible and now that she was back by my side I wondered if it'd been foolish to ever let her out of my sight.

"Edward oh my god!" I squeezed her harder against me.

"Missed you so much."

"I can't breath." She said half teasing half choking.

"I don't care." I waited few second before reluctantly loosening my hold around her. I noticed that I was still holding her up in the air so I carefully put her back on her feet without putting much distance between us. Then I saw it. The look the strange boy was giving me. I assumed it was Julian but I couldn't understand why he was staring at my hands on Bella's hips with such cold hatred. Or was it worry? Anyway his stare wasn't welcoming.

Bella's voice tore me away from this guy.

"I can't believe you're back you liar. You were supposed to arrive in 3 weeks."

"Are you not happy to see me? I can go back to Europe if you prefer." I feign to walk away from her but she grabbed my arm and yanked me back forcefully beside her.

"Don't you dare." She said menacingly and we laughed hysterically like when we were kids. I was almost jumping up and down maybe I shared some genes with Alice after all. But I saw the menacing stare again. What the hell? I decided to do something about it before I got angry.

"Bella, look this way." I pointed to the guy. "You're so impolite you didn't even introduce me to your friend." Before she had time to react I offered him my hand and went on. "Excuse Bella, she's so improper, I'm Edward Cullen, the best friend." I teased her and she punched me hard in the stomach.

"I'm Julian Leclerc, the boyfriend." My eyes went wide at his comment; this was a big surprise considering Bella had barely talked about him. He was looking straight at me with an expression that I didn't like. Like he was smug… or something. I turned back to Bella.

"Boyfriend? Oh my god Alice is going to kill you." She grimaced.

"Alice is in England."

"Yes but still." I'd almost let it slip, it was time to go.

"Well Julian I'm sorry I'm going to have to steal her away." I turned to Bella. "I have a big surprise waiting for you in the car."

"You mean aside from everything Alice bought me?" Her tone was desperate and her eyes pleading. God I'd missed her eyes. They spoke to me in ways none other could. And again I saw the other pair of eyes present was screaming at me to get away. I reasoned with myself. Of course this guy would be jealous of me, like my girlfriends were jealous of her. He would get used to it.

"I still have to close up." She reminded me.

"Well hurry. I'll wait for you in the car."

"Kay." She still had this gorgeous smile on her lips.

"Well Julian it was nice to meet you." I friendly said before turning away. I went back to my car that I'd parked about a feet from the entrance. Surely it wasn't legal to park there but whatever. I sat in the driver's seat and turned back to my sister hiding in the back.

"Does she have a clue?" Alice squealed.

"Not at all." I wondered if I should drop the bomb on Alice but decided to let Bella announce it herself. Julian went out not a minute after me and Alice must have thought he was a customer for she said nothing. He made the funniest face when he spotted me and my car. The Vanquish had this effect on people.

Bella must have been really impatient because it took her half what it usually took to close everything and she was soon opening the passenger door. It was very dark and wet so she didn't see Alice until the little pixie put her face right between us. Bella screamed.

"Oh my god Alice! You totally startled me."

"I know I'm sneaky." She joked and they embraced each other as well as they could from their sitting positions.

"This rain is horrible, let's go to your place we'll be better there." Alice offered to Bella and I drove off. I frightened my best friend with my reckless driving like usual but I could tell that in a way she'd missed it. I let the girls catch up and soon we were in Bella's apartment drying ourselves up.

"So now tell me what are you doing here?" Bella asked as she turned the lights on. She shivered so I put my arms around her shoulders and started rubbing her arms. It felt so good to actually be back I'd been thinking about this moment almost from the beginning. Alice asked me with a glance if it was time to say her big news and I nodded with a smile.

"Bella, Esme asked me to help her with the wedding so I'm moving here." Alice's joy was radiating and Bella soon joined in.

"Really?" Bells had this it's to good to be true look on her face.

"Yes. Mom was a little sad but I'm starting this semester in fashion design." Bella's launched herself at Alice and they jumped together.

"Oh Bella I'm so happy I wanted to tell you on the phone but Edward forced me not to." She pouted towards me and I rolled my eyes.

"Tomorrow we're going to go get the rest of our luggage; we left in such a hurry we had to send them separately. You won't believe the treasures I found for you." Alice rambled on and on about clothes and I decided I needed a shower. I went into Bella's room for a clean towel when I spotted my old soccer shirt on her bed. She clearly had slept in it and it made me feel warm. When I came out all wet Alice was waiting for her turn. Apparently an entire day on a plane made your body scream for a shower. I went to sit by Bella on the couch.

"So tell me everything about the trip." She asked impatiently and I complied. I talked to her about Italy a couple of minutes and when I was sure the water was running I switched the subject.

"When are you going to tell her?" I asked with a meaningful look.

"About what?" She feigned innocently.

"About your **boyfriend**." I was drying my hair with the towel and Bella grabbed my arms.

"Can we not tell her tonight?" She tried but I immediately shook my head.

"No way I'm already your accomplice; the longer you wait the angrier she'll be." I insisted and she sighed in defeat.

"How would I even say it? Please Edward, pretty please."

At this moment Alice came out of the bathroom.

"Bella you don't know how good it feels to be here, Edward has been a pain for the last 3 weeks. Mom left early and I was stuck with him mopping around half the time and picking out girls the other half." Alice mocked me. It hadn't been like that. Even if I'd been interested in a fling I couldn't let my little sister alone. She attracted too much male attention for her own good.

"Yeah Edward is a real pain." Bella teased and I narrowed my eyes at her. She was going into dangerous territory.

"He's so grumpy in the morning." Alice continued.

"I know he's like a 21 years old baby." They laughed and I decided she'd earned it.

"Hey Alice, you know what? Bella has a boyfriend." Bella gave me a nasty looked but I just smirked.

"WHAT?" Alice exploded her face switching back and forth from excitement to betrayal. Bella pleaded her forgiveness and Alice made all the pouts and puppy dog looks she had learned to master over the years in order to make her feel bad. I just enjoyed the show. Alice couldn't be angry for more than a minute but damn it was so funny when Bella had to admit that Rose had known about it for a while. When Alice figured Bella had suffered enough she asked every detail possible about how it'd happened, when and where. After a while the subject drifted back to our trip and the places Alice had shopped. Time was flying by and soon we were all yawning. Alice made the first move.

"Well I'm beat I'm sure you guys have still a lot to say so I'll leave you alone. Rose gave me permission to invade her bed." Alice waved us goodnight and I thought it was odd she was the first to turn in, almost unbelievable. I wasn't going to complain if it gave me the opportunity to talk to Bella about other things then boyfriends and clothes.

"So you tired?" I asked her softly.

"Yeah but I'm still so happy you're back." She said hugging me. I squeezed her against me. She went to change and I smiled when I saw she'd put on my soccer shirt with her comfy trousers.

"You're still so chic." I teased her.

"Shut up." She answered grinning. We lay down on her bed facing each other and we talked some more. She asked me about my mom. It must have been three or four when she drifted off. We were all snuggled up into each other. I'd missed her scent and her warmth. It felt exactly the same as before and I was glad. Best friends forever.

We made a connection  
A full on chemical reaction  
Brought by dark divine intervention  
Yeah, you are a shining light

You arrive and the night is alive  
Yeah, you are a shining light

You are a force you are a constant source

Yeah you are a shining light

Incandescent in the darkest night

Yeah you are a shining light

Yeah you light up my life

-Shining light _**Ash**_

**By the way**** if I see that updating often make you review less next time I'll leave you hanging ;) **


	24. Secrecy Alice

**I want to thank rides the beast who is totally getting my story and gives me a lot of great ideas. You're the best. **

**Alice is back for good so I decided she was the next one in line. **

**I got a review that got me thinking. I talk about my personal life only to explain why I can't update sometimes (because I feel bad about it) and I find totally disconcerting that someone used it to question my motivations as a writer. **

**And Shanda I can't reply to you but your review made me smile and I'd like to use your line in the story if it's okay with you ;) **

**Alice**

_**Entre l'arbre et l'écorce**_

I woke up relatively early in the morning and got ready without waking anyone. Around eleven a knock on the door startled me and I went to get it. The boy on the other side had no idea of who I was and I guessed it was Bella's hidden boyfriend Julian.

"Hello Julian I'm Alice." I shook his hand. He seemed to know who I was; that was a relief. He looked surprised that I was so tiny.

"Hey, you're Edward sister's right?" He had a friendly smile on his lips but I thought a saw a glimpse of worry when he mentioned Edward.

"Yes I am and I'm also very happy to meet you. Come in" I spoke with my usual sprightliness also giving him my most charming smile. I wanted him to think of me as a friend even though my beloved brother would certainly become his worst enemy.

"Where's Bella." He asked glancing around surprised she wasn't already with us. I giggled.

"Bella's asleep you see I kept her up really late last night." There was no need to point out that she was actually too caught up in Edward to remember to set her alarm.

"We were supposed to go to the beach, all of us, I guess." I saw he was growing uncomfortable.

"It would have been great but I can't make it, Edward and I have things to take care of." I wanted it to be clear that no Cullen would be a part of this trip and he seemed relieved.

"Should I wake her up?" He asked me with a smile. He really was cute, not gorgeous like Jasper or Edward but there was definitely something special about him.

"Let me do it." I wondered how much he knew of Bella and Edward's relationship. Bella didn't realise there was anything so special to it so I knew she hadn't… warn him. Any normal guy would need a warning not to freak out about the fact that they were sleeping in the same bed. I knocked softly on Bella's door. I got no answer so I cracked it open and saw that they were both still in deep slumber. They were adorable. I kicked myself mentally. It didn't matter how much I thought they should be together. Bella had Julian now and I couldn't wreck it for them. Well…

"Bella." I murmured trying to only wake her.

"Yeah?" Her voice was thick with sleep. They must have talked for hours after I went to bed.

"Julian's here." She opened her eyes but Edward rolled over her mumbling something I didn't understand.

"Just a minute." I closed the door and prayed Edward would stay put. I offered to make him coffee and he accepted saying Bella would need one as well. I saw him glance into Rosalie's room. I'd let the door open. I watched his expression to see if he understood what that meant but I don't think he did. Bella came out fully clothed and Julian handed her the cup he'd prepared.

"Thanks." She smiled up at him.

"You're ready?" He asked her and she turned to me.

"Sure you can't come with us Alice?" I could tell she didn't mind being alone with him but it pained her to be away from us.

"I'm sure." I was about to go back into Rose's room and leave them alone; almost sure Edward had drifted back to sleep.

"Alice we're freaking late why didn't you wake me?" Edward's voice echoed loudly from Bella's room and I gave Bella a warning glance. She looked puzzled. This girl would never learn. I saw Julian's eyes narrow. *My oh my it's going to be even worse than I thought.*

"Bells where are my back up shirts I can't find them?"

I thought about killing Edward for this but about a second later he walked out the room his chest bare and I saw the genuine surprise at the sight of Julian. He stopped in his tracks and turned to Bella.

"Yeah, sure, I'll go get them." Bella said going back into her bedroom.

"Hey." Edward greeted Julian.

"Hey." Julian answered; unsure of what was happening. Edward went after Bella and I was left alone with him. I smiled brightly. If this was going to work out without them pulling each other's eyes out I had to pretend this was the most natural thing. If I appeared uncomfortable he would surely think there was more to it than just a sleepover. Bella acted oblivious to the situation but she hurried to leave and I guessed she'd caught Julian's mood. Edward gave me an apologizing look and I decided not to talk about it with him just yet.

"Edward I won't be able to go back for our luggage with you, Esme needs me for something girly." I laughed lightly like I always did when I lied.

"Damn you could have told me I would have asked Bells to go with me." He said and frowned when he realised she probably wouldn't have been able to come. He shrugged it off and turned back to me. He probably would have whined more if it hadn't been for Esme. He knew how good she'd been for Carlisle and we were both grateful to her.

"So I'll head out or they'll throw your pretty dresses in the garbage." He teased and I scolded him for saying such a horrible thing. He ruffled my hair on his way out and I cursed out loud. He was such a pain but I loved him anyway.

I checked my hair in the mirror before going outside. I wasn't that bad. I'd lied to Edward about going to help Esme. I actually had another appointment he couldn't know about just now. I hoped Bella and Julian would have a good time. I almost felt guilty thinking about him but my plan was too far along for me to back off. Anyway the happiness of my annoying brother would always be more important to me. The summer I'd spent with Edward had erased any doubt I had about his love for Bella. The fact that he had no clue hadn't scared me and I had planned some aggressive interfering. Julian was an obstacle to that so I would have to give up on some ideas. I didn't want to hurt him in the process and Bella's feelings would complicate things. Nevertheless my intuition screamed that they were meant to be and my intuition was never wrong. I'd been right about Edward and my mother working it out this summer and I would be right about that too. I'D have to be careful with Rose's involvement. She wasn't as willing to meddle as I was and for a while now she'd try to calm my enthusiasm. Of course she knew about Julian and I didn't so now I could understand her point of view. She'd however agreed to the first part of my plan. It was convenient and it seemed like the natural thing to do. It wasn't really meant to get them together; it was more of a nudge towards the life they could have. I was waiting in the parking lot for Rose when someone else came around the corner; Jasper. My breathing hitched. I wasn't prepared for this. I was actually incredibly nervous about seeing him again. He parked the car right beside me and unlocked my door. My heart was going crazy in my chest when I sat next to him. We'd exchanged our emails and phone numbers when I'd left for England and we actually had an intimate connection that my trip had cut short. I hadn't received an email from him for the last two months and I was so scared he'd realised I was just a baby. I smiled to him and our eyes locked. He was without a doubt the man of my dreams. My body longed to touch him and I cursed silently the fact that our reunion had to take place in a car. How would I even manage to get a word out?

"Hello." His perfect silky voice said sending shivers down my body.

"Hey." I took a deep breath. It was good. My "hey" was breezy enough; perfectly hiding my undying love for him.

"Welcome back." He was breezy too but his eyes sparkled.

"Where's Rose." I failed trying to sound like I really cared for her absence.

"She had an important meeting with a certain Emmett. She's going to caught up with us" He winked at me and my heart stopped.

"That's good." My voice was uneven and when he looked at me I was his body tensing up. I was glad I'd worn my lucky skirt with my knee-up Valentino boots. We drove silently to the first apartment. I would need a place to stay and Rose was supposed to visit with me. Bella didn't know she was back we wanted to surprise her again. Rosalie texted me that she would be with us as soon as possible and ordered me to enjoy myself. She knew I had a big crush on her brother. This girl was pure evil. Or a saint depending on how you looked at it.

With saw the first two places but nothing caught my eyes until the third one. It was perfect. The bedrooms had huge closets and two wide windows in the living room overlooked the forest. I instantly felt at home. The lady giving the tour looked at us with kindness but also envy.

"You two are going to be really happy living here. I must stay you are the cutest couple I've ever seen." My heart dropped in my chest as I took in her words and was about to correct when the impossible happened. Jasper reached for my hand and pulled me to him.

"Thanks we think so too." The rest of the tour lasted barely a second in my clouded mind. Why was he doing this? Was it because he liked me? Could it be? My heart was racing just thinking about it. When the lady excused herself saying she would be back in ten minutes Jasper let go of me. It felt cold. I wondered if I should ask him why he'd lie. It would be awkward but not asking him would be worse so I decided to risk it.

"Why did you…?" He looked intently at me and grabbed my hand again.

"Alice…" He started but Rosalie's voice ruined it. Jasper stiffened and put a good distance between us. Damn now I would never know. I forced my body to calm down.

"Wow what a place." She said as she entered. She thought it was perfect too.

"I'm getting it. Are you still up for tonight?" I smiled and went over for a hug.

"Alice; are you sure this is a good idea?" Rose asked, unsure again.

"Believe me if they're going to spend as much time with each other as we know they will, we're doing them a favour."

"How?" Jasper asked.

"Innocent people need an alibi." I wide smile spread across my lips.

**So ? ****How many of you figured out Alice's plan?**


	25. The alibi Edward

**Okay ****we learn about Alice's plan in this one. But I'm afraid it's not my strongest Edward POV. **

Edward

_**Vivre **_

I was enjoying a particularly pleasant dream when Bella woke me by her incessant movements.

"Stop squirming you're waking me." I mumbled and tried to stop her from disturbing me by putting my whole weight on top of her.

"Just a minute." She said as she tried to roll me off of her.

"Just sleep Bells it's early." I tried to convince her but she seemed to be pretty determined so I freed her. I heard her gather her clothes and go into the kitchen. I almost went back to sleep when I remembered Alice and I had to go back to the airport. I glanced lazily at the alarm clock and was shocked to discover it was passed 11. I got up and changed my pyjamas for my jeans.

"Alice we're freaking late why didn't you wake me?" I was pretty sure Alice had been up for a while. She was an early riser much like Bella. I took of my shirt and fumbled around Bella's dresser looking for the ones I had here in case of a sleepover but they were nowhere to be found.

"Bells where are my back up shirts I can't find them?" I didn't want to make a bigger mess so I figured it would be easier to ask her. Damn I felt so sleepy I was in desperate need of a coffee. I walked out of the room and almost jumped at the stare Julian was giving me. I didn't even know he was here. I looked at Bella wondering why she wasn't answering me.

"Yeah, sure, I'll go get them." She walked by me and went back into her room.

"Hey." I tried. He continued to stare at me and I frowned. Then it dawned on me he probably didn't know Bella and I used to sleep in the same bed. I guess his reaction was understandable. Bella would need to talk to him about it before it got any more awkward.

"Hey." He managed to say but I could still feel the tension between us so I went after Bella. She was on her toes trying to grab something on the highest shelf of her closet.

"Looks like little Bella needs help." I teased. I caught her by the waist and lifted her up the few inches she was missing. She got the box and I put her back down.

"Here." She put the box on the bed and handed me one of my shirts.

"So you're going to the beach?" I asked as I put it on.

"Yeah. It's a shame you and Alice can't come." Her voice was a little sad. I didn't want to part ways either.

"Hey we'll go to dinner tonight I'll come pick you up." I tried to cheer her up. She smiled.

"Don't be late." She said and I grinned. She went back into the kitchen and I went directly into the bathroom to avoid Julian. There was definitely something off with him. When I came out having brushed my teeth and everything they were gone and Alice was handing me a cup of coffee.

"Edward I won't be able to go back for our luggage with you, Esme needs me for something girly." She giggled and I smiled. She was always so excited to do "girl stuff". On the other hand I would be stuck alone until dinner.

"Damn you could have told me I would have asked Bells to go with me." I guess Alice hadn't said anything not to ruin her plans. Or maybe she thought she wouldn't have wanted to come. I frowned. As much as I wanted them to be things weren't exactly the same.

"So I'll head out or they'll throw your pretty dresses in the garbage." I smiled when I saw a glint of panic in her eyes. I messed up her perfect hair and left. I wanted to get this over with.

After a boring afternoon of driving alone and putting all of Alice's things in the car I was ready to murder her. I hadn't realise there was so much stuff. *I can't believe she let me go alone.* I whined inwardly. I'd driven at my usual speed and was about 1 hour ahead of schedule. Bella probably wasn't back yet so I decided to stop by the house. I was happy Carlisle was back even though I'd have to move. But when I got there Carlisle's car was nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was only one car parked in the street and it belonged to Rose. I tiptoed through the front door thinking it would be fun to give them a fright. They were talking animatedly in the living room.

"I'm telling you they started on the wrong foot." Alice's voice said, worried.

"It's only been a couple of hours it'll probably be ok after a couple of days." Rose replied trying to be practical. I had no idea what they were talking about.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, he's not exactly used to it yet."

"It is no easy thing to take, I imagine, finding out your girlfriend's best friend is a male god." Now it was pretty clear. They were talking about Julian's reaction to me. So I wasn't totally paranoid this morning, Alice had seen it.

"Ew Rose it's my brother."

"Just stating the obvious." Rose insisted. I smirked at this. Bella had always kicked some sense into me whenever I got cocky about my looks but I merely enjoyed it compared to her best friend.

Rose smiled wickedly at Alice and said something too low for me to hear. Alice became red from head to toe and I felt like it was time to make my presence known.

"Hey girls." Alice jumped two feet in the air when she heard my voice and I became quite curious of what the two girls were talking about. Rose gave me one of her rare pure smile.

"I'm happy to see you too Rosie. What are you doing here?" She rolled her eyes at the nickname and slapped me playfully.

"Well I'm back our contract finished early and anyway Jasper needed some preparation time for his classes." She explained leaving out the obvious.

"And I heard Emmett is back." I wicked at her and she blushed, obviously unhappy she'd been busted. My phone started ringing and I could tell by the song it was Bella calling. As I answered Rose signalled that I couldn't say she was here. Girls were found of surprises.

"Hey you." I greeted her before Alice took the phone from my hands.

"Hey Bella I it's me are you on your way back?" I tried to get it back but the annoying pixie was faster than me.

"What the hell Alice give me back my phone." I demanded clearly pissed.

"Wonderful, could you ask Julian to drop you off at the restaurant, Edward and I were leaving. I have some totally exciting news." Alice giggled and hung up.

"What the hell was that Alice?" I asked her.

"I was afraid you'd tell her about Rose." She justified herself but I could tell it was bull. She was planning something.

"Julian isn't coming?" Rose asked Alice.

"No, he had something planned tonight." I could tell Rose was dying to meet him.

"So what's the rush exactly?" I asked but the two girls said nothing.

"Come on hurry up or Bella we'll be there before us."

Alice dragged me back out and Rose drove us to the restaurant. I normally would have insisted to drive but Bella still had the Volvo and Alice seemed to think the Vanquish was too much for an evening at Pizza Hut. We chose our table and Rose went to talk to the waiter. Bella arrived ten minutes later and sat beside me. Alice was practically holding herself down on her seat to hide her excitement.

"I'm starving." I said and Bella agreed.

"Do we order the usual?" She asked and I nodded. I spotted Rose coming towards us from the corner of my eyes. She was dressed as a waitress. I couldn't suppress a laugh. Bella looked at me like I was crazy and Alice gave me a death glare.

"Are you ready to order?" Rose asked trying not to giggle. Bella opened her mouth as if to say something. Then, slowly lifting her eyes up to the "waitress" beside her she let out a small cry.

"Rose." Bella and Alice, who apparently couldn't contain herself longer, got up and formed a big group hug. Girls were so intense. Bella asked what Rose was doing here and so on. It took about ten minutes for them to clam down and sit back down. Alice however wasn't calm at all.

"So what's the big news?" Bella asked. She was so cute when she was dying to know something.

"Well, here's the deal: Edward you still want to move out of the house?" She asked me and I was caught off guard. I didn't the big news would concern me at all.

"Yes I want to give Carlisle and Esme the privacy they deserve." I repeated what I'd been saying all week, that I needed to find myself an apartment.

"And I don't want to live alone since well… it would be a torture for me not to have someone to talk to." She said mocking herself. We all laughed. Alice could never live alone.

"So…?" I thought I understood what she wanted to say; maybe she'd found an apartment for the both of us. But again that would have been regular news.

"Ssh let me finish. I found the perfect apartment today. I'd thought about it this summer and I don't want to live with you dear brother, I mean you scared every guy who showed interest in me all summer long and let's face it: you're sloppy. So…." I was half relieved not to live with Alice because of her over the top enthusiasm and half insulted she was the one who didn't want to live with me.

"So I'm going to be moving in with her." Rosalie cut in and I caught a glimpse of Alice's mischievous expression. Bella's face fell but I understood instantly the last part of the plan.

"But what about me?" Bella asked unsure. Could she really believe even for a minute, Rose would leave her alone?

"She really didn't follow hum? Edward's going to take Rose's place silly." I stared at Alice, trying to decipher her proud grin. I was sure there was more to this than she wanted us to know. I was about to say something when I saw how excited Bella looked. She turned to me and asked with her big brown eyes if I wanted to live with her.

"Well I guess we pretty much already live together." I joked, putting my arms around her shoulders and we all laughed at how true it sounded. Something in me felt warmer at the idea of living with her. It was the best idea Alice had ever had.

**So? **


	26. Loose Bella

**Ok I hadn't planned this chapter but the scenes kept nagging me so I figured**** I would write it. Since Bella is oblivious to most of the things going on around her, she can't notice that Julian is upset that Edward's moving in with her but don't worry the issue will rise up again some other time. If I'd done it from his POV however you can imagine that he's freaked out, worried, jealous and a little frustrated. **

Bella

_**Jaloux**_

After waking up at a more reasonable hour than yesterday I took a long and relaxing shower. I would need it if I wanted to survive the girly day Alice had planned for us. Edward had spent the night again. I was so happy he was back. I combed my hair and chose what to wear for a dreadful day of pampering. Even if I didn't want to admit it I was kind of happy to hang with the girls. I'd missed them too much I guess. Julian was a little disappointed that we couldn't hang though. I guess it was weird for him to have to share me with my three best friends. When he had called me yesterday I'd told him about Alice's news and he'd seemed very surprised. But Alice's plan was flawless. It was the only way that made sense to arrange our living situations. I'd always wondered what it would be like to be roommates with Edward and I was thrilled I was going to find out. I went back into my room to find my favourite sweater. I noticed Edward was slowly coming back to life.

"What time is it?" He asked me his voice thick with sleep.

"9:30."

"Could you come here a second?" He asked and I went by his side, curious. In an instant he caught my arm and I found myself lying on top of him.

"That's better. So what are we doing today?"

"_We_ aren't doing anything remember, your evil sister has plans for me." I stood back up. He groaned.

"Wish me luck." I said as I left the room and closed the door behind me. To my surprise Rose was waiting for me in the living room, ready to go. I was happy I was going to be living with Edward but at the same time I would miss Rose a lot.

"Ready?" She asked smiling. I groaned and she dragged me outside.

Alice started by giving us all the stuff she'd bought over the summer. It took forever to try everything on. But it was better than shopping in an actual store. We could talk and listen to music and time handed up flying by. Rose did Esme's hair for tonight's hospital benefit and Alice talked to her about the wedding.

Rose found something perfect for our plans tonight. It was her fist official date with Emmett. Alice wanted me to wear the little black Italian dress and I protested. We were only going out in Port Angeles. Of course I eventually gave in but as they played Barbie Bella on me all afternoon I became worried I could not pull off a dress like that. It fell way above my knees and the fabric was so smooth it clung to me like a second skin.

"Come on Bella it looks so good on you." Alice repeated for the hundredth time.

"Julian will want to eat you alive." Rose added.

"He probably won't even come." I said. He had an interview for a job at the university early in the morning tomorrow.

"But if he shows you want to be fabulous. Also we're having dinner in a classy restaurant." Alice insisted. Half an hour later I was wearing the dress and I had agreed to wear heels. Oh my god I would die tonight. The boys arrived at last and Alice served us a glass of wine before we left. I stayed close to Edward in case I'd fall off my shoes.

"My god Bells you're going to kill yourself." Edward exclaimed noticing the shoes.

"She'll be fine." Alice assured him but as wasn't as confident.

Rose whispered privately to Alice and then to Jasper.

"Bella your dress is amazing." Jasper complimented and I blushed.

"You're going to drive Julian mad." Alice said and I became all red.

"She's going to drive every boy in that club mad, Edward you'll have to keep a good look on her." Rose added.

"I always do." He answered roughly.

What was the deal with this dress? I didn't want to wear it in the first place. We split up into two cars. Edward was taking the Volvo with Alice, Jasper and me and Rose and Emmett took his Jeep.

When we got there I danced with Alice for a while. Rose and Emmett were so into each other they barely stopped kissing long enough to breathe. When we got back from the dance floor Jazz and Edward were playing pool and I could tell Jazz was heavier on the beer than usual. Later when Rose forced me back on the dance floor I lost sight of my best friend. After a couple of songs we went back to our table and Emmett teased us for being the "hottest thing on the dance floor".

I finally received a text from Julian saying he was right outside so I went to meet him. He bent down to kiss me and I realised I'd missed him a lot today. He looked at me from head to toe with a look I'd never seen on his face.

"Wow Bella you look… wow." I blushed.

"Come on I want you to meet the rest of my friends." I brought him to our table and Rose was waiting for us. I saw his eyes widened when he saw her but he recovered quickly.

"Julian, Rosalie, Rose, Julian." I introduced them and she smiled.

"Hi it's nice to finally meet you." He politely replied. Rose gave me a glance meaning "he's cute" and then Emmett arrived beside her.

"I'm Emmett." They shook hands and I was thrilled that everything was going so good. Jasper was right behind Emmett and I introduced them as well.

"Where's Edward." Jazz asked looking around.

"Probably near Lauren's lips." Emmett joked. Lauren had been throwing herself at him since we'd set foot in the place. She was taking advantage of Jessica's absence. It was sickening. I hoped Emmett was wrong. Emmett made a couple more joke about Lauren before Rose gave him a warning glare. Emmett's humour was crude but he was sweet in every other aspect.

Julian brought me at the corner of the dance floor and put his arms on my waist. It felt great. I could see Rose and Alice spying on us from the table.

"I'm happy you decided to drop by."

"My pleasure. It's bad enough that I won't see you tomorrow."

"I can't believe I have to work fours days in a row."

"I'll come visit you." He promised and I felt better. Between working so much and helping Edward and Rose to move I wouldn't have a lot of time left to hang with him.

"Would you want to help us move Rose's things Saturday? I mean feel free to say no but I won't have a day free until next week and I'm going to miss you." I asked him and I was happy when he accepted.

"So Rosalie and Emmett are together?" I nodded.

"Yes, it's kind of complicated between them though officially their relationship is very new."

"Are Alice and Jasper together?" I thought it was so cute he was interested in my friends.

"No they aren't but I think Alice likes him." I confided in him.

"Does Edward have a girlfriend?" He asked and I couldn't help but giggle. He looked at me wondering what was so funny.

"What?"

"Sorry I'm just not used to people not knowing that Edward doesn't do relationships. I mean he has a girl here or there, but nothing serious. He's kind of famous for it." I saw judgement pass in my boyfriend's eyes and felt a little angry about it.

"He's not a jerk." I defended my best friend. I knew some people had problems with his ways but he wasn't a player.

"If you say so." He smiled at me and I forgot everything else. We kissed.

"Do you want something to drink I'm thirsty?"

"A bottle of water will do thanks." He kissed me again and went to the bar. I stood still for a minute when I had an unpleasant surprise.

"Hey Bella. You look soooo hot tonight. Your dress..." Mike Newton said touching my arm. He was wasted.

"Mike hi, I'm sorry I don't really have time to talk." I tried to get away but he followed me.

"Relax Bella, I haven't seen you all summer I missed you." His breath was really horrible. There is nothing worse than a drunken Mike Newton. One time in high school he had actually tried to put his tongue down my throat. I was so relieved to see Julian coming back towards me with our drinks. Mike's hands were still a problem though and Julian frowned.

"I'm sorry is there a problem?" Julian asked.

"You're a problem." Mike answered rudely.

"Mike; leave us alone, go home, you drank enough for today." I tried to convince him but he shook his head. If there was any way this could end without a fight I was going to find it.

"No Bella I can't leave you alone with this guy. Who are you anyway?" He asked Julian and I could see his patience towards Mike was wavering.

"I'm her boyfriend."

"And I'm Santa." Mike mocked him and tried to reach for my waist. Julian moved towards him, his fist tightened, but before he could do anything Mike's arm was stopped by another hand.

"What are you doing Newton?" Edward asked dangerously; making Mike jump. His face went from confidence to fear in a mere second.

"…Cullen. I didn't know you were back" Mike stuttered. He freed his arms from Edward's hold and put a good three feet between us.

"Yeah I'm back." Edward casually said taking a sip from his beer. Mike turned away and I lost sight of him in the crowd. Edward winked at me.

"You owe me another one beautiful. Julian." He nodded and went back towards Emmett and Jasper. Julian seemed flabbergasted.

"How?" He just asked and I gave him a questioning look.

"What?"

"How come this guy wouldn't leave you alone for a minute and **he** shows up and all of the sudden it's like… I mean how?"

"Oh it's nothing really. Edward is just protective of me. Mike doesn't understand I'm not interested. He never did" I explained but it didn't seem to be enough.

"No but I'm there saying I'm your boyfriend and this moron laughs at my face and one stare from **him** and he runs the hell out." Then I got what it was all about.

"Look at you all disappointed you didn't get to be the one to save me." I smiled at him and kissed his neck, trying to get him to relax. It worked; when I looked in his eyes again there was no trace of anger left. I enjoyed his company for about an hour but soon he had to go. I kissed him goodnight and looked for Edward but he was nowhere to be found. I guess he'd gone with Lauren. Ew.

Alice had apparently started a drinking contest with Jasper, Rose and Emmett. I joined in when I figured I couldn't leave before them anyway. I drank a little too much and was a little dizzy when Rose and I decided to dance again. I'd never been really drunk but, minutes after my last drinks; I didn't feel like my grasp on reality was as strong as it should have been.

"Oh my god Bella Emmett is so hot tonight." She whispered into my ear. I just smiled. I was mortified. Why had I let myself drink as much as everybody else? I knew my body wasn't up for it.

"He asked me back to his place. I won't go home with you" She continued smiling wickedly. I was shocked. I knew Rosalie and it was very like her to do something like that but something in me panicked at what she'd said. It instantly made me nervous about my own relationship. I wasn't ready to have sex. Did Julian expect me to go back to his place anytime soon? I felt nauseated. Sex wasn't something I'd considered yet but apparently everyone considered sex early these days. I mean Edward was probably having sex right now. I felt sicker. It dawned on me that I was a virgin. Oh my god was it right? I'd fooled around with boys but I'd never gone all the way.

I wasn't dancing anymore I was only trying not to fall flat on my ass. I jumped when Edward caught me by the waist. His hands accidentally pushed the thin fabric of my dress up on my hips making me shiver.

"You're going to fall gorgeous." I barely heard his velvet voice over the music but gladly he'd talk right into my ear. I looked into his green eyes and noticed he was the only one of us who didn't look intoxicated. I leaned into him for support.

"You're not gone with Lauren?" I asked surprised with a stupid grin on my face. I suddenly felt so hot, I could feel the heat radiating off my skin. My heart started beating erratically.

"Come on Bells she's worst than Jessica." The place where his hands were was burning. I needed air.

"Yeah she's horrible." I started giggling for no reason and Edward gave me a weird look.

"You're drunk." He realised, looking concerned.

"I don't feel too good" I admitted. He put his hand to my forehead.

"You're burning up." His voice was soft and worried. I wanted to reassure him but the truth is I couldn't talk any more. I hid my face in his neck; ashamed of myself.

"Rose, why did you let her drink that much?" I vaguely heard him ask. Everything was spinning around me. I felt his hand trail down the back of my thighs to my knees and a second later I wasn't standing anymore. I was still burning though.

Swimming in liquid fire. That's how I felt for the longest and shortest time. The feeling was scary and exquisite at the same time. I vaguely remember the rough seat of a car, my head hitting my pillow, my heels being removed. My dress was still clinging to my skin; I wanted to remove it so I could breathe again but I couldn't move.

When I opened my eyes again Edward was handing me pills with a glass of water and my head hurt like crazy. I groaned and he ruffled my hair smiling. He was going to tease me forever for this. The burning had stopped but I couldn't figure out what started it.

**The part about the thighs and knees is because Edward picked her up bridal style. You won't see drunk Bella a lot in fact I plan on only bringing her back one other time so I hope you enjoyed it a little ;) (I was going for the fact that when's she's drunk her body reacts to Edward's touch.) But don't get too excited there's still a lot more to go before that happens again. **


	27. Questions and answers Rosalie

**Ok ****this chapter it's going to be short but since it's the third update in four days I'm sure you won't hold it against me. Thanks to all my reviewers I love you all you make my day ;) **

**Rosalie**

_**La question**_

After three nights in a row spent at Emmett's I was back for one last night as Bella's roommate. We'd planned an enormous girl's only sleepover with popcorn, chocolate and Alice's enthusiasm. Edward hadn't wanted to leave us alone before seven but I'd arranged that the guys went out so he wouldn't disturb us. I seemed to be the only one noticing but his trip hadn't been without consequences. He wasn't the same Edward Cullen anymore. The shift was almost imperceptible but it was there. He wasn't as willing to leave with his usual types of girls and even if he'd hooked up with Vanessa something two days ago I could tell I'd done it only because we would have thought it was weird of him not to. I wasn't sure like Alice was that it was because of Bella; he seemed to act pretty normal around her, but there was definitively something.

Tomorrow all the gang would meet up to help Edward and I move so we could be settled in our new home before school started. I was happy to spend a night alone with the girls but at the same time I was sorry I wouldn't get to continue my exploration of Emmett's amazing body. He worshipped me like a goddess and I loved it. As hard as I'd wanted to protect my heart I couldn't deny anymore that I was in love with him.

"Rose, stop daydreaming about Emmett we're ready to start the movie." Alice chanted. We were all in Bella's bed in our pyjamas. I didn't even watch the movie; the guy looked too much like Emmett and my thoughts drifted to pleasant memories. It was only after the credits that I forced myself back to reality. Alice turned to Bella; asking her all the details about Julian.

"There's not much to say." Bella was always so secretive.

"How far did you go?" Alice insisted. Bella stole a glance at me and I was surprised she looked like she was afraid.

"We just kissed." She said looking uncomfortable. I realised that maybe she felt weird about me already sleeping with Emmett since she had only kissed Julian. Silly Bella.

"Does he pressure you?" I asked her trying to get to the bottom of all of this.

"No, not at all, but I feel guilty for not being as open about sex as you are." She admitted. I started stroking her hair.

"Sweetie I'm sure Julian doesn't expect you to jump into bed with him. I'm the weird one but I couldn't help it. Emmett makes my blood boil."

"It's not just you look at Edward. Look at Jasper." She grumbled obviously not okay with my explanation. I saw Alice cringed at the mention of my brother. I knew she liked him a lot and Jasper hadn't had sex with another girl since she was back. I was sure it was no coincidence.

"Edward is a guy of course he likes casual sex. You don't have to." Alice took her hand in hers.

"I'm a virgin too Bella." That seemed to calm her.

"I like him a lot I just don't want things to move too fast." Alice shot me a delighted glance over Bella's shoulder. Her mind was really set on bringing her dense brother to realize his feelings and the fact that Bella wanted to take things slow with Julian seemed to please her.

"Is Julian reacting well to Edward?" Alice asked lightly.

"Of course why shouldn't he?" I rolled my eyes at Alice. One day one of us would have to tell her guys had the tendency to be jealous but with a little luck things would work themselves out.

It was hard to concentrate on moving when Emmett carried my boxes making his muscles roll under his shirt. Alice was the only one not helping with the packing because she had to stay at our new apartment to wait for the furniture she'd bought. I was happy to get to live with Alice. Even if I still considered Bella as my best friend, the smallest Cullen would be a perfect roommate. Plus I could spend hours in the bathroom since we each had one. I was making sure all my designer clothes were ready to be safely moved when I saw Julian was rooted to the spot beside the boxes.

I went closer to see what he was doing. I had a bunch of pictures still up on the wall and I immediately spotted the one he was staring at. It was the picture of Bella and Edward in bed. OH MY GOD. I looked the other way while my mind panicked at my foolishness. The picture was surreal that's why I'd printed it. Their love for each other was staring at him in the face. Edward had never looked more handsome or Bella happier than in this picture. And the intimacy reflected by their position would so give him the wrong idea.

He turned to look at me looking torn.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him trying to be nice.

"I wanted to ask, I know it's silly but…" He seemed so nervous I knew what was coming. Damn it had to happen to me. To be fair it was my picture. I waited for him to continue.

"It's just that…" I gave him an encouraging smile. Someone had to do it.

"Were Bella and Edward a couple before he left?" His voice reflected how uneasy he felt. I frowned trying to act like I didn't expect this question. Like it made no sense to me to even imagine it.

"No of course not they're just friends." I used my most convincing tone. I also batted my eyelashes. Couldn't hurt.

**I love Rose. **


	28. Game on Edward

**I can't believe I had so many hits in the last few days it's amazing. **

Edward

_**De trop?**_

I was so happy we were done with the boxes. I'd just installed the big screen TV I'd bought for the living room. The immensely comfortable L-shaped couch that could fit all of us had been delivered this afternoon and I was dying to just lie down. I proposed a movie night but apparently everyone else was exhausted from our week-end. Translation: Rose and Emmett were horny, Alice was decorating and Jasper was bored. So it was Bella and I alone and in a way it was even better. I was happy Julian hadn't been able to help today, he'd given me nasty looks all day yesterday and it was seriously getting on my nerves.

"Thanks everyone, Rose call me later." Bella said goodbye and closed the door behind them.

"So what do you want to do roomie?" I asked her with a smile.

"Well I want to try out this new couch." She said taking the best spot in the corner of the L and grinning proudly at me. She took her book on the table and opened it. I went to get my ipod in my bedroom and smiled at the sight of my brand new bed. I went back to sit with her. I laid there and she put my head in her lap. I just listened to the music, eyes closed. It was a mix of all my compositions and favourite pieces. I really needed to get back in the game. I knew my music teacher would scold me for the lousy summer I'd spent and I also knew that as a junior I would have to fight to stay at the top. It helped that the one deciding which piece made it to the recital was a young woman. I knew she loved to see me play and could practically hear the improper thoughts she had about my hands when she looked at them. I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" She asked, curious.

"I was thinking about Tanya Harrison."

"Isn't she the one who's in love with your hands?"

"Yep. I'm irresistible." I boasted. She rolled her eyes.

"Disgusting she's way older than you."

"She's about the same age as Esme." I clarified. "Plus she's hot." I added this part to piss her off.

"What now you're planning on sleeping with her?" She asked disapprovingly.

"I may have to if I don't come up with anything good in the next weeks." I joked. Bella sighed.

"Sex isn't always a joke you know." I was surprised at her sad tone. I pushed her book out of the way and pulled her down softly by the collar until I could stare right into her brown eyes.

"What's up Bells?" I used my best friend tone and I could practically see her annoyance falter.

"Nothing that a guy can help me out with." She gave me a small smile. I grimaced. I hated when she used this as a reason not to confide in me. But I knew I'd lost this one. I let her go back to her book and went back to my music. I lost track of time but it must have been about eight.

While she was reading she began to absentmindedly play with my hair. I was so relaxed. I loved that we didn't need to always do something together to feel close.

"Your hair color is really weird." She said matter-of-factly.

"You just noticed it?" I sceptically pointed out.

"I'm just saying copper isn't a normal hair color." She repeated giggling.

"What about those?" I said grabbing one of her curls. She shrieked and slapped my hand away. I laughed and closed my eyes again.

When her phone started vibrating in her pocket right under my ear I realised I'd fallen asleep.

"You look like you enjoyed your nap." Bella teased me taking her phone out and answering.

"Hello?" It was probably Rose. Bella had asked her to call.

"Hey Rose I'm surprised you stopped having sex long enough to call us." I said playfully into the phone before Bella put her hand over my lips to silence me.

"Don't mind him he thinks you're Rosalie." Ah it was Alice. Bells still had her hand to my lips. I lightly bit her little finger. She let out a cry of surprise.

"Nothing… of course, we were going to watch a movie anyway." She hung up.

"We were?" I raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Julian wanted to come by I just gave him a good reason." Damn, I wish it'd been Alice.

I decided to make popcorn and sat back down just as Julian was coming in. They whispered quietly to each other. Of course I'd been able to read on Bella's lips since we were 14. She said she'd had a great day. She started telling him about our evening. I saw Julian looking in my direction so I stopped spying on their conversation. We didn't talk much. Bella was clearly oblivious but we weren't fond of each other so I just faked being too tired to talk. As soon as the movie was on Julian started kissing her every 5 seconds. And every time he'd glance in my direction. After a while I couldn't concentrate on the movie at all. I felt like he wanted me to see it, like this display of affection was for my benefit. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him. I swear he gave me a smug look from the corner of his eyes before kissing her again.

I tried to ignore them altogether but with his stare constantly bringing my eyes back to them I just couldn't. I felt anger rising in me. *Who does he think he is?* I grudgingly asked myself as he leaned in for yet another kiss. I stood up.

"You don't like it Edward?" He asked innocently enough but I knew better. He wasn't talking about the movie. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sorry I'm way too tired." I excused myself and Bella waved goodbye yawning. As I walked away I felt like I had … lost. I stole a glance at Julian before closing my door and he surely thought he'd won. But won what? This was ridiculous. There was no competition between us and if there was one I'd sure kick his ass. If he kept this condescending smirk on I'd have to make that clear. If he wanted to play games with me I'd show him that Edward Cullen never loses. Against my better judgement I started thinking about ways to get back at him. I found myself plotting various scenarios. I needed to stop; Bella would kill me if I pulled something like that. But only if I was unsubtle enough for her to notice it…

I laid down on my back but my eyes refused to close. I wondered if Bella would come. There was no reason to, but again no reason not to. Eventually I heard the movie end and a little while later the door closed as Julian left. I held my breath for a little while. I heard her bedroom door click. I couldn't make sense of why but it bothered me that she'd chose not to join me for a little chat. Maybe she thought I was asleep already. I turned on my stomach. *It's no big deal you're tired anyway.* I tried to tell myself. I felt uncomfortable so I took my shirt off and threw it in the corner. I tossed and turned for about half an hour to no use. I guess my nap had ruined every chance for me to sleep despite the odds. I was usually the kind of guy to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was about to give up and get up when I heard my door open slightly.

"Edward?" She said my name sweetly careful not to wake me if I was sleeping.

"I'm awake." I breathed. She walked towards the bed and I held the covers up for her to slide next to me. Her warmth enveloped me and I felt my body relax at last. I started drawing random patterns with my hand on her bare lower back, waiting for her to talk. I guessed she'd something to tell me but after a minute I realised her breathing was slow and even. She was sleeping. I closed my arms around her and did the same.

We spent some time together walking

Spent some time just talking, about who we were

There's nothing like you and I

We spent some time together drinking

Spent some time just thinking about days of joy

There's nothing like you and I

We spent some time together crying

Spent some time just trying, to let each other go

There's nothing like you and I

So why do I even try?

-Nothing like you and I _**The Perishers**_

**I'm on fire this week ;) Your reviews keep me going. **


	29. Love story Alice

**Wow I love you all!**** I can't believe that my story is so popular it's really a first for me I'm addicted to you all. Shanda I couldn't resist taking another line from your review ;) **

**Alice**

_**Électrique**_

Today was our last Saturday before the beginning of the semester. The last 3 weeks had been so uneventful I couldn't wait to start college. We'd gone out once but Bella was trying to work as much as possible before school started and Edward was always composing. I was happy to be back home for good.

My mother had had troubles with my decision at first but with Carlisle and Esme's wedding and the fact that I absolutely wanted to study fashion design she'd accepted my decision. It won't always be so perfect though. I can only do my first two years in Forks because it is such a small place I'll need to finish either in Seattle or New York.

One highlight of being back was that I could see my favourite models everyday. Hell I was living with one of the Hale. Rose was always teasing me.

Jasper had been hanging out in our apartment a lot and Rose had given me more than one glance telling me to go for it. Tonight she'd arranged something close to a double date. We would play poker. I was confident that I'd hold my own in the game but against Jasper I felt helpless. I was too young for him. Edward would freak. He was a teacher now and I was a freshman. How much worse could it be? But I wanted him. Every fibber of my body called for him it was getting pretty hard to avoid improper thoughts. Last week he'd even showered here. Oh my.

"So I'll go get Emmett and Jasper should be here any minute now." Rose explained again as she get dressed.

"What are Bella and Edward doing did they want to come?" I checked with her.

"Bella is with Julian and Edward is in one of his moody artist phase." She mused.

"Talking about Julian I still can't believe he asked you if they were dating."

"Old news."

"You know that you deliberately avoided giving him details. He'll ask again."

"Alice, tell me this: how do you explain to a girl's boyfriend that his girlfriend  
has this electrifying connection with her best friend but doesn't see the deep  
intimacy of it?" I repeated her sentence in my head.

"Right, you don't." I admitted.

"Precisely." Rose had made her point. As long as both of them kept denying they wanted to be more than friends, talking about it was impossible. But right now thinking about their problems made me forget mine. I had worn one of my sexiest dresses, a fact that wasn't lost on Rose.

"So is tonight the night you're going to admit having feelings for my brother?" Rose asked me eyebrow raised. I blushed deeply and avoided her stare.

"Don't be ridiculous." She sighed and waved goodbye. She'd be back with Emmett in about half an hour. I played with my nails nervously waiting for Jasper to arrive. I recognize is gentle knocking on the door two minutes after Rose's departure.

"Come in." My voice was shaky and I couldn't get up to greet him since my leg seemed glued into place.

"Hey." He softly said and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered. He was so gorgeous I couldn't get used to it. He sat on the couch across from where I was. I felt a little disappointed but then he looked at me and practically gawked at the sight of my dress. I smile inwardly. I knew now that he was attracted to me. He just wasn't doing anything about it. We just looked at each other quietly but it was way too intense so I broke the silence.

"Did you want something to drink?" I asked as a good hostess.

"Yeah, anything you have will be fine." His voice was so low and rugged I wanted to jump him but instead I behaved and went to get beers. I personally didn't like the taste but I needed something to calm me down. I went back to him and brought a deck of cards with me. I proposed that we practiced a little before Rose and Emmett got here. He accepted.

"So make me your best poker face." I asked him. He smiled and made the cutest frown I'd ever seen. I couldn't repress a laugh.

"What?" He asked all confused. I giggled.

"Show me yours." I had a hard time keeping my face straight but I locked my eyes with his and it instantly kicked my serious back into me. After a second he was the one to laugh.

"That's your best poker face?" He mocked me and my mouth turned into an angry pout. He laughed even harder and got up. I stuck out my tongue at him.

Then he did something absolutely shocking. He sat beside me and put his hand on mine. Electricity was tangible between us. His touch was burning my skin.

"Alice…" He trailed off leaning towards me. The way he said my name made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. *That's it, we're going to kiss.* I thought as everything seemed to be in slow motion. His face was perfect, the depths of his blue eyes were inviting me in and my heart jumped in my chest. Then because I'm the unluckiest person alive the phone rang making me jump to my feet. I kept my eyes on Jasper. I couldn't look away from his pained expression.

"I, hum, I…" I tried to say something but I just couldn't think straight. The idea of answering the damn phone didn't even enter my mind. I stood there shacking uncontrollably. When the ringing stopped he stood up next to me. He was so tall and I was so tiny next to him. I wanted him, needed him and yet I was so embarrassed. I moaned and hid my face in his chest. It felt right, like I belonged in his arms. I took a step back to look at him in the eyes.

"I don't know… I'm so sorry…I know you wanted… And I really wanted…" An amused smile appeared on his lips.

"Alice?"

"Yeah?" I heard my shaky voice ask.

"Shut up." His lips came crashing down on mine in a forceful kiss. The tension existing between us was unleashed and my whole body was melting into him. His tongue trailed my bottom lip begging for permission and I granted him access. Our tongue duelled for control as he lifted me from the ground and pushed my back into the living room wall. My heart was racing faster then I could have imagined. I broke the kiss a second to take a breath and lightly bit his neck. I smiled wickedly when I heard him moaned. I wrapped my legs around him and I could feel his want for me. His hungry lips found mine again and I shivered as his hands grazed my bare thighs. When the phone rang again we both turned to look at it. When Jasper turned back to look at me I could see the mix of lust and fear clouding his mind. I let out a nervous laugh and he put my feet safely back on the floor. Determination suddenly appeared on his face.

"Alice, I know I'm nowhere perfect for you but since I've met you I can't think of anybody or anything else."

"I feel the same way." I managed to answer.

"Alice Cullen, I'm freaking in love with you." He solemnly stated and he attacked my mouth again before I could reciprocate the feeling. I felt like I was high. I'd never been so happy. I was in love with him too. Love at first sight. It was like that for us and I'd been worrying for nothing.

"I love you too Jasper Hale." I smiled with all my heart. It felt so good to say it out loud.

Everything would work out. Except for…

"Shit Edward." I cried out. Jasper immediately got what I meant.

"Damn how can we tell him?"

"Tell him? Are you crazy? He'll kill you." My thoughts were going so fast I could barely keep track of them. Edward would be a total ass about this he'd never understand. I guess Jasper knew how protective Edward could get because he didn't debate with me.

"So what do we do?" He asked me. I loved how he wanted to let me decide how our relationship would go.

"Well, we can't tell him, but most importantly you're a teacher now… I'm a freshman..." I watched as the realisation hit his face. He'd clearly not thought this through.

"The only solution I see, at least for now, is for us to keep this a secret." I added.

"Shit." But his hold on me tightened and I knew he was up to it. I kissed him again.

"What about Rose." He asked. I contemplated the idea of not telling her but it seemed impossible. She already knew something was going on between us she would never buy it if we tried to hide it around her. Maybe she'd be angry and get back at us by telling Edward. No, lying to Rose wasn't a possibility.

"We should tell her." Jasper and I said at the exact same time and I giggled. Yes, everything would be fine. Why wouldn't it be?

_Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone_

_I keep waiting for you but you never come_

_Is this in my head? I don't know what to think_

_I love you and that's all I really know_

_So I sneak out to the garden to see you_

_We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if he knew_

_You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess_

_Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess_

_It's a love story baby just say yes_

_This love is difficult, but it's real_

_It's a love story baby just say yes_

- Love Story **Taylor Swift**

**So ? ****I don't want Edward to know just yet it'll be fun. **


	30. Invitations Edward

**Sorry for not being on fire this week but it'll probably be like that until school ends. Only four weeks to go before summer vacation. **

Edward

_**Un nouveau départ**_

I was getting ready for the first day of school. I was actually happy to be going back since I'd arranged to be in almost all of Bella's classes. My teacher was whining that all the extra classes would wear me down but I knew I was able to pull it off. Bella was ecstatic and it was enough to convince me anyway. I also had the intuition that Julian would not be too happy about it and after his smart ass behaviour the last few weeks I was out to get him. The sun was shining high in the sky and I put my sunglasses on as Bella put her fumbled in her bag. I drove us to school and opened the door for her.

"Ready for another year?" I asked offering her my hand.

"Always." She took it and walked with me towards the entrance.

We were meeting the others in the cafeteria for a quick breakfast before going to our first classes. I spotted Julian sitting with Alice on a table outside. He was reading. Alice was sunbathing in her brand new tank top and a lot of guys were eyeing her. They were whispering amongst each other. She was the hot new thing. I growled and Bella patted my back. The annoying pixie had both of her eyes closed and was apparently oblivious to the attention she was getting. I knew she'd be pissed if I did something. She'd made that clear this summer but I couldn't stand by while they undressed her with their eyes. We were now at earshot of the table so I put my arms around Bella's shoulders and whispered into her ear.

"How can I rid her of those perverts without her being mad at me?" I asked and I saw a smile spread across her lips. I also caught a glimpse of Julian's frustrated expression at our private exchange and beamed.

"Alice _**Cullen**_ why didn't you call me last night?" Bella said loudly emphasising on her last name. Alice opened her eyes in surprise. I saw the guys giving me a nervous glance and take a few steps back. Alice glanced around and realized what was going on.

"That was so lame Bella." Alice mocked her as they exchanged a quick hug.

"I know but less _**violent**_ than how Edward would have dealt with it." She looked at the boys as she said the word violent and they finally took the hint. Jasper came to greet us sheepishly.

"Jazz, oh my, looking good teacher." Bella teased him as she commented his serious suit. It was so unlike him to wear something so grown up.

"When did you get so fashionable?" I inquired and his eyes dropped to the floor.

"I asked Alice to help me." He admitted and Alice seemed proud of herself.

"You asked Alice for what?" Emmett joined in.

"He asked Alice to dress him up." I explained and we both laughed at our poor friend. Alice narrowed her eyes at us.

"I think it looks perfect on you Jasper." She tried to comfort him and surprisingly it worked. Bella and Rose were talking animatedly about something so I asked Emmett what he was up to these days. After a couple of minutes I realised it was time for Bella and I to head to our first class.

"Bells it's time." I reminded her and she stood up but not before Julian gave her a goodbye kiss.

"I have to get going too." He said waving goodbye and heading towards the freshman building.

Bella and I enjoyed our first class. The teacher made us split into teams of two and analyse a poem. Bella teased me for being such a girl when she realized I actually enjoyed poetry. We had a good laugh and after the class I had to part ways since I had a meeting with Tanya.

"Don't let her near your hands." She teased before turning around the corner. I smiled. The music department was actually in an independent building so I went outside. I recognize Julian coming towards me on the sidewalk. I groaned inwardly but if we were going to cross path I couldn't just ignore him. So when he was close enough I decided to be the greater man.

"Hey how was your first class?" I tried to reign in the animosity usually flying between us but all my good intentions melted when he answered.

"Great. I love all classes related to my major." He retorted and even if he was subtle about it he was pointing out that I deliberately took classes outside of my mine. My jaw clenched. *God he's a real pain.* I thought to myself trying to hide my frustration.

"I guess it's easier not to go outside our comfort zone." I stated dryly.

"You're right some people can't leave their _**comfort zone**_ alone for a minute." He said wryly and the allusion to Bella wasn't lost on me. We were dangerously near open fire and it worried me. Bella wouldn't like it. So instead of answering something offensive I decided to walk away.

"I'm late." I excused myself curtly and my blood was boiling in my veins as I walked towards Tanya's office. *He's so infuriating.* I didn't feel able to survive a meeting with Tanya but I needed too. I'd send her my CD a week ago and she had insisted on meeting me asap. Her office door was open when I got there and she motioned for me to enter.

"Edward darling I've missed you." Tanya's high pitched voice greeted me. She was obnoxious but she was the head of the music department and in such a small university she was pretty much calling the shot. I rolled my eyes as she let her hand run down my arms. She was so obvious with her flirting and the worst part was I actually had to be nice to her.

"So did you listen to my CD?" I'd spent the last three weeks putting this CD together for her to find something she really liked. I knew I'd been lazy the last semester and I needed to step up my game if I was ever going to be a professional pianist and composer. It was my dream after all.

"Well to be honest I was a little worried until I reached your last piece." She said smiling brightly. I was tying to remember which one I'd put in last when she pressed the play button on her stereo. Then I was baffled. It was the song I'd wrote for Bella before I left. I hadn't intended to put it on the CD. It was so... personal.

"It's quite a piece. Your best so far I must say. It made me cry." She genuinely said, all traces of her flirtatious annoying attitude gone for a moment. I just didn't know what to say.

"It was so filled with anguish and sadness… but most importantly love. You've never composed anything that felt so… intimate." She wanted me to fill her in on the details but I just shrugged.

"Well, I've called Chris Thompson from the music conservatory in Chicago and he definitely wants to meet you. He loved it." My eyes widened. I knew she was originally from Chicago but I had no idea she was still in touch with anyone there. Chris Thompson was a big name in the music world, always on the hunt for a new protégé. I realised for the first time that Tanya was the real deal. She'd earned her job.

"Wow really I wasn't expecting such an opportunity." I couldn't believe it. It was a big deal for me to actually be good enough for such an honour.

"You deserve it darling. You'll have to go to him though. He's inviting you to the next recital he's hosting and will meet you afterwards. It's the last weekend of September at the Allegro Hotel. I would have loved to accompany you… trust me, but I have prior engagements."

"Wow thanks Tanya. Thanks a lot." I thanked god for her to be busy that week end. It would have been a real nightmare.

"You know how you could thank me." She winked but I acted like I thought she was joking.

"Yeah I wish." I joked trying to flatter her ego so she wouldn't change her mind. I really didn't want to sleep with her because in the end I'd be the one to end it and she'd be even worse after that. She smiled; content with my response and sat back behind her desk. I turned to go.

"By the way; I almost forgot. What's the name of the piece?" I tried to think fast. I hadn't named it yet.

"Bella's lullaby." It sounded so right I felt a grin spread across my face. I usually had a much harder time naming my creations. Apparently Tanya perfectly knew who Bella was because she disguised her discontentment into a cough. I left her office in a much better mood and started looking for Bella to tell her the great news.

**I now know where I'm going with the next couple of chapters and believe me when I say that this weekend in Chicago is going to create quite a commotion****. **


	31. The talk Bella

**I'm sorry in advance for this chapter ;)**

Bella

_**Déclarations**_

I was happy that my second class had been short enough to go and eat with the others. It was such a blast that Edward had a lot of classes with me I was just sorry history wasn't one of them. I was alone making my way towards the main building when I saw Julian coming towards me. I smiled and hurried to catch up with him.

"Hey." He greeted me placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"I'm going back to my apartment I forgot something. Have a good lunch I saw Rosalie and Alice in the cafeteria earlier."

"Thanks; you too." All of the sudden he had a weird look on his face.

"Can I come by after class I really need to talk to you about something?" His tone was strangely serious but he smiled at me and kissed me again.

"Of course." As he walked away I wondered what this was about. Was it bad news? He seemed okay. I took a deep breath and decided not to worry about it until the end of lunch hour. I could always ask Alice what she thought it meant. I was thinking about it and not watching my steps when I tripped and fell flat on the floor.

"Great." I cursed out loud and got back on my feet. I walked carefully towards the cafeteria trying not to fall again when Edward's body collided with mine. He was confused and I fell again.

"Ouch Bells sorry." He apologized.

"It's okay." He offered me his hand and helped me stand back up.

"I'm really sorry but I was in such a hurry to find you… Bells you won't believe what happened during my meeting with Tanya." Tanya? He sounded really excited and I was suddenly very afraid of where this conversation was going.

"Spare me the details please." I pleaded assuming it had to do with his hands. I really didn't want any details. Less is always more when it came to my best friend sexual life.

"Don't be ridiculous. Bells she loved my piece. So much she's arranged for me to meet with the guy I told you about in Chicago." His eyes were sparkling. It took a moment for my brain to register this amazing news.

"Oh my god Edward it's… oh my god." I threw myself in his open arms, becoming all giddy. I knew how much he'd dreamed of this. If possible I was as enthusiastic as Alice on a good day.

"Which piece? Have I heard it?" His famous crooked smile appeared on his lips.

"You've inspired it. Bells I wrote it for you." He feigned to be all seductive and dramatic about it to joke around. I got all teary-eyed. His face switched back to dead serious and he stroked my back soothingly.

"Why the sad face?" He asked totally taken aback by my reaction. I hit him lightly.

"I'm not sad you idiot I'm just so happy for you." As I said the words the tears started pouring out. I tried to hide it to no use.

"Girls." He sighed but I could hear his voice was a little shaky too.

"So since you inspired it I put your name in the title; hope you don't mind." He casually explained. My eyes widened in horror. He knew how I hated to be in the spotlight.

"Calm down beautiful. No more tears. I don't want to be all wet for third class." He exaggerated trying to make me laugh. I hit him harder.

"I'll get back at you for this when you'll be famous and everyone will ask who Bella is." I scolded.

"I don't think I'm going to be that famous Bells." He shrugged my comment off but I locked my eyes with his green orbs to try to convince him.

"Well I do." After a couple of seconds of meaningful silence I realized he didn't believe me, well not completely. I knew he was insecure about his music but this was truly wonderful news; enough to start hoping for a successful career. I knew for a fact that he would be a hit. He was Edward Cullen.

"So anyway I'm going to meet him in Chicago in three weeks during a recital event thingy. Of course you're coming with me?" He forced a question mark at the end of his sentence to leave the decision to me but come on of course I'd be there for him.

"Aren't I your muse?" I agreed, teasing him.

"You are indeed." He stared intently into my eyes for a minute and we burst in laughter.

We went back into the cafeteria and Rose asked us what was going on with a questioning look. When he told them Alice almost exploded.

"Wow Edward that's a really, really great news." She screamed in joy while the curious pair of eyes of everyone present landed on us. We chatted a little but Rose soon had to leave so I was left alone with the Cullens. It felt like the right time to ask Alice's opinion on Julian's demand.

"Alice Julian told me earlier that he needed to talk to me. It's not good is it?"

Edward stiffened and I guessed it was bad news as I'd anticipated. Who could crack a boy's code better then a boy? Plus he had a lot of experience in dumping girls. I explained to Alice exactly what was said. She bit her lip and stared into space like she always did when she was trying to uncover a secret.

"Does he want to break up with me?" I asked and she shook her head forcefully.

"I know it's not about that." I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Alice was the most intuitive person I knew. I trusted her completely.

"Then what is it?" I really couldn't think of anything. Alice glanced at Edward.

"Brother dearest, a minute for the girls?" He whined a little but left us. I was surprised Alice hadn't felt like she could talk in front of him.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"I think I know what Julian's problem is." She said half-heartedly.

"What?"

"Edward." I stared at her with a big question mark plastered on my face.

"I don't know for sure, but I think he's feels… intimidated by Edward's strong presence." I thought about it for a minute. Could Julian be jealous of Edward enough to want to talka bout it? What would I even say? *He should know by now that we are just friends.* I decided that it couldn't be about that.

"I don't think that's what it is."

"Maybe you'Re right but still, if it comes up don't be surprised." She stood up and Edward came crashing back on the seat beside me.

"Time's up girls I'm bored." He said grinning.

"I have to go anyway. Congrats again bro." She said cheerfully as she exited the dining area.

I spent all afternoon getting all nervous about what Julian wanted to talk about. Was it about sex? Was Alice right? I couldn't hide my edginess and Edward reluctantly agreed to let me go home alone. He still had a fourth period. I didn't. I went home and paced around the apartment. He arrived later than I thought he would but I gladly invited him in. The suspense was killing me.

We went into my bedroom. I started to fold my laundry while we made small talk. A tlast he grabbed my hand and sat me beside him on the bed.

"Bella I need to tell you something. I didn't want to do it like this but there's always _**something**_ in the way." He started.

"I'm listening." I tried to stay casual.

"The last few weeks have been… Well I just want to be honest with you Bella." He began.

"Ok." I was pretty much preparing myself for anything. Usually when you boyfriend "want to talk" it's not a good news. I braced myself for what was coming.

"I've fallen pretty hard for you." My heart started beating erratically. I didn't expect this. Our relationship had evolved of course but I liked that we were taking things slow. I still wasn't sure I was ready for more. He was so sweet and caring I was falling for him too. *But people in love usually make love.* I thought nervously. He waited for my answer but I was wordless so he grabbed my other hand and squeezed it tenderly.

"Je t'aime Bella." It was the perfect declaration. He was actually too wrapped up in the moment to realize he was speaking French and that was the cutest thing he'd ever done. I wanted to say I love you too but my lips still couldn't move. I panicked as I realized I really couldn't say anything and I couldn't wait much longer so I kissed him. It was more passionate then it'd ever been. I gasped in surprise as he moved to my neck. It felt so good. Then he stopped and looked deep into my eyes.

"If you're not ready to say it back it's okay Bella. Really." He was so sweet.

"I do though. I do. I just need to take things slowly."

"I know." We kissed again and I felt closer to him than ever. Nevertheless I was mad at myself for being so weird about this. We both jumped at the sound of the opening door.

"Honey I'm home." Edward joked cheerfully from the living room. For a second, I saw a shadow clouding my boyfriend's eyes.

**So I tell myself that things have to get worse before they get better. ****And remember the only one who thinks Julian is an ass is Edward. His jealousy distorts the reality and Julian's jealousy also changes his personality around Edward. Julian basically thinks Edward does everything to mark Bella as his, and he kind of does, without realizing it. But don't worry the tide is rising. **


	32. Damsel in distress Alice

**I'm sorry for the long wait. I'm afraid it's going to be like this for another 2-3 weeks. I hope you guys like it. **

**Alice**

_**Détresse**_

It was Friday night and we'd decided to celebrate our first week back at school. Rose and Emmett had called it an early night but Jazz, Edward, Bella, Julian and I were still sipping our drinks at our now favourite table. Edward had talked all week about his upcoming trip to Chicago in now 2 weeks. He was so excited to go. Normally I would have arranged for all of us to tag along but I felt like Edward wanted Bella all for himself. He didn't want to share her, especially not with Julian. He'd been careful not to mention the trip around him like he was afraid he would invite himself.

As for me I was pretty happy about my life. Jasper and I were seeing each other in secret. Rose was actually excited about it being forbidden. She'd say it was the best drama she'd participated in ever. Of course for her there was no dreading the day Edward would murder us. She was feeling guilty about keeping it from Bella though but we'd all agreed Bella couldn't keep anything from Edward for more than a minute. Jasper was amazing. He was sweet, smart, gorgeous and completely mine. It was killing me to see all the girls flirting with him. Edward, unlike himself, was dodging ungraciously all the girls interested tonight.

Julian went to get a drink and I was left with Bella and Edward. They were speaking silently to each other. My heart rate quickened when Jasper came back from his pool game. He looked at me apologetically.

"Hey, Bella dance with me." He motioned for her to come with him.

Bella smiled and followed him. I looked at Jasper longingly. We'd agreed to be extremely careful around Edward but it still hurt that Bella was the one getting to dance with him and not me. Julian cut in after a song and Jasper came back to sit with me. I winked to make him know I was okay. Edward was probably unaware that he was so unsubtle but he was openly staring at Julian with a frustrated frown on his face. He looked so concentrated I probably could have kissed Jasper and he wouldn't have moved an inch. Bella and Julian walked back towards us and Edward stopped looking at them.

Bella squealed at the start of a song looking instantly at Edward. It was a relatively old song by the Coors or something.

"Oh my god, it's my song." She exclaimed. Edward started laughing at some private joke.

Bella grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the dance floor. I watched as Edward's arms snaked around her waist. Julian flinched. Bella's arms encircled his neck. They were laughing and talking like the world around them didn't exist. Apparently this song had some story related to it. I didn't know for sure if Edward was doing it on purpose but he sure touched her everywhere he could while they danced. Bella pulled on his unruly hair playfully. God how could they not see that all of this was a waist of time? They belonged together and Julian's heart would end up broken. As selfish as it sounded, I admitted to myself that I wanted it to happen. The other option implied that my brother would end up being the broken one. That was inadmissible. My phone vibrated in my pocket. Jasper grinned at me.

"I think I'll call it a night." He said and I opened the text he'd sent me.

I'm leaving ahead. I think I'll crash on Rose's bed tonight. She's at Emmett's. What do you say?

I smiled and nodded as he left Julian and I alone. The song ended and the love birds came back to the table. Bella was laughing hysterically.

"Oh my god I'm so thirsty I'll be back in a minute." She declared. Julian offered to go get her what she wanted but she declined his offer and made her way towards the bar.

Edward seemed moody again. He was absentmindedly playing with his glass. I took the opportunity to look at Jasper and blew him a quick kiss. Then it happened. So fast I wasn't even sure what was happening. At the bar a big guy threw another one violently over the counter making a big thud. When I looked over I saw that the large glass counter had blown into pieces. People were quickly clearing the area in panic. The first guy recovered but was thrown back on the pile of broken glass. He was bleeding pretty badly now. I looked over at Edward. He was gone. I went after him to implore him to mind his own business when I realised I didn't know where Bella was. I vaguely saw the two guys being thrown out by security. I had to fight my way to Edward because I'm tiny and everyone was circling around something. When I finally saw what was attracting so much attention I felt like crying. Bella was on the floor. I guessed she'd been too close to the fight and being the danger magnet she was she'd tripped. I moaned when I saw she was bleeding.

"Alice, call an ambulance." Edward ordered loudly as he bent over to check on her.

"Ok." I dialled nervously on my cell phone and explained our situation to the 911 lady. She said the ambulance was on its way so I hung up. Edward had picked Bella up bridal style and was heading out, Julian was hovering around him. I went after them and this time people made room for us to pass through.

"Why is she unconscious? Did she hit her head?" Julian asked almost screaming.

"Bella always faints at the sight of blood." Edward retorted dryly. He sat on a bench keeping Bella in his lap. Then I spotted the shard of glass planted in her leg and almost fainted myself. Julian seemed to notice it too. He made a move towards it.

"Should we remove it?" He asked. Edward gave him a murderous glare.

"Are you crazy? If it severed an artery it could increase the bleeding." Julian groaned but took Edward's advice.

Bella shivered. The cold air of the night was getting her back to consciousness.

"Bells? Can you hear me?" Edward asked as he tenderly kissed her forehead. Bella moaned and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Just stay calm beautiful everything's going to be alright." Edward comforted her as opened her eyes. She gasped at the sight of her leg but didn't faint again. I noticed Edward's hand was bleeding too.

"Edward, you cut your hand pretty badly." He didn't even look at it more than a second.

"Oh well." He only had eyes for Bella and she didn't seem too good.

Julian was really tensed between us. He was holding Bella's hand. The ambulance arrived shortly. Bella's eyes widened.

"No way."

"Yes way." Edward's voice silenced her complaints. Bella hated hospitals. She'd spent more than her share of time in one. Edward had told me that she'd reached her peak during her late teens.

Edward reluctantly surrendered her to the paramedics and Julian took a step towards the ambulance. Edward stopped him instantly.

"Only one of us can go with her." Edward stated icily.

Julian put himself between Edward and the ambulance, implying he was the one to go. Edward roared.

"Back off." He was livid. I'd never seen my brother so pale and furious.

"She's **my** girlfriend." I could understand his point of view. He was obviously really worried about her. But god I wouldn't have wanted to be the one keeping Edward away from Bella even for a second in such a moment.

"Do you know her father's phone number? Do you know what kind of antibiotics she's allergic to? Do you know her blood type or how long she had to keep her cast when she broke that same leg as a kid? Do I have to go on? She may be **your** girlfriend but she's **my girl**." Edward defied him. I was afraid my insane brother would punch him but Julian finally stepped aside. Edward got into the ambulance without looking back and I let out the breath I'd been holding.

Julian grabbed his hair in frustration and groaned. I didn't know if it was my place to try to ease his anger but I couldn't help but try.

"She'll be okay." I stated with a small smile. He didn't answer.

"Come on let's go get her some comfortable clothes. She needs us there too." I said grabbing my keys. I quickly texted Jasper to explain the situation.

_Where do you go when you're lonely__? _

_Where do you go when you're blue? _

_Where do you go when you're lonely? _

_I'll follow you _

_When the stars go blue _

- Stars go blue **The Coors**

**So ? **


	33. Rivals Bella

**I'm spending a lot of time deciding e****very details of what's to come. I really worked my ass off to give you this chapter early but it's kind of short. Enjoy : ) **

Bella

_**Rivalités?**_

"Occupation : danger magnet." Edward joked while filling the information on my hospital form beside me. Normally he wouldn't have been allowed to stay during the whole thing but all the staff welcomed any Cullen. Everyone knew his father and Carlisle very well. They also knew that Edward and I were regulars. When I was younger, my father Charlie used to come with us. After my mom had asked for a divorce they'd fought for months to keep custody of me. In the end I was finally given the choice, and there was no way I was leaving Forks with my mother. Leaving Edward just wasn't a possibility. My father stayed for me, but in the end, the town held too much memories for him to bear and when I'd turned 18 he'd moved to another town no so far away but far enough for us not to see each other a lot. I knew I reminded him of my mother way too much for his own sanity and even if he'd always tried to hide it, I knew he had problem dealing with his misery when I was around.

"In case of emergency call: me." He continued and I was grateful for his attempts to cheer me up. *I hate hospitals.* He hadn't left my side for a minute since we'd arrived. I only vaguely remembered the events between my fall and this bed. I definitely didn't remember Carlisle performing 10 stitches on my leg and I was **very** grateful for that.

I wasn't quite present because of the pain medication but I was happy to see Alice and Julian with fresh clothes. It was the middle of the night I'd expected them to go to bed. When they realized that I was in fact okay they relaxed a little. Julian held my hand tightly and Alice tried to change my mind.

"If you're not up for our meeting with Esme I'm sure she'll understand. Can you believe the wedding is already so close? I tried to convince her that we needed more time but she said that she didn't want it to get out of proportions. Anyway she had no problem booking the hotel she wanted it's very intimate and also a couple of miles into the woods." Alice incessant ramble made me smile. She'd been caught up a lot in the wedding and she didn't even notice it. She liked it that much. If she wasn't so passionate about fashion, wedding planner would have been a good career for her.

"Edward, I brought the Volvo it's parked right out front." She said as she gave him the keys.

"So when are you getting out of here?" Julian asked.

"She just needs to have the okay from Carlisle. He must be caught up somewhere else otherwise we'd already be out of here." Edward answered for me.

"I asked Bella." Julian said curtly and I noticed the tension in the room. I gave Alice a curious look but she subtly shook her head. I decided to ask about it later. I was in no condition to deal with any kind of conflict. The nurse entered the room and distracted me. She looked at Edward first.

"Hey kiddo you're so grown up it's making me feel all old." She greeted Edward. Helen was the nicest woman after Esme; she'd been working here for ages. She was probably the closest to Edward's father during his career at the hospital.

"Hey Helen, how's your daughter doing?" Edward asked with a dashing smile.

"She misses her favourite teacher. Will you start teaching again soon?"

"For you I'll start this week." Helen laughed and shook her head.

"You're exactly like your brother. Well not quite. You're even more gorgeous than he is but don't tell him I said that. And Bella, you are so beautiful." She said turning towards me.

"She's nothing compared to you Helen." Edward grinned and Helen laughed even harder.

"I know you're only saying that so that I let you stay with her. I'm afraid your friends will have to go." She looked around to Alice and Julian and she gasped.

"Little Alice Cullen, my oh my girl you haven't changed a bit." Alice smiled but I could tell she didn't remember Helen at all.

"Can I go home?" I asked pleadingly.

"Not quite. Dr. Cullen should be here shortly and he'll be happy to find you conscious." I blushed. I was such a baby when it came to blood. She went to go get Carlisle and I said goodbye to Alice and Julian.

"I can wait if you want." He offered.

"No it's all right just go home. Alice needs a ride. Anyway we're almost done and you'd have to wait in the waiting room." I sensed the weird tension again as he looked to Edward. He kissed me goodnight and Alice waved goodbye.

Carlisle signed my release form ten minutes later and I was happy that he offered to change my bandage at his house. I really didn't need to spend more time at the hospital than necessary. Edward insisted to carry me to the car even if Carlisle had assured me my ability to walk was fine.

"You barely have the ability to walk on normal circumstances Bells; I don't want to risk it." Edward mocked me as he put me on the ground beside his car. I didn't argue more because I was really sleepy. We went to bed almost as soon as we arrived.

"Bells please don't do that again." He mumbled before going to sleep.

"You mean the falling, the bleeding, or the fainting? I teased him.

"I mean scaring the hell out of me." He reached for my hand and squeezed it forcefully.

I woke up pretty late and called Rose and Julian and finally Alice. I didn't want to cancel our evening with Esme and Alice was delighted.

I came to get her and drove us to the manor.

"Did something happen yesterday while I was out of it? Edward and Julian seemed kind of angry." I asked her. It had been bugging me since I'd been up.

"They had an argument about who was going to go in the ambulance with you." She admitted.

"Oh. Do you think it was because of the late hour or…"

"Bella honestly I think there's more to it." Her tone convinced me it was something serious.

"What do you mean?" I parked the car and we got out.

"I've been noticing weird vibes, from both of them. I don't know but they're developing a sort of… rivalry when it comes to you and yesterday it kind of blew up." I sighed. I didn't notice things like this. I was mad at myself from letting it get big enough for Alice to see it. I should have known before her and dealt with it.

"You warned me it would happen. God I'm almost socially inadequate." I was pissed off at myself.

"Bella wait I didn't say it was your fault." She tried to comfort me.

"You told me over and over again that Julian would get jealous of Edward and I didn't listen." She seemed to debate wit herself but finally agreed.

"Maybe it's not that bad." She started but I cut her off.

"Alice, it's okay. I actually noticed something weird myself last week when Edward got home and Julian and I were together." I could tell she was relieved that I believed her.

"Bella, I don't want to push it, but did you ever think that maybe that jealousy could go both ways?" She tentatively added. I frowned. Edward had no reason what so ever to be jealous of Julian. We still saw each other a lot, more than last year.

"I don't think Edward could be jealous of anybody." I honestly answered.

"Yeah you're probably right. You are often oblivious but I'm a real paranoiac. Come on let's go see Esme." She laughed it off and I followed her inside.

**Review please I need it !! ;) ****Thanks to everyone for being so great this story gets way more feedback than I'd ever dreamed off. **

**Spoilers alert don't read the rest if you don't want to know.**

**A lot of people have been asking me: **

**1) Did Edward already realize his feelings? No. I assure you when that happens you'll know for sure.**

**2) Who is going to realize first? Edward. I think it's obvious that he's closer to it than Bella. **

**3) Is Julian cheating on Bella? No. **

**4) Can we see more A/J: I love a/j too but I have little time to write and a lot of pressure (for readers but also myself lol) to make the E/B happen. **

**5) Are Julian and Bella breaking up soon ? … Yes ;)**** but I guess it's not soon enough **


	34. Glimpses of evil Edward

**I survived my finals and so I'm back on track with the story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter I had a lot of fun writing it. **

Edward

_**Diabolique**_

_**Monday**_

I was imposing my presence upon my favourite couple, acting totally oblivious to Julian's hints that he liked to be left alone with Bella. We barely had 20 minutes left until next class anyway.

"Do you want to stop by tonight? We could watch a movie or something?" Julian asked. Bella looked torn. I smirked. I was so evil.

"Sorry I sort of have plans with Edward tonight." I looked at Julian smugly.

"Tomorrow then?" The annoyance was almost palpable in his tone. I kept grinning.

"Oh my god! Don't hate me I'm supposed to have diner with Esme and Alice."

"Are you available at all this week?"

"Well I'm sort of busy all week but we can try to see each other after diner tomorrow. Just come by the apartment around nine." She tried her best to recover from being a bad girlfriend and looked at me curiously. I smiled sheepishly.

Bella hadn't noticed it before it was too late but I'd made sure she was booked all week so Julian would be pissed. He gave me a dirty look while Bella was fumbling in her bag. Yes, I'd done it on purpose and was very proud of myself. Rose was showing us her car Wednesday. Alice had bought tickets for Bella and herself to a fashion show Thursday and everyone wanted to go out Friday night. No alone time for Bella and Julian. Bella wouldn't mind it even if she noticed. Julian on the other hand…

Since the incident at the bar I could barely tolerate his presence but I preferred annoying him than not seeing him. I'd been so close to attack him physically last Friday I'd made up all kind of excuses in my mind. No need to say that I had trouble censoring my growing hatred for him. Bella excused herself to the bathroom.

"I know what you're trying to do." He just said and I didn't feel the need to answer. I just kept smiling. Why had I decided to go out of my way to anger him? *I could lie to myself and say that I'm testing him, or that I sense he deserves it but the truth is…I like it.*

_**Tuesday**_

A heard a knock on the door. I figured it was him. I was lying on the couch half naked studying while Bella was making chocolate chip cookies. I'd noticed early on that any lack of clothing in Bella's presence infuriated him. I was rewarded by a murderous look. I waited a reasonable amount of time before my next line. I didn't want to be totally obvious. When Julian asked if she still wanted to watch a movie I stood up.

"Sorry you guys I won't be in the way I'll just go in my room." I walked slowly towards my door. I faked being surprised at the sight of my bed.

"Oh, that's right, my sheet are still in the dryer. Bella can I invade your room? I'll study on your bed."

"Yes no problem." She was checking on her cookies and I'm not even sure she heard me. I stole a glance at Julian. I was right to think he also disliked any associations between me and Bella's bed. He'd freak out if he knew I slept there half the time… and that the other half she'd just sleep in my bed but I was sensing that was a line I couldn't cross. That wasn't something that would look innocent in his eyes. I wondered if Bella ever planned to tell him.

_**Wednesday**_

"You're really going to eat all of this?" Bella asked me sceptically as I put another piece of pizza on my plate. We were getting our food and I'd been starving all morning. I'd overslept and didn't get breakfast. Julian was saving us a table and he seemed to be frustrated that I'd got to wait in line with Bella. I usually missed group lunch on Wednesdays but my class had finished early.

"Edward Cullen there you are I've been looking for you all morning." I froze at the sound of Tanya's voice and glanced at Bella, pleading her to stay while I endured this conversation.

"Hi Tanya." I answered with my best fake smile. After arranging my meeting with Chris Thompson she'd become even more obvious with her flirting and I was desperate for it to stop. She interrupted Bella as she was about to greet her too.

"I've arranged for you to stay at the Allegro Hotel from Friday to Monday. There's quite a lot going on that week-end. The violinists have something wonderful prepared and you're obviously welcome to attend all the recitals. Chris will meet you at the after party Friday night and you'll have the chance to play for him Saturday afternoon." It was ironic that Tanya was the one arranging that week-end for me since I couldn't stand her. I just nodded. Bella seemed totally insulted that Tanya was ignoring her. They'd met a couple of times.

"Thanks, it sounds wonderful." I smiled again.

"I also wanted to tell you that I've changed my mind. I'll be attending most of the events. I couldn't possibly let my favourite student go all alone…" She suggestively stated, touching my arm slightly. What on earth would it need for her to back off? I was seven year younger than her for god's sake. I was about to say something when Bella grabbed my hand firmly.

"Edward has already asked me to go with him. I can't wait." She smiled brightly leaning into me and I put my arm around her waist. *Bella is a saint.* I thought before excusing ourselves to Tanya, pointing to our food.

"You're my hero Swan." I said quietly as we walked away.

"You're welcome." She grinned; proud of herself.

"I can't believe she'll be there all week-end." I whined.

"I'll protect you." Bella joked as she sat beside Julian. He seemed totally freaked out. I smirked at the idea that he'd seen everything.

"What was that about?" He asked dryly.

"It was Edward's teacher, she's disgusting. She wants to sleep with him." She answered casually, grabbing a bite from her pizza.

_**Thursday**_

I was doing my homework at the kitchen table when I heard a knock on the door. Alice had the tendency not to knock so it was obviously not her. I opened the door.

"Is Bella still here?" Julian asked curtly and I nodded. I let him in.

"Edward, I need you for a second." Bella called out from her bedroom. She was listening to my CD loudly so I doubted that she'd heard Julian come in. I entered her room closing the door behind me.

"Can you zip me up?" She asked holding her hair up but not moving an inch from her spot. I noticed she was wearing heels.

"Alice should have been more cautious. I won't be there to catch you if you fall." I pointed out as I zipped her dress.

"Yeah I know but apparently you can't go to a high fashion show without a high fashion look." Bella said mimicking Alice. She was really stunning.

"Julian's here to see you." I said, getting my phone from my pocket. As Bella went out to greet her boyfriend, I called my sister.

"Hello?"

"Alice, Bella's injured. She can't wear heels. Just bring her some high fashion flats." I hung up without giving her the chance to argue. I joined the happy couple in the living room. I noticed Julian was staring at Bella's dress. The lust in his eyes was obvious and I didn't like it. I couldn't picture them having sex and I surely didn't want their relationship to become more serious. Bella's lullaby started playing on the stereo as I sat back in front of my books.

"Wow what is that it's amazing." Julian said and I frowned. I didn't him to hear my music. Especially not this piece.

"It's Edward's work." Bella said proudly. Julian's face fell. Clearly he didn't want to like my music either.

"I called it Bella's lullaby." I added innocently, unable to resist. I just loved torturing him.

_**Friday**_

Instead of going out we'd decided to have dinner at Rose and Alice's place. Emmett had insisted on cooking and surprisingly enough he was good at it. I guess with Rose being totally useless in a kitchen he needed to cook if he didn't want to eat his meat raw. Still; the sight of Emmett and Bella arguing over which pepper complimented the meat better was hilarious. After diner we all collapse in the living room. We'd all ate too much. Well all but Julian who had his own French way to eat. I'd also had too much wine and I could tell I wasn't the only one. Alice tried to convince us to play truth or dare but we all groaned and she let it go. After filling up our glasses, Rose proposed a round of "I never" and got more enthusiasm. At least we didn't have to get up. I'd probably end up wasted but I agreed. After the usual questions the game really started when I decided to embarrass my dear sister.

"I've never made out with an Italian waiter on a ferry to Greece." I started and Alice gave me a murderous look. Everyone laughed but Jasper. I wondered why.

"I've never had sex in Venice." She retorted and I drank as well as Rose. Everyone turned to look at her.

"What? I went there for a photo shoot." She defended herself. She reached out to me for a high five. Rose was so much like me. The game went on and I found myself forced to drink more than the others.

"I've never wanted to change anything about my body." Rose boasted and Bella, Emmett and Alice drank.

"I'm too short." Alice whined.

"I intimidate everyone." Emmett added.

We all turned to Bella for her explanation.

"I hate a lot of things about my body." She stated vaguely.

"Come on Bella, tell us." Emmett said grinning.

"Okay fine I have a horrible birthmark." She complained. I knew what she was talking about.

"I didn't know you had a birthmark." Alice said.

"She's lying. Bells it's not horrible it's actually adorable." I insisted. I didn't like the idea of her wanting to change anything about herself.

"He's right." Rose agreed.

"Show us Bella." Alice demanded. Bella suddenly became bright red. She glanced grudgingly at me and Rose. Julian seemed very interested to see it. She tried to get out of it but Alice was really curious. I almost felt bad for her but I couldn't wait to see Julian's face.

"It's not in a place visually accessible." She finally sighed. Emmett laughed hysterically at her deep red blush. Rose suddenly had a guilty look on her face and Alice glanced at Julian worryingly. He was staring at me, clearly understanding the meaning of all of this. I'd seen Bella's body in place he hadn't. I'd seen her naked. A weird energy floated in the room until Rose had a bright idea.

"I've never seem Alice naked." Bella and I glanced at each other and drank from our glasses. We'd seen Alice naked when we were little. I guess Rose wanted to point out that when you'd known a person for all your life, there was no possible way you'd never seen her naked. It calmed the tension down a little. However, nothing prevented Julian from eyeing me suspiciously through the rest of the evening.

**I hope you all like it. I'm really tired so if there's a lot of errors please forgive me. I know you were all anxious to read more. **


	35. Don't Bella

**So big chapter here I expect to be praised ;) **

**Bella**

_**Cauchemar**_

It was Thursday afternoon and Alice was finally done with me. All week I'd been going here or there to help her fix the wedding details and I was exhausted. A busy Alice isn't an easy Alice. I changed into something more comfortable and poured myself a glass of water. I was looking forward to a calm night before I got on a plane to Chicago tomorrow. I was really excited about it but at the same time I felt guilty for abandoning my boyfriend yet again. The last two weeks had been so busy Julian and I had practically had no time alone. It was confusing to spend so little time together. I was almost feeling like our relationship was going backwards; especially after the drama Friday night. I needed to have a simple diner just the two of us and tonight I was finally getting that. I smiled at the thought. I certainly wanted us to go forward. Sex was still the thing I was most concerned about but Alice had assured me that Julian would understand if it was just about that. I knew she was right. I also had a bigger issue to fix fast. The tension between him and Edward was becoming undeniable, even to me. I'd considered talking to Edward about it but I'd come to the conclusion that the problem was originating from Julian's jealousy towards him. He was reacting strongly to every detail. So what if Edward had seen me naked? Of course when we were younger this wasn't even weird but when you spend so much time with someone you're bound to walk in on them while they're changing. I wasn't embarrassed to admit that I'd walked in on him way more times than he'd walked in on me. Anyway, like Rose had put it when she'd "accidentally" seen Edward naked, sometimes, a girl is allowed to be curious. I smile at the memory as I dialled Julian's number. He answered on the first ring.

"Oui allo?"

"It's me." I replied to his French greeting.

"Oh Bella, sorry, I thought it was my mom calling me back." His voice was happier than usual. He seemed excited about something.

"So she's back from China?" I asked.

"Well not really. That's why I'm so excited. Bella, my parents are coming to visit on their way back to France. I want you to meet them." He announced so fast it took me a second to understand. I smiled. I knew how much he loved his parents. We were definitely going forward this time.

"Wow that's great when?" I rejoiced honestly.

"This week end." As the words entered my brain my guilt crushed back into me like a ciment wall.

"Oh." I couldn't tell him. He was going to hate me. Well it was partly his fault for not remembering my trip but he was so excited he probably had forgotten all about Chicago.

"What?" I winced when I realised he still didn't understand. Then my eyes opened wide. I was trying to recall exactly when I'd told him about Chicago and my mind was blank. Oh my god had I been so wrapped up in my own stuff that I'd forgotten to tell him?

"I'm going to Chicago this weekend. With Edward. I thought you knew…" I closed my eyes and prayed that it would ring a bell. It didn't.

"No I didn't and for what?" His voice wasn't happy anymore, it was cold and angry.

"Oh my god I'm really confused I really thought I'd told you. I'm so sorry. It's an important meeting for his music. We're leaving tomorrow morning." I blurted all out. I wanted him to understand but how could he? This time the blame was on me.

"Don't go." I was taken aback by the need in his voice. He was pleading me not to go, to stay and meet his parents. To finally give our relationship the attention it deserved. But I took one look at Edward reading in his bed and I knew where my loyalty laid.

"I promised him. I have to go. I'm really sorry…" I knew nothing could make this better. But I tried anyway.

"It's always about Edward." His cold voice was back again and it cut like steel. I needed time to think. I needed to come up with a way to redeem myself.

"Listen this is no conversation to have over the phone. We're going to diner tonight we'll talk then." I began tentatively. I so didn't want him to be mad at me or to start a fight. I was relieved when he sighed and agreed. I put the phone back on the table. What could I do to make this better? *And how on earth did I forget to tell him about this week end?* I debated whether or not I should tell Edward but decided against it. I really didn't want him to think I was hinting for him to relieve me of my promise. I was about to go into my room when he turned to look at me.

"What's wrong Bells?" He asked, clearly reading the mood on my face.

"Nothing much. I'm just tired." I half lied. I didn't want to think about Julian anymore. I wanted to forget all about it until tonight. I walked over to him to see what he was reading. He caught my arm and pulled me over him, snuggling me.

"Take a nap with me." He looked right into my eyes and I couldn't deny him anything when he used that look.

"Okay." I agreed. He kept staring.

"Why are you looking at me like this?" I knew that look; it was his "I'll charm Bella into doing anything I want" look.

"No reason." His serious face turned into his trademark crooked grin and I smiled back.

"Are you excited about tomorrow? Or nervous?" I personally had butterflies in my stomach at the thought of him playing for this important man.

"With you around to charm the guy I have nothing to worry about." He said, playing with my hand, his voice all… velvety.

"Ok you can cut it out what do you want?" I mused, now sure that something was going on. He held my suspicious gaze.

"Nothing. Honest." He seemed confused. I realised he didn't know he'd been using his charming voice. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt… for the time being. Maybe it was just his new, sneakier way to ask a favour. After all he was a Cullen.

"Alice packed for me can you believe it?" I said changing the subject. A glint of mockery appeared in his green eyes.

"Alice? Packing clothes for you? Unbelievable." He joked. He was right it shouldn't have surprised me. I pouted anyway at his smartass remark.

"Whatever." I tried to get back on my feet but his hold around me tightened.

"You said you'd take a nap with me." He seriously stated like I'd swore myself to something immensely important.

"I don't want to anymore." I bluffed.

"You don't have a choice anyway." He said rolling over me, pinning me down, practically choking me.

"Okay you win." I managed to say from under him. He removed his weight from me but his hold didn't loosened. We talked a little but after a couple of minutes his breathing became so even I knew he'd fallen asleep. So I closed my eyes too.

I woke up reluctantly. I felt so good, like I was surrounded by warm, soft, fluffy pillows. I checked the alarm clock. I had very little time left to get ready. Anyway I wasn't sure if I should get ready for a date or a war. Edward was sleeping like a log so I sneaked out of his room and went to take a shower. After I'd blew my hair dry I realized I had forgot my outfit in my bedroom. I grumbled a little and hastily put the soccer shirt I'd been sleeping in over my shoulders. I was on my way to my room when I heard a gasp. I shrieked and turned around to see Julian waiting by the door and my heartbeat calmed down a little.

"Oh my god Bella I'm so sorry it was unlocked and I figured you just hadn't heard me knock so I…"

Then his features hardened. He seemed to take in my appearance and somehow the fact that I was naked under my pyjama seemed to make him… angry? His stare was so intense and inappropriate I couldn't speak. I blushed from head to toe and just escaped inside my bedroom. Once there I took a deep breath.

"I'll be out in a minute." I finally managed to say. I went in front of the mirror to see what could possibly have made him react this way and for a second I didn't see anything. I was so embarrassed that he'd caught me half naked. I thought about calling Alice and the instant her name crossed my mind I saw it. I was naked under a shirt that spelled Cullen. Could it be it? Could Julian actually be mad to see me in this? It was silly. I got ready slowly, almost afraid to go back out there. Afraid that Edward was too much for him to bear. Afraid that the only real relationship I'd ever had would end because of this. I felt helpless thinking that I couldn't change it. Edward was a part of me and I would never want to let him go.

I went out of my room and smiled, hoping the tension would be gone. I was wrong. Julian was still upset. I couldn't find the words to arrange things so I said nothing. He was tensed all the way to the restaurant. It was the one we'd been to on our first date and I'd hope we could walk there but it was raining. I stared openly at the angry frown on my boyfriend's face. All the things Alice had said to me swirled in my mind.

My phone rang, it was Edward. I considered not getting it since it would surely add to Julian's frustration but I couldn't.

"Hey." I closed my eyes for a moment, hoping that this had just been a dream and I'd wake up beside Edward in a minute.

"Where did you disappear to?" His voice was thick with sleep. And worried.

"What?" I glanced at Julian from the corner of my eyes. His fists were clenched.

"Maybe I'm crazy but when I fell asleep you were there with me." I realised I hadn't told him about my plans. Julian scoffed. I was horrified when I noticed the volume of my cell was set way up high and he'd heard Edward's last sentence.

"I had a date. I thought I'd told you. I have to go." I dismissed him almost too quickly.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Yes of course. Bye."

He mumbled a little and cut the line. Julian glared at me.

"How's dear Edward?" He asked curtly.

"Fine." I answered in the same tone. I was getting sick of this.

"Of course." We got out of the car put as soon as we were shielded from the rain I stopped him. Thank god the restaurant had a porch. I couldn't go into that restaurant with him like this.

"Let's talk. What's going on with you?" I asked; desperate for him to just talk to me instead of making snide remarks all the time.

"What's going on with me?" You really think this is my fault?" He roared.

"Well you're acting like a jealous jerk lately." I didn't know where that came from but as soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were true. Rose would have been proud of me. He took a deep breath.

"The real issue here is what's going on between you and your best **friend**." He emphasized sarcastically on the word friend.

"So what if I'm close to my **best **friend?" I retorted.

"He's a **guy** Bella, but I'm sure you noticed." There was no way that I would let him treat me like a child. I deserved his trust.

"Yeah he is; I still don't see your point." Edward and I were friends. We'd never even kissed. How could he doubt me like this?

"It's obvious you're jealous of him." I stated.

"I have every reason to be." What? How could he? *God Bella this isn't going well.*

"Okay, this is going out of hand. Let's clam down a little and…" I began, trying to get something else out of him than spite. He interrupted me.

"Bella don't act like he's not your number one priority. Everyone knows…" *Okay, this is it, he want to fight let's.* I thought.

"Everyone knows what? That Edward and I are close? What's wrong with that?" I exclaimed forcefully.

"We go to school together, we live together, we've known each other for all our lives so WHAT?"

"You don't see how this can worry me?" He asked; his jaw clenched tight.

"Oh my god. You really don't trust me." I said, shocked. I'd never realised he was actually worried that something might happen with Edward. Never. I began to feel hurt. Clearly this was matter of trust and clearly he didn't feel like I was worthy of it.

"It's him I don't trust Bella. He's always around you; he always reminds me that he's closer to you than I could ever be. Have you seen the way he looks at you; the way he **touches** you? He's freaking marking his territory." It was like he'd slapped me in the face.

"He's not…I'm no **territory** to be claimed." I defended myself.

"He doesn't touch you like a friend; he touches you like a **lover**. I don't know what's going on between you two but it sure isn't friendship." He was colder than ice. I began to feel tears well up in my eyes.

"You're the most stubborn person in the world." I cried out.

"Oh cut the crap Bella. I know how you two were before I came along." My mind couldn't keep up with him anymore. I was confused. I was hurt. I knew continuing would only make things harder but I couldn't resist getting to the bottom of this. I wanted to know exactly what he had to say.

"How we were? And how exactly were we?" I defied him to speak his mind. He hesitated. He'd clearly wanted to avoid actually saying what he thought. How horrible could it be?

"You guys were **fuck buddies**. That's right. I said it. I don't know for how long or if you even stopped since we've met but the fact that you can't be honest with me is infuriating." For a minute I just stand there, making sense of these words. They cut so deep inside of me. I felt the tears rolling down my eyes.

"Honest? You think I'm lying to you? You think…" I couldn't manage to say it. It was sickening. *You think I'm sleeping with Edward behind your back.* I took a couple of steps back. I needed space, I needed air. I didn't even wonder why he thought that. He'd probably asked a couple of people and I wasn't even surprised he'd gotten that answer. No what was killing me was that he'd decided to trust them instead of me. I was so angry and hurt I was shaking. Everything he'd said, I'd secretly feared. To him I was the girl who slept with her man whore while she had a boyfriend. He was attacking the most important and holy thing to me. And it was confusing. His harsh words, implying Edward touched me in the wrong way. God, I was going to be sick.

"Just tell the truth Bella. You owe me that much." I could feel I had only a couple of seconds left before all hell broke loose and I'd be unable to form a decent sentence. So I did my best.

"Owe you? I owe you? I don't **owe you** anything. I've said the truth a million times but you're too stubborn to hear it. Do you want me to lie? Would you prefer if I told you that Edward fucked me every night since he's been back? Do you really believe that I could do that to you? I guess it shows what you really think of me." I had to leave. I had to leave right now. I couldn't breathe anymore. I couldn't think anymore. I couldn't feel anything.

"Bella." His tone was pained. Maybe he'd realized how much of an ass he'd been. Whatever. This was broken.

"Don't." I warned him off and walked away. I didn't feel the rain. I didn't feel the cold. This was surely a nightmare. All I knew was that I had to go back to Edward. He'd make it better. Always.

**SO it happened****. I'm really excited. I want to say that Julian will regret this and Bella will make it home safe. Edward next chapter. Till next time, love you guys. REVIEW.**


	36. Love sucks Edward

**I'm really sorry because I can keep up the pace that I wished but I'm afraid I can't do better. ****I have good reasons. I don't want to rush too much into it since it's such a crucial part of the story. You'll have to trust me when I say that I'm doing the best I can and forgive me for not updating a lot. **

Edward

_**Je t'aimais, je t'aime et je t'aimerai**_

I was watching TV in the living room secretly hoping Bella would be back early and I could freak Julian out once again with my half nakedness. It was almost too easy to anger him and I was developing an addiction to it. Somewhere deep in me, I knew it wasn't right. It was bound to end badly but damn remembering him that Bella was mine... *Mine?* I frowned at my own choice of words. *I meant that Bella is closer to me.* I felt a weird sensation creeping inside of me. I couldn't quite grasp what it was but it wasn't pleasant. I switched position a couple of times, trying to feel comfortable but the uneasiness seemed to come from within. I heard the door opening so I thanked god for the distraction and glanced over my shoulder to see if Julian was there. I didn't want to tease him anymore. I didn't want to see him at all. All was forgotten when I saw my best friend entering the apartment completely undone. In a second I was by her side, completely freaked. I looked for signs of physical damage but she seemed fine. Two legs, two arms; no horrible scar or blood dripping on the floor.

"Bella what's wrong?" She was a mess. She'd probably been walking in the rain for a while. I brought her into a bone crushing hug. She was all wet and freezing. With her hair all damped and her red eyes, she made me think of the teenage Bella that had woken me up in the middle of the night to confide that her parents were getting divorced. She still hadn't said a word. I pulled back a little to see if her features could tell me something more. She begged me with her beautiful brown eyes to stay calm and be patient. I understood that this story would take a while to come out. Whatever happened, it wasn't good at all. Anger raised in me at the possibility that Julian was responsible for this but even if my intuition was screaming that he was, I couldn't be sure until she talked.

I brought her into her room and forced her into something drier. The feel of her cold skin against my bare chest was making me shiver so I thought about getting a shirt for me but I wasn't strong enough to leave her for a second. I compromised by enveloping us in a large blanket. It took a while before she talked but I didn't pressure her. Bella was always like this in moments of infinite sadness. She couldn't talk right away, she needed to make sense of the events in her mind otherwise she'd just break down. It was driving me crazy anyhow. I needed to know what was wrong to make it better.

At last she started to speak. I listened to her. I tried to be there for her and make sense of her cries. I got that Julian had implied that she was cheating on him with me. My anger rose high. She was so hurt and shocked I wanted to go kill the jerk. I caught glimpses of the detailed story during the first half hour she cried in my arms shamelessly. As the event became clearer and clearer, I realized it wasn't just about Julian. All he'd said to her had brought something bigger on the surface. All the lies people had been saying between themselves for years mirroring in Julian's eyes… It was too much for her to bear alone. So I was there to split the burden. Like I'd away been and would always be. Right by her side. So what if everyone thought we were friends with benefits, fuck buddies, whatever they called it these days. I didn't care. However Bella was more sensitive to these kinds of things. I wish that I could shield her from the world, that I could ensure that she never felt anything but happiness. I was usually pretty good at protecting her but I'd done a poor job in this particular case. As the story went on, I couldn't dismiss the idea that my jackass attitude from last week had maybe brought all of this on her. I still thought Julian was an asshole but the thought that I could be partly responsible for her horrible evening was breaking my heart. I tortured myself for what felt like an eternity with the possibility that a part of her could be blaming me for what'd happened. I just had to know.

"Bells, do you think my behaviour influenced his opinion? Maybe I've been too…" But she put her small hand over my mouth, silencing me. She crawled into my lap; looking deep into my eyes.

"Edward, you didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand me?" I nodded at her imperative tone. It was the longest she'd gone without bursting in tears. She hid her face in my neck and sighed.

"I've got to stop; I'm drowning you in all those tears." She said trying to make a joke.

"It's okay you know, I have sponge genes." I joked quietly.

"You're always exactly what I need you to be." She solemnly stated. I wiped a tear from her cheekbone with a kiss.

"We take care of each other Bells." My heart was pounding in my chest. God I wanted her to be smiling again. I noticed I was shaking. I didn't know what to do and the uneasiness from before was back.

"I need a very hot shower." She interrupted my thoughts and I nodded. Her warmth was soon gone and a shiver coursed my body. She grabbed her favourite towel and made her way to the bathroom. I paced around the kitchen, trying to pinpoint the source of my turmoil and getting frustrated by not finding anything. When I heard a knock on the door, I'd never imagine that I'd find **him** on the other side. *He has a death wish.* I thought as I stared blankly at Julian standing in the hallway like nothing happened. My hand grabbed the door firmly. He was not getting in.

"What are **you** doing here?" My voice was quiet but murderous. I was ready to hit him. I'd been aching to hit him for a long time now. On the other hand I didn't want Bella to know he was here.

"I want to talk to her." He asked trying to force the door open.

"Over my dead body." I hissed. I went in the hall closing the door behind me.

"It could be arranged." He suggested cockily. I snickered.

"Don't flatter yourself. The only reason you're still standing is because the sight of your blood on the carpet **might** upset her."

"Let me talk to her." Okay, he was really not getting it. I could either cause a scene and beat the hell out of him or get rid of him quickly and pray Bella wasn't out of the shower yet. I decided with a sigh that the second option, though less appealing, would be better for her. She hated physical violence. I could always catch him later.

"Now is not the time. If you care at all about her you'll give her the space she needs." I hoped that he felt guilty enough to bend to my very logical order. He cringed but started walking away.

"I may have been an idiot tonight Cullen, but you're no better for her than I am. Hell, you don't even know what you've got" He sneered before disappearing around the corner. I took a moment to calm down and re-entered the apartment. I was relieved to hear the water running. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I considered making her something to eat but quickly dismissed the idea. She was way too emotional to eat. She'd probably want to go to bed. I really needed a minute to gather my thoughts and figure out why my heart ached so much.

She came out of the bathroom looking more beautiful than ever. And so vulnerable it was killing me. We went to bed but she couldn't sleep.

"Love sucks." She breathed.

"Yeah it does beautiful." I kissed her forehead sweetly. She seemed so tiny in my arms tonight. We stared in each other eye's for support and I let my mind drift away.

_

* * *

_

_"Love sucks." A teenage brunette with braces stated to a less bulky but equally handsome boy with copper hair. They were lying next to each other in his bed. She'd been crying but Edward's presence soothed her like no other. She hated her parents. Especially her mother. Abandoning her and her dad like that was horrible. _

_"Yeah it does." The boy vehemently agreed. She nodded. He had had his share of problems. After all, his mother has run away too and it'd killed his dad. She shivered at the thought that it could happen to Charlie too. The boy sensed her worries and hugged her. _

_"I never want to fall in love." The girl stated like she was making a vow._

_"I don't think that I ever could." The boy replied seriously, taking the hand of the girl in his. _

_"It's all nonsense anyway. Love hurts. We never hurt each other." She added._

_"We're best friends, it's way better." He answered with confidence. _

_"I wish it could stay that way." Bella sighed. _

_"It will Bells. Best friends forever." Edward promised staring into her eyes. She believed him. He would always be there and love… well love was overrated. _

_"Best friends forever." She breathed and just like that, life was better again._

_Hush_

_Its okay_

_Dry your eyes_

_Dry your eyes_

_Soulmate dry your eyes_

_Dry your eyes_

_Soulmate dry your eyes_

Sleeping with ghosts - **Placebo**

**Okay**** so there are two choices, I can keep posting as I write the chapters or I can assure you I won't be posting until August and prepare a couple of chapters so when that time comes you'll have more to read. Tell me what you prefer and remember that I am truly sorry. **


	37. Rambo and Xena Rosalie

**So I'm so ashamed of myself. But I really don't have time. I really rather wait then give you something crappy. I used the little time I had to work on the plot and fix some mistakes in earlier chapters. There is good news though. First, you guys are amazing ****(Cullen's girl is in the 1000+ reviews omg) and I want to thank every reviewer. I'm sorry I don't reply to everyone but be sure I read them all and they all make my day. Also I'll be back in school in a month so I'll be back full force. Yay. **

**This chapter is a Rose chapter, which I love to write. **

**Rosalie**

_**Oups**_

"God baby your phone's ringing." Emmett groaned almost in pain.

"What the hell?" My mind was hazy with sleep. I glanced at my alarm clock. 6:45. Couldn't be Alice. She had been well warned that if she woke me up early again I wouldn't bring her to any photo shoot. That or I'd kill her. I looked at the ID. Edward. I groaned as I grabbed the annoying piece of technology that was ruining one of the best dreams ever.

"What?" I asked curtly. I wasn't a morning person. I almost made a sarcastic remark about how Edward would never be a father after what I'd do to him but some part of my half functioning brain knew he'd never call me if it wasn't urgent.

"Rose, got no time for your bitchy mood so listen closely. I'm supposed to leave with Bella at eleven but I have to run an errand. I can't leave her alone after what happened to her last night. She would really need a breakfast with you girls. Now my freaking sister is not answering her cell so come over and I'll go wake Alice on my way." He said and I tried to process it. I didn't ask what'd happened. After last week it was pretty obvious that the Julian thing had blown up.

"Okay, fine, no problem. I'm coming ASAP." I agreed to his plan while I got up and started the coffee machine.

He hung up.

"What a rude bastard." I spoke aloud. I put on the emergency outfit I had always ready in my backpack when I slept at Emmett's.

"What's going on?" Emmett asked half sleeping.

"911 situation with Bella. Don't get up." I explained as kissed him quickly on the lips. Something was bothering me but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I poured myself a coffee to go and got into my car. As I was driving, the sense that I was missing something immensely important wouldn't go away. I climbed the stairs up to my former apartment and thought hard. Edward was out the door the moment I stepped in.

"She'll be up in a minute."

"Wow you look like shit." I stated matter-of-factly. He was pale with deep dark circles under his eyes and a big frown. I'd never seen him less than perfect so that was a change.

"Thanks Rosie, thanks very much." His annoyed tone wasn't like him. In fact he hadn't talked to me like this since we'd learned to like each other.

"I hope Alice kicks your ass for being such a jerk." I yelled at his back. As I said her name out loud I realised what was bugging me. Edward was going to my apartment to find Alice. Alice wasn't alone. *OH MY GOD Rose you're an idiot.* I thought as I quickly grabbed my cell and dialled my brother's number. *Jazz pick up pick up pick up.* I walked nervously around the counter, images of his imminent death coming to my mind. I could almost hear the news lady "pissed off college student slaughters young teacher after finding him in bed with his teenage sister". I calculated quickly if Jasper would have time to leave the building. Probably not. Edward's driving was crazier than mine.

"Hello?" My brother's voice allowed me to breathe again. I could tell he was already up. Alice really had an influence on him.

"Jazz, Edward's coming. You don't have time to leave so HIDE." I kept it short and simple. I heard him curse out loud and the line went dead. There was nothing else for me to do but wait so I crashed on the sofa with a sigh. I'd been a fan of this secret relationship, thinking it was really cool to be the only one to know but damn, that was too much drama. Even for me. Given the mood he was in, there's no doubt Edward would have gone all Rambo on Jazz. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if this "errand he had to do" was actually to wreck Julian's face. I realised I still didn't know what had happened so I went to check on Bella. Edward was right, she was resurfacing.

"Hey sweetie." I softly whisperer as I went to sit by her.

"Rose?" I could see the now dry paths her tears had left on her cheeks. She opened her eyes and frowned. I could see her search for Edward from the corner of her eyes.

"He's running an errand." I simply said.

"I hope this "errand" doesn't end in a blood bath." She sighed, not denying that it was probable.

"He didn't say. Promise." I assured her.

"He better not, it's not going to make anything better." This was pure Bella; no matter how hurt she was she'd never want anything bad to happen to Julian. When I'd been dumped she was all "I'll call his parole officer" or "He better not walk alone at night in my neighbourhood" but when it came to her she had the biggest heart. I gave her a couple of minutes to wake up. When I felt like she was with me 100% I asked:

"Do you want to talk, about what happened?" She nodded weakly. We heard the door close. I let out an inner sigh of relief. If Alice was already here then Jazz was alive.

"I'm here." She joined us on the bed. She looked like she'd run all the way over here but she had stopped on the way to get three hot chocolate from the coffee shop. She hugged Bella while I started drinking mine. It wasn't coffee but damn it helped.

"So what happened?"

"We broke up, it was a mess." I could see she wanted to tell us but didn't know where to begin.

"Take all the time you need." Alice said with a smile.

"I'd forgotten to tell him about Chicago." She blurted out; her voice full of guilt and anguish.

"It's not that bad." I stated, curious of how this could lead to a break up. It seemed innocent enough.

"Yes it's not like you'd planned something with him." Alice agreed but Bella shook her head.

"Guys I've been talking for weeks about this, but not to him. His parents were coming; he wanted me to meet them. He asked me not to go."

"He should have known you couldn't break the promise you'd made to Edward." Alice stated. Yes, he should have known but I almost felt sorry for the guy. Meeting the parents, especially when they live in France, is a big step.

"Exactly, when I told him I couldn't cancel he was pretty angry, I asked him to come get me so we could talk about it at diner."

"Let me guess, he gave you an ultimatum?" I tried to guess.

"I wish. When he arrived I didn't hear him knock and he saw me wandering naked under my "Cullen" pyjama." Alice and I both winced; we knew how boys were delicate about these kinds of things. We were diving into the real problem.

"He was furious after that and when we got to the restaurant I confronted him about his jealousy. That's when he said…" We each took one of her hands in ours to encourage her. It seemed really painful. She took a deep breath.

"He said I should just admit I've been sleeping with Edward all this time." My mouth fell open. *Oh my f***** god.* All my compassion was forgotten. *The jerk. The insect.* I tried to find the right sequence of insults to describe that disgusting jerk but Alice beat me to the punch.

"What?" She shrieked. She stood up from her whole 4 feet 7 height and growled solemnly between her gritted teeth:

"I'm going to kick his ass." Her tiny fists were clenched and her brows were furrowed creating an expression I'd never seen on sweet Alice's face: pure rage. She looked so much like a cartoon version of Edward my own anger was forgotten. Bella and I looked at each other and we started laughing uncontrollably. Alice got annoyed, but the more she insisted that she was serious the harder we laughed. She finally crossed her arms and pouted. Bella and I eventually caught our breath.

"You girls are the best." Bella said with a smile, motioning us in for a group hug. I squeezed them both in my arms.

"I could do it you know." Alice reiterated grudgingly.

"Of course you could." I said trying to keep my voice serious but I cracked a smile when I heard Bella giggle.

"Rose, keep an eye on Xena while I go to the bathroom." She joked. As soon as we heard the door close Alice burst.

"It was way too close. Thank god Jazz was parked in the back."

"Did you notice how murderous Edward looked?"

"Yeah but the thing is, I don't believe he was thinking about Julian at all. He was mad at himself." I didn't doubt her. Alice had this crazy intuition that never failed her.

"But why?" Edward often blamed himself when something bad happened to Bella. I mean he really is the brooding type. But in this case I didn't understand.

"No idea." Alice was as lost as I was.

We decided to make pancakes with a lot of ice cream. We didn't talk about Julian. When Edward came back we all searched his face for sign of bruising or his hands for traces of blood but there was nothing. His hair was still wet so no doubt he was fresh out of the shower.

"How are my favourite ladies?" He said with a smile and I almost fell off my chair. Wow his mood had improved in the last 2 hours. We all eyed him suspiciously.

"Don't worry I just went home to take my partitions and I practiced a little. Carlisle and Esme were out so I took a shower there." He explained. He went over Bella's shoulder and stole a bite in her plate. His arms closed around her neck.

"Ready beautiful?" Bella looked nervous.

"I shouldn't go Edward. I'll just weight you down." She said and I could tell she was dead serious. It surprised me a little but come to think of it, it was typical.

"Are you kidding?" He used my best bewildered voice but I could see his jaw hardened.

"Do you really want me whining all day before your big meeting? I'll stay here with the girls; they have nothing else better to do anyway." She teased. I could see she wouldn't win her case.

"Bella, if you don't come I won't go." He said frowning, his tone clearly implying there was no negotiation possible.

"Don't be ridiculous." She scolded him but he just shrugged.

"Don't give me a reason to be. Bella you're coming with me even if I have to carry you there." She gave him a defying glare but he took a step towards her and positioned himself to lift her up the floor. She finally gave in. Edward gathered their suitcases while Alice did Bella's hair, giving her all the instructions to avoid wrecking them.

"Bella I can't wait for you to see the dress I packed for tonight yet. It's adorable." Alice squealed and Bella groaned. Alice winked at me. So this was **the** dress. Alice had been talking all week about how she'd found the perfect dress and how she hoped it'd bring Edward to finally see the truth. From the strange look in his eyes when Bella grabbed his hand before they left, I realised he didn't need the dress.

**So****? **


	38. Would I ever lie to you ? Edward

**Hey guys I'm so excited for this chapter I'm like Alice in**** shopping land ;). I strongly recommend (since I haven't updated in so long) to read the last few chapters again and really getting back into the story because this is a big one. **

**Also I've decided what I'm going to do after Cullen's girl (it's not near to an end but still) and I definitely want you guys along for the ride. Don't worry though I'm not going to split my efforts. So I'll probably put up a summary for "Us" soon and I'll need to know if you guys are intrigued. **

**Check out my profile page too because from now on I'll put a teaser up and reveal the next POV as soon as I'll have started the next chapter. **

Edward

_**Je l'aime à mourir**_

I was relieved to feel the plane lift up into the air. I was so afraid Bella was going to change her mind and decide not to come. I needed her with me for many reasons. First, I could be sure she was okay and second, well the truth is I wouldn't be able to handle the pressure without her. I hadn't slept much last night, feeling too anxious about today and too angry to relax.

"I'm so sorry you're sleep deprived because of me." Bella repeated for the seventh time since she'd noticed the dark circles under my eyes.

"It's nothing." I shrugged.

"I'm a bad friend." She grimaced.

"Stop this nonsense Bells. I'm fine."

I took her in my arms and inhaled deeply. I was already feeling better than this morning so everything would be fine. Except it wasn't. Though Bells was putting on a brave face she was still immensely upset about last night and I could feel it coming through every pore of her skin. I waited until we checked in our room for the week end before confronting her. She was sitting at the edge of the bed when I took her in my arms and gave her a meaningful look.

"You know you can tell me anything." She sighed.

"I don't want to bum you out before your big night." I shook my head.

"I'm only playing tomorrow and I want to be sure your pretty ears will be perfectly happy to hear me do so." I joked playing with her ear. She smiled weakly.

"It just seems so… pointless." She began. I gave her the time she needed.

"I still can't believe what happened you know?" She breathed, on the verge of tears.

"I know." I didn't really. I'd never had anything close to a real relationship and was perfectly content with just her and I against the world… but it would be insensitive of me to say so wouldn't it?

So instead I started rubbing her neck gently. She leaned into me and sighed.

"Thanks." She seemed a little more relaxed at least.

"You're welcome." I placed a quick kiss on her neck.

"How could he base his assumptions on stupid rumours?" Her voice filled with annoyance as the word rumours rolled out of her tongue. She was able to construct her thoughts unlike yesterday but I wished that she'd forgotten about it already. Julian was an idiot and wasting time trying to decipher his wacky brain was just pointless.

"He's a jerk Bells."

"I guess. But what if it's something I did?" She turned to face me and looked so vulnerable it broke my heart. I lost myself in her big brown eyes and framed her face with my hands.

"You didn't do anything wrong Bells." I knew it was true but the sentence echoed in my mind. *What if it's something **I** did?" I asked myself.

"Promise?" She squeaked.

"Would I ever lie to you?" I cracked a smile and so did she.

Without thinking I felt myself leaning towards her. I was always so free around her I almost had a heart attack when I consciously realized I was aiming for her lips. In a mere second my heartbeat sky rocked, our lips brushed but I recovered instinctively by kissing her nose. I couldn't hear what she was saying anymore. I just forced myself to check if she was oblivious to what had –almost- happened. Her mood appeared to be unchanged. I freaked out. Big time. I kept a cool exterior but I felt like hot water what boiling in me. ***Shit. What?*** This was beyond science fiction. ***What the hell**? I tried to kiss Bella. **Oh my god I tried to kiss Bella**. Why? **Why**? I don't kiss Bella. I never kiss Bella. Am I going insane? Did I completely lose my mind? Did I switched dimensions or something? I don't want to kiss Bella. Do I?

*It would be kind of nice... **What?*** I choked at the intensity of my inner monologue. Bella apparently noticed my internal turmoil. ***Damn you Edward Cullen**.*

"Edward?" *Behave Edward, say something.*

"I'm just so angry that you're upset. You should go take a bath I'll go downstairs to cool off a little…" I offered but her face fell.

"A bath sounds nice but I don't really want to be alone right now." Her pouty lips admitted. God she was so sexy when she did that. I kicked myself in the gut mentally. God what was that? Had I become some kind of sex crazed monster ready to hit on his best friend?

"You know what? You go in there and I'll stay right out here." I said kissing her forehead. I was shaking. I hoped she wouldn't notice.

"No it's silly you can go for a walk if you want." She smiled at me and my heart dropped. I needed to figure out what was wrong with me. I hurried downstairs to get a drink. After the third glass it seemed ridiculous for me to be so freaked out by this. It had been a weird 24 hours. It didn't mean anything more than I needed to rest big time.

"Rough day?" I noticed a very beautiful woman in her early twenties was now sitting beside me.

"Kind of." I admitted.

"You look too hot to be having a girl problem." I scoffed at the irony.

"The problem is all on me."

"Well I'd be open to make it better." She said suggestively. She was very hot and definitely my kind of woman. She was almost as striking as Rosalie. She held her hand open for me to take. I wondered if she'd just broken up with her boyfriend and was trying to get back at him or she just found me attractive. It was the kind of things I used to do… before. I hadn't for quite some time now. I was suddenly nauseous.

I felt incredibly guilty to be debating if I should follow this woman when Bella was upset and alone in our room.

"Sorry I can't."

"Well if you change your mind." She trailed off handing me a room key.

I got up and went to the elevator. I contemplated the idea of going back and get laid. Maybe this was all a side effect of being without sex for so long. Like withdrawal or something. I was laying against the elevator back wall my hand clenched into fists for about ten minutes before the notion of pressing my floor button came into my mind.

Bella was sleeping when I got back. Probably better this way the reception wasn't until nine and I was in no condition to entertain her. I was relieved to see the weird feeling towards her was gone even if my self loathing was still intact.

I called room service for a few things I knew she'd enjoy when she'd wake up. Bella was always hungry after a nap.

I went for a quick swim in the hotel pool. I couldn't swim as much as before since I'd moved and I missed it. It helped me to clear my mind and after a while I almost felt normal again. I dried myself up and decided to go wake Bella. She needed time to get ready. She was a girl.

When I entered our suite I noticed she'd taken the milkshake. Strawberry milkshakes were always her favourite when she was upset. I smiled.

"Hey Bells I'm back." I warned her. I took a shower to get all the chlorine water out of the way. I put on my suit while Bella was doing her hair and we were almost ready to go.

"Hey I'm just going to change it shouldn't take long." She stated on her way to the room. I decided to sit on the couch. I was just reaching for the remote when I heard a loud shriek.

She opened the door; her eyes were wide in fear and despair. She was holding an empty glass in her hand.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" I panicked. I took the glass from her and started checking for cuts and scrapes, only to realise there were none. I caught myself staring at her perfect body that wasn't much covered at all. She was wearing the most revealing and delicate white bra I'd ever seen. With matching fucking undies.

"I'm a dead woman walking." It took me a moment to recompose myself.

"What?" * I loath myself.*

"I ruined the dress with my damn milkshake." She whined, hiding her face in my chest. I encircled her waist and felt the soft skin of her lower back under my fingers. God this was so wrong.

"It doesn't matter, Alice probably put another one in your bag just in case." I comforted her.

"Yes I know but she made a big deal that I was to wear this particular one, she's going to be so disappointed." She whispered. Talking about the devil, Alice's ringtone started playing on my phone. Bella always put amusing ringtones on my cell, always changing them. Alice's was these days a wedding march that sounded pretty gloomy. Funny. I would always remember the time she'd put "I'm too sexy" as Rose's and she'd heard it.

I motioned for Bella to go back into the room and change while I dealt with my sister.

"Did you see the dress yet?" She screamed out before I even got the phone to my hears.

"Hello Alice. How are you?" I felt like postponing the moment I would have to break the news.

"Great, whatever, did you see the dress?" She replied still screaming.

"No, well, Bella's changing right now, but she's not wearing the dress you picked out." There was about 0,00001% chance that Alice would leave it at that.

"Why?" She asked, insulted. Damn probabilities.

"There's been an… incident." I took a serious tone, hoping she'd imagine the worst and that it wouldn't seem so bad after all.

"**What**?" It wasn't a "oh my god what happened" what it was more of a "if you really let something happened to this dress you're a dead man" kind of what.

"Calm down Alice it's no big deal. Bella tripped and spilled her strawberry milkshake all over it."

There was no sound on the other end. I thought for a moment she'd hung up on me.

"Alice?" I asked tentatively. I heard so indistinct noises.

"Hey Edward, Alice almost fainted, she needs a moment. How's our girl?" Rose asked.

"Better." *But I'm not.* I thought bitterly.

"So tell Alice we have to go." I hung up without realising it; I was too busy staring at Bella who was coming out of the room. She looked like an angel. There was no other word.

"So, what do you think?" She asked shyly. Bella never believed in her own beauty and in a way it made her even more beautiful.

"You're breathtaking." I let the words slip out and my voice was anything but casual. She grimaced.

"Don't make fun of me or you'll be without a date." I coughed, hiding my relief that she hadn't realised I was dead serious.

"I'll be an angel." I promised.

"Yeah right, with giant horns and a big tail maybe." She joked, walking past me and going to the front door. I caught myself staring at her again.

"Are you coming already?" She asked faking impatience. I followed her.

We entered the ballroom and I realised the reception must have started early because there were already people everywhere. I glanced around to see if I could spot the man I was here for. Instead I saw Tanya coming towards us.

"Edward darling I was looking everywhere for you."

"Hey." I didn't feel like putting on a façade tonight. I was already pretending a lot of things didn't happen.

"Come with me precious Chris is dying to meet you." She motioned for me to follow her.

This was it. Bella squeezed my hand in hers as we walked behind Tanya.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you Mr. Cullen. I was quite taken by your piece and Tanya only says wonderful things about you."

"Please call me Edward. I want to thank you for this opportunity…" I began and he suddenly turned over to Bella.

"Is this the young lady who inspired your fantastic piece?"

"I'm Bella, nice to meet you." She shook his hand with a smile. A woman then arrived by Thompson's side.

"This is my wife, Gabrielle." He lovingly said as he introduced her. My smile turned into a frown when I realised I'd met her before. It was the girl from the bar. Oh my god I had considered sleeping with Chris Thompson's wife.

"I'm delighted to meet you, Edward." I shook her hand half heartedly. She was here with my personal hero seizing Bella up and down during what was supposed to be one of the turning points of my career. I put a forced smile on my face and tried to make a good first impression. We chatted a little more and Bella excused herself when she recognized one of the violinists. It was a girl she'd met at a fashion show with Alice. I knew she couldn't last longer under the scrutinizing stare of the unsubtle woman.

"Now Edward I'll see you tomorrow for your recital." He said as he left, his beloved wife winking at me. I hid my face in my hands when I was sure they were out of sight. God could this night be more surreal? I was just catching my breath again when a guy about my age approached me.

"Hey I'm Eric; Kaitlin's fiancé." I vaguely remembered Bella telling me she was going to say hi to Kaitlin.

"I'm Edward." We shook hands briefly and I was relieved to meet someone who seemed normal.

"She was really relieved to see Bella was here, she was afraid she wouldn't know anybody."

"Are you also a musician?" I asked.

"No I can't even hold a guitar right. I'm an architect."

"That must be cool." I said truthfully.

"It's an easier field than music. I just hope Kaitlin will get the attention she deserves, she's really talented but her nerves are often in the way."

"Yeah it's a nerve-wracking week end for everyone."

"Bella seems nice."

"She's the best." I said, smiling.

"How long have you been together?" He asked innocently, not thinking in a million years we were just friends.

"Yeah no she's…" I looked over to Bella and she had her head thrown back, laughing. She was a lot of things. She was smart and funny. She was beautiful. She had the biggest heart out of everyone I knew. But she wasn't mine. Calling her a friend didn't seem like enough though. We were Bella and Edward. We were one and the same. I loved her more than anything. But lately, there had been this weird feeling in my heart. Something new; unfamiliar. Something I'd never felt before. The truth crashed down on me like a tidal wave; knocking me down. It was staring at me right in the face. That feeling was love. A new kind of love that weighted way more on my shoulders than the fraternal love we'd always shared. The wrong kind of love.

"She's my everything…" I didn't recognize my own voice as I rudely excused myself and rushed out of the ballroom.

The world shifted. All I'd ever imagine about my future was crumbling and I was left with a question mark for a plan and that love burning my soul. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. The floor didn't seem to support me the same way it always did and gravity itself was questionable. I found myself gasping for air in the nearest bathroom. The guy washing his hands took off in a hurry, giving me a worried glance. I guess I looked like a junkie missing his drug. Oh but I had my drug. In fact I'd just realised how much of it I needed. I looked at myself in the mirror and at that instant I didn't see me. I saw him, the freak who had to go and ruin everything by betraying the most sacred promise he'd ever made. I couldn't look at him. I hated him with all my heart. He longed for her, ached for her, commanding me to go back. I couldn't. She would know. She would see. I couldn't let her see him. *God I want to take it back.* I wondered if I even could. I knew he was me but I couldn't accept him and this tainted love. Our love had always been pure, now it was jealous and impatient, unworthy of her.

I couldn't stay hidden forever. No I'd have to go back to her. As I splashed water on my burning face I realized there was no going back from this. I loved her. Blinding, heart wrenching, life altering love. I just had to make sure no one would ever find out. How to kill it? How to hide it? How to act like everything was fine when it could never be again? I stared at him again, making him understand he would never win. He'd never break free. I wouldn't allow it. I felt him crumble. I was winning. I shrugged and dried my hands. My mind was processing everything, how I had to act, what I could do, what I had to be careful with. It seemed like a part of me had always known it would come to this, and was now taking over. I placed a grin on my lips as I rejoined the party. I saw her but refusing myself to ache about how beautiful she looked, I walked towards her and offered her my hand.

"A dance my lady?" I whispered playfully, looking directly in her rich brown eyes. That was it. This was the most significant test. Right here right now with that unwanted love coursing trough my veins, would she see right through me and realised I was scared to death.

"Gladly; my lord." She joked and I didn't know if I should rejoice or fear. Fear that one day I'd lose control over this and break her heart. Fear that she'd figure it out and break mine. Fear that I could lose this. As I put my arms around her and squeeze her perfect body, I realised this was the first of many lies to come. And worse I discovered I could lie to my Bella if it meant that I wouldn't lose her.

_What you don't know won't hurt you_

_Maybe the lies are true_

_Try to remember_

_Try to forget_

_But you'll never be the same_

_I'm already gone_

_There's a stranger in my place_

_You'll never find me _

_But I'll never run_

**Jonatha Brooke**

**Okay I hope you liked it because I gave it my very best. Really looking forward to your comments.**** Elmo13**


	39. The closet part 1 Edward

**Hey every****body. I spent useless hours trying to do an Alice POV and it just wasn't the right time I guess so here's Edward again. I hope you'll all enjoy it and don't forget to check for the teaser on my profile page.**

Edward

_**Le retour partie 1**_

I was floating. I didn't know where I was but it was absolutely perfect. I was in the middle of a dream and strangely conscious of it. I liked it there. It held peace. I was getting accustomed to the brightness of the place when I felt fire on my arm. I looked down and saw nothing. The fire ignited again in my cheek. I heard a noise behind me and turned around. I was suddenly in my bathroom at my house. The door leading to my bedroom was half opened and I could see someone was in my bed. Her soft curls looked like silk against my red sheets. Bella. I smiled. As I made my way towards my side of the bed I realised she was still awake. She shot me the most wonderful smile as I lay back beside her. I was about to talk when she came to sit on top of me.

"What took you so long in there?" She asked playfully as she bent down to kiss me. Her lips were perfect, caressing my own in the sweetest way as her tongue taunted me. I began stroking her back, feeling her pulse quickened under y touch. It felt so right, so natural. I let my hands wander on her body and let out a groan when she bit my earlobe. I wanted her so much. She gasped as I rolled her off of me and secured myself on top of her. Her eyes were begging me to continue and...

"..all passengers are invited to sit down and secure their seat belt…"

My entire body contracted as I regained consciousness. I let the gush of air pressing on my lungs get out and looked around. I was in the plane. I put my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment. Don't get me wrong I had had sex dreams before but this, this was new; and so wrong I couldn't even begin to cover it. I jumped when Bella put her hand in mine.

"Bad dream?" She teased me.

"Uh uh." What an understatement. This was a freaking nightmare. I'D spent all week end repressing all this shit and being pretty good at it. I'd hoped I could leave it Chicago. I'd even managed to sleep next to her for two entire nights. I admit I hadn't slept much but still. I played with her fingers nervously. I needed a distraction. Alice had insisted on celebrating tonight so that'd be a start.

My performance had gone incredibly well. I was now officially on my way to become a real composer. Thompson had recruited me for one of his project the next summer so things were looking pretty good. Except it wasn't. Nothing felt right anymore. I put on a casual smile on my lips as the plane landed. We gathered our things and soon I was greeted by an overexcited Alice and an impatient Rosalie holding a sign that read "Music superstar." I couldn't help but laugh. Alice's smile faltered as her gaze landed on Bella.

"Where is it?" She asked coldly. Bella handed her a bag sheepishly.

"I'm sorry Alice." I raised an eyebrow, not remembering the incident on Friday night.

"Edward, tell Bella I'm not speaking to her until the dry cleaner says it's going to come off." Alice stated in a stubborn tone.

"What if it doesn't?" I asked but quickly regretted my question when I caught the murderous glare she was giving me. Even for Alice, this reaction seemed exaggerate but I discarded the thought. I was knee-deep in shit myself; I didn't have time to examine my sister's neurosis and try to make sense of her actions. I made up an excuse to avoid going to the dry cleaned with the girls. I needed some time away from the power she had over me. They'd brought my Volvo anyway, stating they knew I wasn't up for the afternoon they'd planed. I tried to go to the apartment but everything there was so Bella I ended up at Jasper's door. Jazz wasn't one to ask questions about my mood swings but being around him was always calming somehow.

"Hey man. You want a beer?" He greeted me as he opened the door and invited me in.

"Always." I stepped inside and as I was discarding my shoes I heard him talking to someone in the kitchen. A woman entered my line of vision and I noticed the pink heels on the carpet.

"Well thanks Jasper, I hope I'll see you around soon." She was coming on to him so strongly I almost felt awkward standing there.

"No problem. Edward, do you want to watch the game?" Jasper simply said, ignoring her flirting completely and handing me my beer. The girl was hot; normal Jasper would have been kicking me out of his apartment head first. I turned my attention back to the girl. She seemed discouraged and just sighed as she left.

"What's the deal with her?" I asked.

"Who? Elena? She's a colleague. She needed help with her computer." He answered casually as we sat in the living room.

"Come on Jazz, I know you, you can't have a platonic relationship with any woman." I said, half joking, half serious.

"You're one to talk." He answered dryly.

"I have Bella." I defended myself, my inner self sneering at the hypocrisy of that statement.

"Well Bella's my friend too." He answered, clearly stating this conversation was over.

"Yeah but she's a lot younger than you. Doesn't count." I dismissed his attempt to defend himself but respected his desire not to explore the subject further. After all, I could understand why Jazz might not want to admit he had it bad for a girl.

The afternoon passed by quickly. Emmett joined us later with a pizza and after an action movie so violent it cleared my mind from any Bella thoughts it was soon time to meet the girls. I offered Emmett a ride but Jazz took his own car. He needed to get back early. I was feeling almost normal again when we entered the bar. Emmett went straight for the alcohol and I started looking around. I could feel my skin tingling from the excitement of seeing her. I swore under my breath. This force was stronger than I could even be.

I was screening the room for Bella when I saw _her_.

Tanya.

What she was wearing clearly stated she was done waiting. She wanted me to sleep with her tonight and it would have been an understatement to say I wasn't in the mood. She'd been a pain all week-end. She waved at me from the other side of the bar and started making her way towards me. I cringed. I really didn't want to deal with her again tonight. How could she have known I was coming here? I felt someone grabbing my hand forcefully and pulling me towards the hall leading to the bathrooms. I registered two things as the girl forced me into one of the closet that people used to make out privately. One, this woman was wearing the most sinful dress I'd ever seen. The black lace contrasted with her pale skin, almost making it glow. The fabric clung to her body in a scandalous way and it was so short her legs seemed to never end. Two, this woman was Bella. I thanked god I was able to see that before I jumped her. Bella caught me staring at her.

"Yeah I know Alice was mad thinking I could have worn that Friday." Her blush was exquisite. I was lost for words. The obscurity encircled us.

"I waited for you by the door since I saw she was here. She's such a pain I can't believe she overheard us talking about coming here." I didn't even remember we were here because of Tanya. She was so bewitching. All I could think about was to restrain myself from letting my hands reach under that dress and have my wicked way with her.

"How long do you think we should wait?" She asked and I was forced back into my rightful mind.

It was a big place. With a little luck she wouldn't find me again tonight. Or better she would stop looking. But I needed a moment to calm down. While I could hide my lust for here in the dark I knew my eyes were probably pitch black and another part of me too apparent.

"Couple of minutes." My voice was so low I covered it with a cough. I tried to think about anything that wasn't Bella but nothing seemed to work. Finally I tried Julian and magically all improper thoughts were gone from my brain.

"Ding dong the witch is dead, let's go out." I joked; quoting Bella's second favourite movie. She giggled as I opened the door, our fingers still entwined. I couldn't repress a smile from the hilarity of the situation. Hiding from Tanya in a closet. It was legendary. Bella's laugh died as quickly as it had started. I looked up to meet the angry stare of Julian. He looked at Bella's dress, our hands tightly linked and to the closet we'd just exited. No words can describe the fury in his eyes as he walked away from us. It was obvious what it'd looked like.

**TBC**

**I split this chapter in two because I wanted to post early in the week. I'll put the second part soon. **


	40. The closet part 2

**Part 2 !! Do you guys remember when I promised you a drunk Bella. Well here she is. Need reviews!!!**

Edward

_**Le retour partie 2**_

No words can describe the fury in his eyes as he walked away from us. It was obvious what it'd looked like. Bella let go of me and made her way outside. I followed her. I didn't know what to say. We sat outside on a bench. I left her make sense of her thoughts while I was trying to keep my own in check.

"Do you want to go home?" I offered but she shook her head.

"I won't let him ruin my evening. I'll learn not to care about what he thinks. He'll see one day that there could **never** be something between us." She said smiling tentatively at me and even though I knew she was right, it hurt like hell. It felt like someone had ripped out my heart and was happily dissecting it in front of me. She took my hand in hers and dragged me back inside, to our usual table. She tried to hide it but she was still upset. Her lips were quivering slightly. I put my arm around her shoulders and let her lean into me. Her skin felt like satin against mine, taunting me. I couldn't keep myself from touching it so I stoke her arm with my thumb. That could easily pass as a friendly act of reassurance.

Even if it felt like my life had stopped, the party went on. Rosalie was there soon with shots and I realised I could use a little something to dull the pain. Apparently, Bella was thinking the same thing. *There could **never** be something between us.* Her words echoed in my head; driving me crazy. Her head left my shoulder as her hands grabbed a glass. I followed her lead. She was so oblivious to what she was doing to me. After 4 tequila shots down her throat in less than ten minutes, Bella was taken from me by Rose who said they needed a "girl moment". I watched her walk away in her high heels accentuating her long, creamy legs, letting my mind wonder where it shouldn't have. I was soon distracted by Alice who started harassing me with questions. After being grilled about anything and everything concerning my meeting with Chris she decided to finally ask about what mattered the most.

"Do you like Bella's look? If she wasn't so clumsy I wouldn't have had to ruin myself in extra fast dry cleaning and you would have seen the dress sooner."

Did I like her look? She looked like the fucking forbidden fruit that was what she looked like.

"Come on Alice, you could never spend all of Mom's money even if you wanted to. What's the big deal with that dress anyway?" I was so annoyed that my sister felt the need to dress her like that it only made things that much harder for me. Literally. Alice suddenly looked almost… sad.

"You don't like it?" Oh I hated it. It was too damn perfect and really looked like it was made for her. All the guys in the place were staring at her. *Well they better stick to staring because if one of them tries to lay one hand on her I'll…*

"Edward?" Alice's voice brought me back to reality.

"I'm saying it's just a dress." Her disappointed look turned into a murderous glare.

"Just a dress. **Just a dress ?! **For your information I made that dress and it took me hell of a long time. And beyond that, I did it for you." She growled, her tiny fists dying to punch me. She was obviously waiting for an apology. I should have kept my mouth shut but I couldn't resist picking a fight. It would distract me from Bella.

"Jeez thanks Alice, I was hoping you'd make me a dress." I said sarcastically.

"Jerk." She said before turning around and disappearing into the crowd. I took a sip of my beer and before I knew it, my eyes had found their way back to Bella now dancing with Jasper.

Later that night, after countless hours of fantasizing about helping her out of her dress; Bella was still hunted by the stare Julian had given her. She'd definitely gone a little too far liquor wise. She was practically putting half her weight on me. She'd hate herself if he was to see her like this. As much as it pained me, his opinion mattered to her and she didn't want to give anyone the wrong idea so I gently grabbed her face in my hands to get her attention.

"Let's dance, okay?" I half ordered. She nodded. I was surprised to see she was still able to stand on her own. I brought her to the middle of the dance floor. It was the slow part of the night music wise so she let her head fall on my chest as we moved to the music.

Her dress was heaven under my fingers, I found myself stroking her back tenderly. I used to do that a lot so it wasn't dangerous. But the way it made me feel was. We stayed like this for a while and I could feel her relax into me. I was about to offer her to call it a night when her body tensed.

"Don't look but the witch is back." She suddenly whispered in my ear sending shivers down my body. I made her twirl and spotted Tania near the bar. *Great like I needed this to make this night more perfect.* I sarcastically thought.

"She's coming towards us." I groaned painfully.

"When is she going to get that you're not interested?" Her voice was annoyed but at the same time I could have sworn she was a little worried I might actually give in.

"It's hopeless." I sighed. It really was.

Bella's grimaced turned into an evil grin.

"Well let's make it even clearer." I gave her a questioning look. The mischievous glint in her eyes made me fear for my sanity. She grabbed my shirt and started pulling me in Tania's direction, her back to the bar. I knew what she wanted to do so I helped her positioned herself so she'd bump into my annoying teacher "accidentally".

"Oops, sorry Tania, we didn't see you there." Bella faked as she turned to face Tania and backed her body into mine. I encircled her waist. God it felt so good. Bella tilted her head slightly, giving me a perfect access to her neck. My heart started pounding. I knew what it meant but I didn't know if I'd be able to stop. *This is for Tania's sake only* I repeated over and over as the girls exchanged some words. Tania was watching me intently.

*Can't hurt to mislead her*. I thought. We'd done it before. No big deal. *But not like this.* I thought nervously. Obviously all the other more subtle things hadn't worked with Tania. I couldn't do this, Bella was giving the Edward she knew the opportunity to get rid of a bad situation. She didn't know he wasn't around. Plus she was drunk. Bella squeezed my hand to let me know she really didn't mind and something in me snapped.

I smirked and secured my hands on her hips as I kissed my way up her neck to her earlobe and back. She said something again about how we were calling it a night. I didn't care how she drove Tania away. It was probably the most bittersweet moment of my life and though it was wrong; I enjoyed it thoroughly.

"Did you see it, did you see her face?" Bella giggled as she tripped over the curb. I caught her just in time and steadied her. She'd stolen two other shots from Rosalie's hands before we were out the door so it was definitely time to call it a night. She was beyond drunk, probably the worst I'd seen her. Guess Julian really had messed with her mind. I got angry at myself for letting her drink so much and even angrier at Rose for providing the liquor. After the car ride drained all the balance left in her, I almost had to drag her to her room.

When she asked me to unzip her dress I thought I'd die; the worst part being how much I enjoyed it. *Thank god she is wearing a bra.*

"I'll give you some privacy." I said when she started changing. The truth was I was the one needing a minute but she blocked my escape.

"Privacy? Edward, you're my best friend." She stated matter-of-factly. If it hadn't been for the heartache I would have melt. She was so cute and so naïve when she was drunk. It was like she was twelve. Minus the hot body and the sexy pout, of course. So I surrendered and sat on the bed while she changed, trying very hard not to steal a glance. But gentleman or not, I couldn't help but notice she wasn't getting anywhere alone, trying to put clothes backwards so I got up and helped her. She giggled.

"I need to sleep." She ordered. I smiled and pushed her towards the bed.

"Let's." I agreed. *I need a cold shower.*

"You're not in your pyjamas." She stated looking at me up and down and finally grabbing my pants. When she started pulling on it I almost cracked but she was quickly distracted and I was able to put on my pyjamas without any help. I laid down and hoped she'd do the same but she almost crawled over me and hugged me tightly.

"You're the best Edwaaard." She chanted. My fists tightened at the contact of her body over mine and I just concentrated on not rolling her over and kiss her.

"You're pretty. You have sex hair all the timeeeee." She slurred as she took a handful of my hair in her tiny hand; putting her face so close to mine I could almost feel her lips on mine. I toyed with the idea that she wouldn't even remember if I did kiss her. I was so thankful in that instant that I hadn't drank too much. Lowered inhibitions wouldn't have done anything to help me in this situation.

"Best friends forever." The passion in her voice as her eyes bore into mine was more than I could handle. She was so convinced of this, I couldn't let her down. I'd put on a fake smile and be the Edward she needed any day of the week. But I couldn't deny it was harder. Harder than it used to be, harder than I'd ever thought it could get. I placed a lost curl back behind her ear, guiltily letting my finger feel her skin.

"Best friends forever Bells." I kissed her forehead and settled beneath the sheets with my one and only love. It didn't matter how hard it was. It would have to be enough.

It's my heart you're stealing

It's my heart you take

It's my heart you're dealing with

And it's my heart you'll break

It's my heart you're taking

It's breaking bit by bit

It's my heart you're dealing with

But you don't know about it

If you'd feel like I feel

And if you'd know what I know

I don't think you'd ever play me

I know you'd never play me

**The Perishers**


	41. Long stem red rose Alice

**I hope you guys like it. ****It's short but I'm working hard promise. **

**Alice**

_**La rose**_

I was refreshing my make up in the bathroom of a five star hotel with Rose beside me, a weird look on her face.

"So, it's been a while now you and Jazz…" Rose started. I sighed, I knew this was coming and honestly I knew I deserved that.

"I know; I should tell Bella." I whined. The guilt of not telling my best friend about this was eating me alive. Hell I had been angry at her for not telling me about Julian back when I was in Europe. Rose pulled me into a hug.

"I know it won't be easy, I'll be there for you. But you guys are so perfect for each other I doubt it could ever go wrong so you'll have to tell them eventually and the sooner the better."

Jasper and Rose had been invited to a very chic event and since Jasper wanted me there, he'd managed for Edward and Bella to come also so it wouldn't look as though I was his date. I was really getting tired of pretending I hadn't found the love of my life but Jasper seemed really anxious about Edward. He kept telling me he could sense Edward's mood wasn't at its best for such an announcement. Urgh, like my feminine intuition could be off concerning my dear brother. To me, Edward seemed happier than he'd been for a while. Anyway we were all at the after party of a big fashion show in Seattle. I'd been an "unstable ball of energy" all week looking forward to this; at least according to Jasper.

I was about to answer when Bella pushed the door open.

"Oh my god this photographer keeps hitting on me I swear I've been holding Edward's hand for the past half hour and it didn't even work." She sighed.

"He knows you guys aren't together. He asked me." Rosalie admitted with a wicked smile.

"Well now Rosalie Hale that's just mean." Bella grumbled.

"Hey he's cute, I know it's pretty soon but you should consider giving him your number." Bella's eyes widened and I frowned. Had Rose forgotten our plan about Edward?

"I don't understand why he's after me there's a ton of models out there."

"You look just like one sweetie." Rose said truthfully. Bella was almost more magnificent today then when we'd gone out to celebrate Edward's triumph last Sunday. I still hadn't told her all these dresses I made her wear were my own designs. After Edward's reaction I was a little scared. He still owed me one big apology for his total lack of support.

"Well I guess since any amount of promiscuous behaviour towards Edward won't fix this I'll just go out and let him down easy." Bella spoke slowly, begging Rose with her eyes to fix this.

"All right I'll deal with him." She eventually surrendered under Bella's pleas.

I didn't get a chance to catch Rose alone in the hour following our bathroom conversation so I finally cracked and whispered in her ear as we were sitting at our table.

"Why are you trying to fix Bella up?" I said smiling, trying not to ignite someone else's curiosity.

"I'm sorry Ali but Edward's back to his old self. No more awkward silences or longing glances. I even think I saw him flirt with a Victoria secret model. I just think we were wrong." I grimaced. As much as it annoyed me she was right. But something in me kept screaming that they were meant to be so I wasn't going to give up. I just had to come up with a more efficient plan.

Well I'd have to plan that plus the wedding which was getting so close I was losing weight just thinking about it. There was still so much to be done. Yet in less than 2 months my big brother would be married. Now if the other one could be as pleasant and open his heart already… I really needed to check with the florist, and the jeweller. Oh my god what if he'd forgot to engrave the rings…

"Why are you suddenly so silent?" Jasper asked, turning the attention to me.

"It's the wedding. I don't know how I'll get everything done." I said half panicking.

"Oh don't worry we'll help you out." Jasper reassured me. Emmett snickered. Rose shot him an angry glare.

"Even you McCarty." She growled. Edward cleared his throat.

"I have an idea, why don't we all clear our schedule for that entire week and go down there in advance. It'll give us time to arrange everything and it could be a great way to relax before going into the finals frenzy." Edward proposed. The weight on my shoulders lifted as he pitched this idea to the group and as he wicked at me I realised it was his way of apologizing for the whole dress ordeal.

"It'd be perfect." I burst and everyone smiled.

"Great idea." Rose agreed.

"It'll be like camp when we were young, us and the woods." Bella joked, walking over to Rose.

"I'll see with the manager if I can get us rooms." I said standing up, delighted. I opened my phone and went in my contacts to find the hotel manager. He and I had become too close for his comfort but he needed to understand how perfect everything needed to be. Anyway after he'd learned we were loaded he'd willingly given me every single one of his numbers. I dialled but it went straight to voicemail.

"I'll call him tomorrow. Anyway I need to know how many rooms…" I felt awkward talking about it in front of everyone but it needed to be said. Edward and Bella had both checked plus one back when I'd sent the invitations.

"Edward, are you really planning on bringing a date?" I began with him so everyone would see where I was heading.

"Yes, she's right here." He said his arms encircling Bella's waist. I smiled; he was so sweet with her. She scoffed playfully.

"Is that how you ask a girl to your brother's wedding?" She said pulling away from him and crossing her arms. Edward tried to hide his smile and disappeared. Bella gave us a puzzled look but in less than a minute Edward was back. He kneeled beside her and offered her a long stem red rose. Where the hell he'd gotten that in less than 60 seconds I didn't know.

"Bella, will you be my date." He asked in a fake dramatic voice and she giggled as she slapped him playfully and took the rose from his hand.

"Yeah okay." She accepted. Jasper had taken advantage of the distraction and was now stroking my hand with his thumb. I smiled at him.

"Is that how you agree to come with me to my brother's wedding? Yeah okay?" Edward insisted with a crooked grin.

"I'm sorry Edward; of course. I'd be honoured to accompany you." She answered in the same theatrical voice. I looked at them and my heart stirred. Why was I the only one to see it, why?

"Boys, the ladies need drinks, who's with me?" Emmett said moving towards the bar and the other two followed.

"Wow, my brother is in an excellent mood." I said smiling. I looked over at Rose and caught her meaningful glance. He'd been so weird before leaving for Chicago I thought he was realising his feelings for a certain brunette and yet now he seemed so… peaceful.

"Yes, it's nice." Rose concurred. We both turned to Bella who was playing absentmindedly with her rose.

Her smile slowly faltered, an insecure frown settling in its place.

"He's hiding something from me." She stated putting her rose aside; her voice full of worry.

**Ohhhhh interesting… Bella's knows something's up with Edward. (Yes she is oblivious to most things but it's her best friend.) She knows him the best. ****Please review, the last 2 chapters, the reviews went down BY HALF !!! To all my reviewers thank you, you really keep me going. **


	42. Distant Bella

**Than****k you so much for the support ! I just finished my midterm exams and back full force. This one is big in terms of where the story is going. For those who told me the pace isn't fast enough, well that's the exact point of this story. I warned that it would be a long journey and if it's not for you then fine but I won't change the way I envisioned it. For the amazing people who stuck with me, I'll say that the story will be done before Christmas. I'm working on more than one chapter at a time to create a really great ending and that is why I don't update a lot. But following a couple of amazing fics with less than an update a month myself, I know how hard it is and I really do my best.**

**Bella**

_**Différent**_

The last four weeks had been the weirdest and most disgruntling of my life. Between my break up, Chicago, the hangover, the fashion gala thing and Edward's bizarre attitude I couldn't catch my breath. I was lying in bed trying to make sense of everything that had happened in my life. Edward was out like he used to be these days. He hadn't spent more than 2 hours in a row home since we'd came back from Chicago. Well, except when he slept and even then... Every night was cut short by loud desperate moans and after that he'd disappear for the rest of the night; not even answering my questions and not looking me in the eyes. Edward's behaviour was like a puzzle that I had yet to solve, nagging me night and day with its difficulty. He was enormously trying to cover it up and that was truly the most curious detail. Edward was always dealing badly with his hot temper and certainly wasn't one to hide his feelings and avoid confrontation. So the fact that he hadn't said anything was worrying me.

People may tell me that I'm oblivious to most things but I know Edward inside and out and he was... different. His voice was off just a bit and his smile didn't reach his eyes. No one beside me saw it. I'd talked about it to Alice and Rose two weeks ago but their best effort to see through his façade had been vain. I'd stopped trying to subtly asking about his day to get a piece of information that would enlighten me. He would get suspicious and I was sensing he didn't want me to know what this was all about. I couldn't figure out why; I'd always been the one he confided in to. What could it be that was so secret he couldn't even tell **me**? My mind was going crazy trying to think of something but the more I thought about it, the less it made sense and the more I wanted to know. Well I'd be going to hell for it but I had even gone through his backpack for a clue. My phone rang distracting me for my guilt. Alice's name appeared on the screen and a let a half smile reach my lips.

"Hey." I whisperer weakly.

"No Bella, not again! Please tell me you're not in bed over thinking Edward's behaviour." I sighed, that girl knew me too well.

"I'm not in bed thinking about Edward's behaviour." I repeated after her.

"Now you're lying to me? Great." She said, pissed. I let out a giggle.

"Bella this is serious, I think you're right about him. I'm home with Esme and Edward's been swimming for the last two hours. God knows he only does that when he's super upset. I think you should come." I didn't think about it twice. I hung up and changed quickly into my bikini, grabbing a few things during the process. I skipped the polite talk in the kitchen and went directly upstairs.

I stripped down to my bathing suit in his bedroom, summoning the courage to compose my face and not harass him with questions. I'd try to just be with him hoping he would open up. When I entered through the glass doors he was sprawled out on the wet floor, eyes closed. His wet body was glistening under the moon light and he looked so beautiful and serene I almost turned around. But I needed to do this. If he heard me he showed no recognition of my presence. I lay beside him so that our head were next to one another but our bodies were spread in different directions. I stared up at the stars beyond the glass roof over the pool, knowing he was doing the same. We used to do that all the time when we were young teens.

"Did everything changed since those nights spent staring at the sky Bella?" I held my breath. He was back. His voice was sad but its velvet richness was telling me this was my real Edward. His distress was tangible.

"We didn't." I answered with confidence. We were still going strong, hard as a rock.

"What if we do someday?" I took a deep breath. To speak such words he must really be troubled. I wanted to ask why he spoke like that, I wanted to shake the truth out of him and know at last the reason of all this. But it mattered more to heal his heart than to know why it was broken. I thought about my answer carefully but there was only one thing to say.

"It doesn't matter." I could almost feel his eyes open in surprise. He'd been expecting me to say we'd never change. God forbid it happened but that still wasn't honest enough.

"How so?" He rolled over on his stomach and pulled himself up just enough so I could see him.

"No matter how much we change; we'll always belong to each other."

"No matter how much..." He repeated so low I almost didn't hear him.

"You are stuck with me in your life Edward Cullen." I joked, ruffling his copper hair. He stood up and offered me his hand.

"You are my life Bells." He said pulling me hard into his arms. . The few drops of water left on his skin were ice cold and I shivered. His back facing the water, he grabbed a strong hold of my hips and with a grin pulled me into the pool with him. The water was warmer than I'd anticipated. My feet could barely touch the bottom so I held onto him. I let myself relax into his hold, letting the warm water envelop us. He was my life too. We didn't talk for the longest time. I was reluctant to break the silence. I felt so attuned to him; I didn't want it to end. It was eventually Alice's voice walking down the hall talking about appetizers that broke the moment.

"Let's get you dry." He said with a crooked grin and I followed his lead. We slept at the house that night and he didn't leave in the middle of it.

The next morning everything was normal. Edward drove us to school in the Volvo, chatting about his new composition. I couldn't stop smiling. I teased him when he opened the car door for me.

"Always the gentleman." He smiled.

"What can I say, it gets me girls." I hit him playfully and we started walking towards class. He kept his hand on the small of my back all the way there. He was so fidgety and excitable he stole my pen about ten times during the lecture.

"Edward enough this class is going into my curriculum." I said trying to sound critical but I just ended up grabbing it from his messy hair with a big grin plastered on my face.

The rest of the day was boring because I had classes alone and the last one was in the furthest building on campus. When it was over it was almost dark out and I walked the narrow cement path regretting my coat. It wasn't raining anymore but the last few days had soaked the earth and mud was replacing the usually green grass. I was almost back to the main building when I spotted Julian was walking the path, heading towards me.

I hadn't seen him since that night at the club and had no wish to relive that awful moment. God what a horrible night; I'd gone completely crazy with the alcohol present. I shivered at the thought. If it hadn't been for Edward, I probably would have woken up in an alley somewhere. Or worse. We would cross ways inevitably there was no other path. I didn't look down though; I didn't need to feel ashamed. What happened next flabbergasted me completely. He stopped dead in his tracks and hid his face in his hands. Unsettled, I stopped too. I was expecting him to walk past me with a judgmental look on his face. When his face emerged from his hands there was an unspoken resolve in his eyes. I was glued to my spot. My heart stated to beat uncontrollably as I realized he was going to talk to me.

"Bella." He said tentatively. The sound of my name on his lips brought me back to reality. It was like he'd been stung by a bee. Of its own will my body swiftly turned on its heels and started walking back towards the main building. I was thankful for that but I was soon stopped again.

"Please Bella you've got to hear me out." He pleaded and just like that I heard myself spitting words towards him.

"Why? So that you can accuse me of every sin possible until you feel better. I don't think so." The anger ran deep within.

"No, so I can apologize for my inexcusable behaviour." I was about to thrown another one at him but I fell flat. That was more than unexpected. I frowned at him. If he thought he could crawl back into my life by grovelling he was dead wrong. He seemed to read my expression because he soon continued.

"Don't worry, I don't want to win you back or anything. I just want to say that I've been an ass and I'm sorry." I let myself take a breath. He seemed sincere enough but the last time I'd seen him his eyes were throwing daggers at me. What had changed?

"Why?" I just asked, really curious of the answer.

"I realised that this jerk wasn't me. I wasn't used to be that kind of guy. The kind who would go crazy jealous and yell at his girlfriend. It's just that everything here felt so foreign and yet you didn't and you became the only home I knew here. When **he**... when Edward came back from his trip I felt like I was losing you and it went downhill from there. I shouldn't have listened to the gossip I heard but I was so scared that you'd realised you didn't need me anymore I decided I wasn't going to give you the chance to get rid of me. In a weird way you brought out the best and the worst in me. Does that even makes sense?" He'd spoke quickly but I hadn't missed a word. It was almost too good to be true and I couldn't thrust him with my feelings so I just nodded.

"I hope I could make it up to you and if you ever want to give me the chance to create a better memory of me in your mind... as a friend... you know where to find me." He smiled sadly and walked away after gently squeezing my hand in his for a brief moment. I stayed still for a minute, letting my mind catch up with the meaning of all of this. Julian had apologized. He didn't believe the horrid lies about me and Edward anymore. I felt an ache on my heart disappear and smiled. It was like a ton of bricks had been removed from my shoulders. When someone was horrible to me I always envisioned the most extravagant apology to make me feel better knowing it'd never actually happen and yet this time, my imagination had been outdone. I wasn't one for grudges and even if I could never fully trust Julian again, I knew I could forgive him completely with a little more time. I took out my phone and hesitated. I needed to tell someone but strangely I found myself dialling Alice's number instead of Edward's. *I can tell him when I get home.*

"Alice, it's me, you won't believe what just happened..."

When I arrived at the apartment I was almost giggling. Everything was starting to feel right again. Edward wouldn't be thrilled to hear about Julian but even he had to admit it was the best thing that could happen given the situation.

"I'm home." I chanted while I removed my sneakers. I looked around to see him glued to his computer screen at the kitchen counter. His shoulders were tensed, his face stoic.

"Are you okay?" I said softly, putting my hand on his. I swear he cringed at the touch.

"Of course." He shrugged. I removed my hand, confused. He was back to his distant self. *Damn it*. I waited a couple of agonizing seconds to see if he would magically change back. No such luck. He continued to stare stubbornly at his screen, refusing to look at me in the eyes. I sighed in annoyance. He glanced my way a second and my heart skipped a beat at the raw emotions in them.

"Anything new?" He asked, his casual voice contrasting with the fury in his eyes. I could feel a lump forming in my throat. My eyes narrowed. If he wasn't going to tell me anything about his life anymore then neither would I.

"Typical day." I grabbed my backpack and went into my room, shutting the door, making it clear I was pissed at him. He didn't come after me.

**Reviews are like chocolate...**


	43. Thirteen times Edward

**I don't do it a lot but this chapter contains scenes from last chapter in EPOV. **

Edward

_**Perdu**_

Suppose I said

I am on my best behaviour

There are times

I lose my worried mind

Would you want me when I'm not myself?

Wait it out while I am someone else?

And I, in time, will come around, come around

I always do for you

Suppose I said

You're my saving grace?

The last few nights had been embarrassing to say the least. Every time my imagination found a new way to torture me. I woke up every time more mortified than the last. These insidious fantasies were all I could think about. Some were romantic, others were heated and passionate, a lot were vivid but they were all impossible. And every single one of them ripped out a part of my soul. I'd seek solace in the rhythmic movements of my arms and legs gliding through the water and the numbing feeling of the chlorine. Still, it wasn't enough. I found myself lying down on the cold cement, waiting for the ache to disappear. Afflicted by the need of her constant presence and attention; craving her in every steps of the day and heavy sighs of the night. It had become a constant struggle.

I heard her quiet steps coming towards me before I saw her. No one walked like her. So clumsy and yet so graceful. I stole a glance at her half naked form. She was so beautiful. She lay down in a familiar way. We used to watch the sky like this. I could feel her beside me body and mind in synch with one another. I could taste her worry in the air surrounding us. On some level she knew I wasn't really there anymore.

"Did everything changed since those nights spent staring at the sky Bella?" I let the wall down. It was taking everything in me to hold it anyway.

"We didn't." *Oh but I did Bells. Can't you see that?*

"What if we do someday?" I knew we would when I'd let my secret slip. And it would crush her.

"It doesn't matter." I opened my eyes in surprise. I wasn't expecting that. I expected her to dismiss the idea of ever changing.

"How so?" I was curious now so I allowed myself to look at her.

"No matter how much we change; we'll always belong to each other." Her words filled my heart with something foreign and exciting. Hope. The same hope I'd crushed so many times before these past weeks.

"No matter how much..." I repeated, it sounded right. Maybe this love didn't need to be a curse after all. Maybe I just needed a different plan. I couldn't tell her know now, but maybe I didn't need to hide it. And maybe... someday...

"You are stuck with me in your life Edward Cullen." I helped her get up and trapped her into my arms. She belonged there. There was no question about it anymore.

"You are my life Bells." I poured my heart out to her, knowing she wouldn't understand the depth of my confession. It took everything in me not to take her face into my hands and kiss her. I shivered from the longing while she shivered from the cold. It was intoxicating. Her hair smelled like raspberries. Her soft and warm skin was caressing my cold body. The tempting nape of her neck was inviting me in for a kiss. Her brown curls framed her head perfectly. I felt my control slip and grabbed a hold of her hips as I pulled her with me into the pool. The initial shock of being back into the water helped me regain some semblance of control. She was too short to stand so she held onto me and I melted. How could I not tell her about everything she was awaking in me? But the fear of rejection was still greater. What if I told her right this moment? She'd said herself that nothing would ever come between us. We'd find a way. Maybe she could help me deal with all that turmoil, that need, that suffocating fear that I would destroy everything.

When I heard my sister's voice I remembered it wasn't so simple. Bella was trying to soothe my pain she had no clue she was responsible for it. Being so selfless, she'd probably think it was her fault, she'd be sad, she'd be ruined. I just couldn't take the chance.

"Let's get you dry." I dragged her out of the pool and put a towel around her.

I woke up in the middle of the night like I had grown accustomed to. But this time there was no unwelcomed vivid image filling my mind. There was just this uncontrollable love and I let it rise to the surface. I the intimacy of the dark, I let myself love her. My beautiful Bella. I realised now that every steps had I taken were leading to this moment. Holding hands on our first day of school, eating every uncooked brownies she'd made with her easy bake oven, trick or tricking with her when I was twelve even if I thought I was too old, letting her cut my hair when she'd had her weird hairdresser phase, seducing the secretary in high school so she'd changed my schedule to match Bella's, taking her to prom, even the long string of one night stands were saying the same thing. There was nothing and would never be someone else for me. I wanted to be good, patient and forgiving to make her happy. She'd always made me a better person. Now I wanted to be a better man.

I traced her perfect features with a shaky hand. Her slow and steady breathing was unknowingly calming me. If she was to wake up now I would just tell her everything. With her white two piece boyish pyjama contrasting with the blood red sheets and her river of brown curls she just couldn't look more like an angel. I was sitting outside heaven's door and I badly wanted to knock. I imagined what it'd be like if I could find a different future for us. A future she'd be comfortable with. Maybe we'd be lying like this for many years to come. Maybe we could find a better end to this. That thought allowed me to fall back to sleep but not before she breathed my name in her sleep for the thirteenth time.

The next day was perfect or so it began that way. I had a class with Bella in the morning and hung out with Emmett playing pool during lunch.

"Man you're on fire today." He said when I beat him for the second time.

"It's a pretty good day." I answered with a grin.

"A good day, or a good lay?" He roared, laughing. I shook my head.

"You're obsessed man, really." I joked.

"Seriously Rose would kill me if she knew I was saying this but that new exchange student is freaking hot. You could do it for me bro." He smiled suggestively.

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen." I replied with a little remorse for crushing my big friend's expectations.

"Why? Seeing anyone special?" He asked a little too quickly. I met his eyes and realised it wasn't something he'd normally ask. I shook my head, smirking.

"Emmett McCarty, I never knew you were the kind of guy to sweep around gathering information on account of your girlfriend..." If possible for his size, he shrunk up and became tomato red.

"Sorry, I tried to refuse but she started talking about all these things she'd wear for me if I did it and...No offence bro."

"None taken." I said honestly. I wasn't mad at Emmett but this was clearly a sign I'd have to be careful. The evil blonde was onto me and if she woke the pixie beast I'd have no rest or refuge. The rest of my afternoon was uneventful and I was soon done with my day.

I decided to wait for Bella to come back from her last class of the day. I'd started working on a paper when I saw her through the windows of the cafeteria. It was almost dark out so I rose to my feet when I saw her stop dead in her tracks. I spotted Julian was talking to her. *That son of a bitch.* I grabbed my computer in a hurry and started walking towards the door to kick his ass once and for all. I cursed against the architect for not building a door right there beside the windows and half ran through the corridors. Only when I stepped outside, she wasn't frowning anymore. She was smiling. One of those bright and warming smiles she only wore when she was immensely happy. The green-eyed monster stirred inside of me. Along came the hurt, the fear, the revolt. It wasn't fair. This was wrong. He couldn't just walk back into her life. How could she smile at him like nothing had happened? The jerk then waved goodbye like he was his best friend or something and I watched her as she got out her cell and dialled.

I disappeared into the shadow of the building, my fists silently meeting the brick wall. This just couldn't be. It was impossible. *She can't do that to me.* I only thought. *You idiot she doesn't know she's doing anything to you.* Said my rational side. But I didn't want to listen. It was wrong and bad and all the synonyms possible for catastrophe available in English and beyond. I made my way around the block so I wouldn't cross her path. I had trouble catching my breath as I hurried to be the first one home so she could tell me how great her afternoon had been since she'd reconciled with him. I felt nauseous. I won the race to our apartment door and then our kitchen counter. I should have took the time to compose myself for the possible meaning of what I'd witnessed but a sick part of me just wanted her to know I was disgusted with it. I set up a believable studying scene with my computer and notes just seconds before I heard the sound of her keys in the lock. I even practiced the most judgemental look I was capable of doing. But all intentions to keep my cool were out the window the second I saw her.

"I'm home." She chanted, seeming so genuinely happy. Because of him. Jealousy took over every fibbers of my being. I was enduring this malediction, this pain, and she was just going to end up broken anyway at the hand of this treacherous jerk. How could I sit though this mess again? I'd kill him this time around. I stared blankly ahead to hold down the anger threatening to break free.

"Are you okay?" Her touch sent a jolt of electricity right through me. This was it, she'd tell me about her encounter. I only had a couple of seconds before my life was ruined.

"Of course." I swallowed back everything. I would wait for her explanation. I'd give her the opportunity to explain. I risked a glance over my computer to look at her.

"Anything new?" I made it easy for her to spill. She hesitated. I waited agonizing seconds for her to explain, to make my world right again. She didn't.

"Typical day." I was in a half trance when she closed her door. I couldn't bear it. Not this. Not now. It was worst than sitting though her joy. This silence was the cruellest treatment. What had she said to him? Had she given him a second chance? If I was to see them kiss again I'd kill myself on the spot. If she wasn't talking about it did it mean she knew I'd disapprove but didn't care? I snickered. The monster in me was stronger than ever. He wanted to kick that door open and claim what was rightfully his. I trembled as I made my way to my bedroom and through my things, quickly gathering enough clothes to last me a few days. I couldn't stay tonight. Tonight I'd just be a creep pining for someone else's girl, taking advantage of her trust to sleep next to her. Tonight I'd just be a freak fantasizing about a girl he couldn't have. Tonight I'd lose Edward in all that envy.

So instead I flew. I went to Jasper's. He was out of town for a few days and I had the keys to his place. He wouldn't mind. I hesitated to go out. I needed to drink but I was afraid of myself. Afraid to do something reckless and end up in a strange bed. I was surely capable of it. Could I live with myself after that? I didn't think so. I was all hers even if she didn't want me. I decided to drown myself into Jasper's impressive stash of alcohol instead. God bless him. I was already pretty intoxicated when her picture appeared on my phone. I stared at her carefree smile. She was always self conscious in photographs but this one had been taken too quickly for her to notice the camera. I was wasted, it was all a waste of time, all this love wasted... This was the first time I avoided one of Bella's calls. It happened thirteen times that night.

**I recommend the song "Breathing" by Lifehouse for the scene when he watches her sleep. It's just so damn perfect. **

**Reviews are like getting to sleep in late... **

I'm finding my way back to sanity, again

Though I don't really know what

I am gonna do when I get there

Take a breath and hold on tight

Spin around one more time

And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace

I am hanging on every word you say

And even if you don't want to speak tonight

That's alright, alright with me

'Cause I want nothing more than to sit

Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing

Is where I want to be


	44. The Alice way to reconciliation Bella

**Thank you so much for the support ! I apologize for the long wait and the short chapter. But trust me there wasn't anything else to be said. And I need someone to help me with next chapter I'm so insecure with it and it's done already so the faster I get help the faster I'll post. Please pretty please : )**

**Bella**

_**Jusqu'au fond des choses**_

More days passed and it got worse. He stopped sleeping at the apartment altogether. He hadn't looked directly at me for at least three days. He started missing classes. Every night I hoped he'd be back, ready to talk but he wasn't. It was so foreign for me. To be banned from his mind. I kept thinking I'd show up to class and he'd be saving me a seat... It had gone too far. I was stubborn but he was worse, just waving back every question and every attempt to make it right. It was like talking to a very stubborn, infuriating human shaped wall.

Two weeks before the wedding we were all getting ready to go and spend the following week at the hotel and I just knew we needed to resolve the issue before being with one another 24/7 for eight days. Think of the massacre.

By Sunday I was running out of ideas. Desperate times calling for desperate measures, I'd decided to ask Alice for help. Unleashing the pixie could have grave repercussions but I was willing to try anything. When I admitted the extent of the feud she slapped me on the wrist and made me swear never to hide something like that again. Her entire being transformed into an army general on a mission.

"Oh Bella you'll have your answer tomorrow." She said with a grin, dismissing my worry by waving her hand. I widened my eyes in surprise.

"Alice I've been trying for weeks to make him talk no offense but I really don't think you're that good."

"Oh, poor Bella." She patted me on the head.

"Am I missing something here?" I asked dumbfounded.

"It'll be an easy going three step plan. Step one, he realises he's lost control of the fight when you don't show up for the night." She explained and I took a moment to think about it. How great would it feel not to be the one waiting up for a change? I eyes Alice suspiciously.

"An I'll sleep where?" I asked and the excited glint in her eyes had her busted.

"Here of course. Sleepover!" She squealed. Her serious demeanour returned.

"Step two, I say you're not here so he freaks out a little." Her devilish smirk almost discouraged me to do anything; something wicked was coming.

"And what will he deduce from that besides that I may be dead?" I couldn't think of anywhere else I could sleepover.

"That's for him to decide where he thinks you are, but it'll give us a good idea of what's bothering him." Her voice was casual but I knew she was keeping something from me.

"And why is that?" She cleared her throat loudly.

"Because angry people tend to be paranoiac and my brother is just the perfect example of that. I think I'll know what he'll think but let just drop it for the moment." All this secrecy was making me nervous. She got up and went to the refrigerator.

"Step three, and brace yourself because you're not going to like it, we make him mad, really mad. We shake him enough; he's going to pop open like a bottle of champagne." She said opening one in a quick motion.

"How are we suppose to make him really mad **tonight**." I asked as she served our drinks.

"Bella, my young padawan, we just tell him the truth." I raised my eyebrow in a quizzical manner.

"And the truth is?"

"That you're having dinner with Julian." No, no way. That evil pixie was not going to influence me there. This was not negociable.

"I'm not having dinner with Julian." I gave her a meaningful glare so she'd know there was no wiggle room.

"You are now." The evil grin reappeared on her face.

"What? Alice I told you I refused his invitation. It's too soon. I can't switch to being friends just like that after what happened." My voice got all high and desperate. I admit I added a little to manipulate her but it's not like she wasn't used to do the exact same thing to drag me to the mall. She sighed deeply and for the first –and maybe only- time, I knew I'd won against Alice Cullen.

"Suit yourself, I don't care. I'm still saying that's what you're doing." I considered it. He would be furious.

"Alice, I really don't think making Edward mad at me more than he already is is going to help. Just forget it." There was a meaningful silence and I realised she wasn't waiting for my permission to act.

"Alice what did you do?" She made her puppy dog eyes.

"He called while you were in the bathroom; I already told him you were gone with Julian."

"Alice!"

"You're welcome." She winked and sat back down next to me, giving me a glass.

"Relax, it's going to work. Let's toast to the success of my unflawed plan." The evil smirk Alice was wearing on her face was soon contagious. The glasses made a clear clunk as we bumped them together and we took a big sip of the champagne. I was going to hell for sure.

**Reviews are like a long awaited update... **

Because I'll never let this go

But I can't find the words to tell you

I don't want to be alone

But now I feel like I don't know you

One day you'll get sick of

saying that everything's alright

And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending

Just like I am tonight


	45. Forgive me Edward

**Love you guys. Thanks a lot to everyone who offered help and a special thanks to ellejaycullen who reassured me that I was on the right track. **

Edward

_**Un baiser volé**_

Fall was coming to end with an early snow covering the ground but as close as I was to losing every bit of sanity left in me, I didn't really care. Nothing means anything when you're in love with the girl you live with.

*Not that I resist seeing her everyday in a pervert attempt to spill all the pieces of my heart on the floor. Or that I resist saying goodnight to be sure I'm not whole again. Falling in love with your best friend is a bad idea, it gets even more horrible when that best friend starts hanging out with her ex that hates you and it really, really sucks when, out of nowhere, she starts spending less time with the stupid, stupid moron who let himself fall for her in the first place.* I thought bitterly.

I wasn't even pretending that talking to myself was an eerie thing to do anymore. Six weeks, six freaking weeks into this nightmare and I was already this close to calling it quits.

Last night when Alice had told me she was having diner with him I'd almost went to hunt him down. He didn't deserve a single look from her. He deserved to have his ass kicked for all the horrible things he'd said. I didn't deserve her either. I swore to always take care of her and yet I wanted to throw all the years of friendship out the window for a chance to taste her lips. I wanted her so bad it hurt. I had barely been able to sleep 4 hours in a row since Chicago with the exception of that night. That night I'd let myself hope. That hope that'd been crushed in the worst way possible when I'd realised she still felt something for the jerk. I hadn't resisted the urge to sleep at the apartment to know when she'd be back from her date but I'd fell asleep around midnight. Of course my body would want to sleep in that moment.

.

*God I've got to calm down.* I thought to myself. I decided to get up and make coffee before I went totally crazy and started talking out loud. 6 am. *Damn Bells will think I'm sick for sure.* Sleep depravation was clearly in the cards for me as a punishment for letting this plague getting out of control. I threw a shirt on and put on my comfortable jeans. I just wasn't at ease enough around Bella to be half naked in front of her anymore. Man it used to piss Julian off. She had been oblivious to how I used to go out of my way to freak him out and I used to think he should be the one dealing with his own jealousy. Now that I was choking on my own, it wasn't as much fun. I went down the stairs really slowly, praying she wouldn't hear me. I froze when I got to the coffee machine. Something was off. I started looking around and noticed it. Bella's door, it was open. I could see her bed, her very well made bed. Obviously I also noticed she wasn't in it.

I cursed out loud, not able to keep it in. Before I knew it my whole body was shaking in anger and jealousy. She had had diner with him and Alice had assured me she wasn't spending the night at her place so where was she? *Not with him no she can't be.* But the insidious doubt remained.

I took a very long cold shower trying not to break things. I heard keys in the lock while I was drying myself up. If the jerk was with her I swear I'd kill myself on the spot. Or him. I put on only my jeans and peeked at the kitchen. Relief washed through me as I took in the sight of Bella fully clothed and alone. I noticed she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. She smiled when she saw me and my heart stirred painfully. How couldn't she see that I was slipping; slowly losing myself and her at the same time.

"Wow you're up early maybe your teenage days are officially over." She mocked me with the cutest smirk. So she was pretending everything was fine. I could play that game too. I went over and helped her out of her coat. I was a masochistic freak. Touching her and wanting her in ways I shouldn't.

"Well you're finally wearing off on me." I answered in a perfectly casual tone. But I couldn't resist torturing myself further.

"So why are you so bright and early?" My voice broke a little at the end but I covered it off with a cough.

"Are you okay?" Her hand landed on my forehead and she frowned. *No I'm not okay I want to rip my heart out.* I wanted to scream.

"I'm fine, don't worry." I smiled and served myself a coffee. I'd noticed she'd avoided my question on purpose. My hands turned into fist against my will.

"Are you hungry?" She asked from the bathroom while she put her hair up into a ponytail. I wasn't hungry; I wasn't anything anymore but the old Edward would've been so I nodded.

"Perfect let's make something good." She started to move around gathering things from the cabinets. She was so beautiful. *Edward dangerous territory; remember what you promised yourself no touching; no staring; no temptation.* The monster in me snickered. He reminded me I was failing miserably with falling out of love with her.

"Alice reminded me to be sure you'd cancelled your classes from Saturday night for the wedding and even next Sunday since we probably won't make it back here until Monday morning." She stated. Right, in less than two weeks was the wedding and we'd decided to go early and help Alice with the last minute details. Could I even go given the fact that I'd have to sleep in the same bed as Bella for a week and not explode? No way I would handle this without losing my mind. It was my idea in the first place, why had I come up with it?

"Sorry Bells I meant to tell you and Alice before but I forgot. I won't be able to make it until Friday night." I said trying to sound as casual as I possibly could. I heard myself and I have to say I was doing a pretty good job. I had always been a good liar; I just wasn't getting used to lie to my best friend. I saw her eyes widened, of course she was going to freak out on me.

"What?" She blinked a few times, waiting for me to clarify that I didn't mean it the way it came out. I started fumbling through the fridge, thinking it would be easier to go through with it if she wasn't staring directly into my eyes.

"I'm not going to be there. I have classes I couldn't cancel." I repeated calmly giving an excuse. I heard a loud whimper escaping her mouth and turned to face her again. I could see her eyes well up with tears already. She looked so hurt my heart broke a little. *I'm sorry love I just can take it anymore.* I thought sadly.

"But… Edward it was **your** idea. I really thought... never mind." She stated emphasizing on the word your, her voice trembling. I took a breath and buried my face in the fridge again.

"Well I'm sorry but don't worry. You'll have all the others to keep you company." I should've stopped there but something in me snapped.

"Maybe Julian should take my place since you two are friends again." As I said his name my voice went bitter. She stayed dead silent for the longest time and I thought I was going to be sick. What if they were really back together?

"Where is this coming from? What are you talking about?" The anger in her voice liberated me a little but all the built up frustration in me wouldn't go away.

"So your reunion didn't go as planned? Well I wouldn't know since you didn't even tell me you two were speaking again." I said in a sarcastic tone. I was actually beginning to lose my temper. Her eyes narrowed.

"Not like you aren't keeping anything from me Edward Cullen, but right now you are the one acting like a 5 year old not me." I leaned against the counter looking bored.

"I don't **have** to tell you anything." She froze. Sure we'd had a sort a cold war going on these past few days but it was becoming the most heated fight I'd had with her ever. *She's so sexy when she's angry." It was hard to stay there being a jerk when all I wanted to do was grab her and kiss her senseless.

"What the hell is wrong with you I tried to be patient to let you figure it out yourself but I swear I'll beat it out of you if I have to." She screamed at me, moving towards me. My eyes flew to her bare stomach but I quickly forced them back to her face, my stare lingering on her perfect lips. *How sick am I.* I ran my hand through my hair, trying to regain my self control. *Before this goes really wrong.* I thought watching my now shaking hands. I was messed up big time.

"Nothing's wrong with me, don't bother." I tried to retreat to my room but she went after me and grabbed my arm as strongly as she could; forcing me to face her again. Her touch sent a jolt of electricity through my body and I jerked my arm away. She looked so hurt that I acted like her touch was poisonous. But it was. She grabbed my other hand and hold on to it really tightly watching my reaction. Her features hardened.

"I won't let you go before you tell me why you're being such a jerk. I've tried the easy way but I'm sick of walking on eggshells around you. Edward this is useless. I know that you are hiding something from me. Just tell me and we'll work it out together." Her voice was imperative but I couldn't comply. I tried to free myself but I didn't want to hurt her and she wasn't letting me go.

"Leave me **alone** Bella." I croaked; my voice so low it was barely audible. I was staring at our hands, trying to forget how good it felt to hold her into my arms.

"Look at me Edward. Why won't you look at me?" She insisted her voice desperate and angry. I cracked.

"It kills me to look at you." I roared, locking my eyes with hers.

Damn I had let it slip, I was furious at myself but more angry at her for forcing it out of me. She looked taken aback and let go of my hand. *She still doesn't understand, she's so blind.* "Do you want to know why I can't stand to look at you anymore Bells?" I asked harshly. She looked proud of herself. She thought that I was going to spit my secret and that she would make it better.

"I want to know." She said lifting her chin up, a smug smile appearing on her tempting lips.

Damn I just wanted to erase that smile of victory. I let the bad side of me take over completely. I wanted her to know too; to fell my pain; to share my distress. So what if she wouldn't return my love. I would show her. My hands roughly grabbed her hips and I pushed her against the wall as I crushed my lips to hers. To feel her silky lips under mine was irreplaceable. I let my anger melt into her. She tasted so good; even better that I what I had imagined. She didn't move an inch as I forced her lips open and taunted her tongue with my own. She was my air, my earth and my fire rolled into one. The aching in my heart was erased by the peace of my soul. For mere blissful seconds she was mine. It wasn't a proper "I love you" kiss; it was a desperate, rough, urging kiss. It was the kiss of a lost man. It was a first and a last kiss. Even though she kissed me back a little, I knew she was just too shocked to actually think about what she was doing. I felt all the tension, all the hurt, all the lies weakening my defences and before I knew it I was falling apart. I broke the kiss and placed my hand over her mouth. She couldn't talk it would kill me.

"God Bells I'm so sorry. I tried I really tried but it's too much. Way too much." She was listening intently, her eyes tearing up. At least she wasn't pushing me away.

"I know you're not where I am, I'd never ask you to be… god I hate myself." My voice broke.

"I love you." I said staring into my favourite brown eyes. I know she wouldn't believe it. Hell I could barely believe it but she had to know.

"I love you so much I can't trust myself around you." I continued, letting my hand caress her cheek one last time.

"Please forgive me." I kissed her forehead and in a swift move I freed her and turned away.

I walked toward the door and grabbed my coat, it felt weird against my bare skin but I had to get the hell away. I opened the door. I didn't want to look back. I didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes when she'd realise that I'd let her down. That I'd broken my promise. It would probably take a minute or two, just enough time so she could process what had happened. In less than 120 seconds she'd hate me… and I wasn't going to stay around to watch it happen. So many seconds wasted trying to resist this urge only to give up now.

I just walked without a destination for a while. The wind should have been cold but I couldn't feel a thing. Only my lips were still burning from the kiss but other then that I had gone completely numb. I just had forced myself upon the one I loved the most, broke her heart and abandoned her there. I was truly a monster.

**Reviews are like a kiss from Edward… **

So if I love you a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do

Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Don't deny me this pain I'm going through

Please forgive me

If I need you like I do

Please believe me

Every word I say is true

Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

.


	46. Denial Bella

**I guess everyone realised I'm not able to update frequently anymore. But I will finish this story. So let me explain what's going to happen : I'll update every night this week, each entry representing one day after Edward's confession. Now they will be short but since there will be 5 of them you'll forgive me ;). **

**And they will get longer as the week goes on. Now if you don't want to read bits at a time, come back Friday night : ) Now let's go : **

**Bella**

**Je ne sais pas **

**Day 1**

_Knock, knock,__** knock**__._

"Bella, are you there ? Come on I looked everywhere for you."

Third time today. I'd counted them. Counting was easy, uncomplicated. I knew that. Just as I knew I was Bella. And Bella should answer the door and let Alice in. But Alice wasn't like counting. I knew that.

"Bella you weren't at school and I had a weird voicemail from Edward telling me to look for you. Bella you should have heard his voice... I'm freaked out Bella." She insisted waiting her time and energy.

Edward. Oh my god. At least he hadn't told her anything. I couldn't let Alice in. She would want to know what'd happened. How could I answer her questions? I didn't know anything anymore. I felt like I was living in a weird dimension instead of reality. How else could I explain everything Edward had said to me. He'd always been my rock, my security. I knew him inside and out. He was sweet, he was funny, he was charming, he was too proud, he had a temper, he was caring and thoughtful and a real brat sometimes. But he was never in love.

*He said he loved me but it is simply impossible. Why would he? He can have anyone.* I thought while I peeled myself off the floor and wandered towards my bedroom. I was just his best friend and he'd gotten a little confused. How could I blame him? This was just a big mistake. He didn't love me... He couldn't.


	47. Anger Bella

**Thanks for the reviews I realise there was not much to work with. I hurried to post this part early. Also if I'm unable to post Wednesday night (going to see MUSE yay) I'll post twice Thursday. **

**And they will get longer as the week goes on. Now if you don't want to read bits at a time, come back Friday night : ) **

**Bel****la**

**Je ne sais pas **

**Day 2**

In the morning I waited patiently for him to come and find me, looking at my phone every second to check if he'd wrote me or called. Nothing.

In the afternoon my heart skipped a beat at every sound thinking it was him coming home. Twice Alice came and my hopes got crushed. I finally made myself known and after an eternity she understood I wasn't going to open the door. I decided I couldn't wait any longer. I grabbed my phone and dialled his familiar number. I counted the rings. The first ten I was pretty optimistic. The next 15 I imagined him looking for his phone frantically in his car. I used the next 30 to contemplate the fact he wasn't going to answer... I hung up, a little angry. The last two weeks I'd grown accustomed to his voicemail and now I didn't even have that. It was clear he didn't want to talk. I wondered if he'd just left his phone somewhere or he'd been aware of my attempt to reach him. He loved his phone, it had all his music on it. He would never part with it. I decided two or three more tries couldn't hurt; maybe he'd come to his senses and pick up. After six tries I was simply furious. If he wouldn't even pick up his phone and tell me where he was, how was I supposed to find him and apologize? I was supposed to wait for him all day? What a jerk.

In the evening I realised he wasn't going to come. It hit me while I was sorting his freshly washed clothes. A whole lot were missing. *He's not coming home.* I'd thought that he would have had time to cool down by now and would come back to talk.

I contemplated my epiphany in misery but the scariest of all was that the little voice inside my head kept adding maybe he would never come back home. The incessant knocking started again.

"Leave me alone Alice. I don't want to talk." I was harsher than I intended. It wasn't Alice's fault I was in such a foul mood. I heard her sigh.

"Bella you have to let me in, I'm insanely worried about you." She pleaded.

"No." I pouted. Some part of my brain was aware that I was being a complete brat, and it wasn't even like me. But to see Alice's sad face would only make things more...real and I so didn't want them to be.

"I'll come back tomorrow and then we'll talk." She said commandingly.

"Fine." I sulked like a child. Why couldn't she leave me alone? I didn't know what she'd learned since yesterday. Maybe Edward had talked to her. She wouldn't understand. I knew she secretly hoped Edward and I would end up together. She would think I'm crazy not to want his love. Maybe she'd be mad at me for hurting her brother. She could be very protective of him... just like Edward of me. Where was he? What was he doing? How could he leave me alone after dropping this bombshell on me? *He didn't give me a second to try to make him understand it's just a mistake.* I thought, infuriated by his absence.


	48. Bargaining Bella

**Muse was AMAZING !!!!! **

**Bel****la**

**Je ne sais pas **

**Day 3**

I'd stopped trying to call him. I was now going through our photo albums. At least that way I could see him but at every page my heart was sinking deeper into my chest. Picture after pictures, I began to believe he thought he loved me. We were just so perfectly happy together. Maybe it would be easier if I loved him like that, then things wouldn't be so hard. I came across our prom picture. A thousand girls had begged him but he'd insisted to take me. My right leg was in a cast at the time and I'd tried to convince him I would be no fun. He didn't care.

Near the end of the night, my favourite song from the Coors had stated to play. He'd taken my hand and invited me to dance. I thought he was nuts. It had taken me a good 5 minutes to get to the dance floor and we'd missed the song. I was fine with it but he'd left me for a minute to ask the DJ to play it again anyway. Luckily she was an impressionable young woman. Everyone else was confused. I was delighted. Since then it had been our song. We'd even sung it during a karaoke night in Seattle...

We lived together, were sleeping in the same bed, we had a song. We even lived to make each other happy. Of course it would finally mess with our heads. I sighed and put the album away.

When Alice knocked on the door I groaned. I had to stop being a child and face her. But I was mistaken. It wasn't Alice.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I know for a fact you are in there. I'm not sweet and comprehensive like Alice. You better open that door or I'll knock it down myself and you'll be sorry..." I could almost see her threatening glare. Weirdly this approach seemed to ignite something in me and I no longer wished to hide. I opened my front door for the first time in three days.

As I did it I realised it wasn't about being alone, I just wanted him to be the next one to walk through that door. No luck. I looked at Rose, she was baffled.

"Well I guess I'm just much better than Alice." She joked, too surprised to stay mad. Her smile weakened as she took in my expression. She didn't say a word. She just hugged me. And it felt good to be held. To imagine for a moment it wasn't the end of the world. To believe her silent reassurance that everything would be ok. But it was all just pretences. How could we recover from this if I had to reject him? How would I even find the strength? I began to think I needed to come up with a plan. Why were there no clear rules about his kind of stuff? I didn't want to ask Rose to help tough, I really felt it was a process I had to go through on my own.

After she forced me into the shower and fed me, Alice came.

"I promise not to ask any question." She said bravely from the door, but I could see she was hurt. I'd rejected her and a pang of guilt twisted my stomach. I gave her a long, apologetic look.

"I'm sorry Alice." I whispered, tears in my eyes.

"Oh honey I'm sorry too." She said as she joined Rose and me on the couch. Had she seen Edward? Had she held him like this too? I gulped and worked up the courage to ask.

"Alice, I love having you here, but isn't there someone else who might need your help?" I tried tentatively, still not wanting to talk but dying to know.

"I don't know where he is Bella." She answered sadly. "Nobody does." She added. I was shocked. Even during his worst tantrums Edward wasn't one to just disappear. I swallowed back my tears once more. The realisation that this was my fault was slowly dawning on me. I didn't like to think Edward was all alone. I knew he didn't like to open up, at least not to anyone but me. I glanced at my phone again and then to the picture of us on his nightstand. *Where are you Edward? We'll work it out, just come back to me.* I spoke to him in my mind. We could arrange this, together. If anyone could find a way it was us.


	49. Depression Bella

**Muse was AMAZING !!!!! Bella needs this time to sort things out. We've been in Edward's mind for so long, it's only fair we give Bella her turn. **

**Bella**

**Je ne sais pas **

**Day 4 **

As soon as I regained consciousness I remembered I'd slept in his bed last night. The delicious scent surrounding me was proof of it. I didn't want to get up. *What's the point?* I asked myself. It hurt so much, I felt like a ghost of a person. I was convinced now that our friendship could never be the same as it was. I would spend every waking hour trying to salvage what was left but what if I couldn't? What if I didn't know how to act or what to say? What if I was an entirely different person to him now?

He'd professed his love and I'd just stood there like a fool. How could he forgive me that? I rolled on my back and pushed the covers over my head, thinking back to all those lazy mornings we'd just spent talking. They had been almost constant since he'd moved, except for the last few weeks. He hadn't spent the night at a girl's apartment since so long, I couldn't even remember... I opened my eyes in shock, discovering as I searched my memories that Edward hadn't had a date in ages. How had I not noticed? Was it because of... me? I frowned trying to retrace his last know conquest. It dated back to his depart to Europe. Had it really been that long? Did he think he loved me then? I'd assumed for the last couple of days that it was fairly recent, but what if it wasn't? I was already appalled to imagine it was the reason he'd behave so weirdly since Chicago, I couldn't stand the idea it was preceding that. I let the discouragement I was feeling to the surface. No matter when he'd started to have these...feelings, I hadn't been there for him. I was so caught up in my own drama with Julian that I'd been blind to my best friend's distress. I'd let him down.

Before I could totally wake up Alice and Rose were back at my side, snuggling me. Rose started playing softly with my hair and Alice was just held my hand. They were so patient with me. It wasn't fair that they didn't know what'd happened.

"You should know what all of this is about..." I began but my voice broke and I didn't know if I even could say it out loud. How should I phrase this: Edward told me he loved me, totally putting himself on the spot and I just stood there for ages until I started crying and he'd left? Or maybe: We yelled at each other and I screamed the truth out of him...

I definitely didn't want to tell them about the...physical incident. I took a deep breath, summoning an ounce of courage.

"Don't worry sweetie." Rose soothed me. She looked at Alice and they both sighed. I knew they had trouble adjusting to Edward's and I way to deal with conflict, they were always so up front about it themselves.

"Bella, don't. Besides this isn't such a big secret..." Alice added holding back a sad smile. I raised myself up, surprised. They exchanged a glance and shook their heads and I realised they knew. And just as sure as I was that they knew, I also knew Edward hadn't been the one to tell them.

How blind was I not to have seen it if they had? Typical me: oblivious and inadequate. There was no denying it anymore. For the first time since that morning, I truly believed he loved me. I felt the tears coming and this time I let them. And I cried, I cried for my best friend who was lost and alone, I cried for not knowing what I could do to make things right, I cried for all those days I hadn't cried.

My puffed eyes were soggy and red when I surfaced. I went to take a shower on Rose's orders only to crawl back in Edward's bed all wet. The girls tried to talk to me about school. I didn't want to hear it. I could easily catch up a couple of days of school, what I couldn't do was rejecting the romantic love of the person I loved the most. Why bother getting up at all? I would never be able to live through that anyway. I just had to stay here, in our bed, forever. What a plan...


	50. Acceptance Bella

**Muse was still AMAZING !!!!! So 5 in 5 here we go. **

**Bella**

**Je ne sais pas **

**Day 5**

We were supposed to be leaving today. All of us. Now instead it was just us girls. They were saying it would be good for me. Change of scenery. I just wanted to lie in his scent forever. I had the best and the worst girlfriends in the world. I looked into the parking lot to see if they were here yet. I hadn't packed, hadn't combed my hair and certainly hadn't shaved like Alice had commanded me too. My heart stopped when I spotted something on the windshield of the Volvo. A tiny and white rectangular form was tucked under the right wiper.

I almost tripped as I ran down the stairs but I made it in one piece. I opened the envelope with shaky hands and my breathing stopped altogether.

I could recognize this writing anywhere.

Don't worry about me beautiful. I just need more time.

The card we always used to ask each other favours we couldn't refuse was attached to this note. The BFFF card. It warmed my heart and I smiled for the first time in five days. Even in his state he'd found the way to make me feel better. Then I realised he'd been here, so close to me and yet so far...I looked around, maybe a little foolish to think he might still be around. For all I knew this message had been here for days. But I had the feeling it hadn't.

I ached for him now. How could he be such a tease? I wanted to see him more than anything but I knew he didn't want to be found. Maybe it was just as well. If he'd come back 3 days ago I would have tried to convince him he was just mistaking our friendship for love. I knew now it ran deeper than that. I pondered with the thought for a minute, asking myself exactly how long he'd be gone and I automatically had the answer. I knew he wouldn't miss his brother's wedding. I would see him no matter what a week from now. It still didn't know what to do or what to say but it was comforting to set a date. A week without him still felt like an inconceivable amount of time. However I couldn't trust my judgement. I couldn't think straight, see straight or have a decent conversation. I didn't know anything anymore but that I missed him terribly.

Alice's eyes went wide when she saw I was packed and ready to go. She clearly thought she'd have to drag me all the way there by the arm.

"Oh my god you're ready." She exclaimed, flabbergasted. She dialled a number on he phone.

"Rosalie, it's a miracle. Bella's ready." I heard her explained and Rose cursed. I looked at Alice questioningly.

"I told her she still had an hour to get ready because I was so sure you were still lying on that bed sulking." She admitted sheepishly. I chuckled and she once again looked at me like I was crazy.

"Did something happen while I was gone?" She asked suspiciously. I showed her the note and she gasped. I originally wanted to keep it a secret but Alice was worried about her brother.

"He's okay Alice." I began with a smile. "He's coming home to us soon." I added confidently.

"Do you know what you're going to do?" She asked fishing for information. I didn't want her to get her hopes up so I set the record straight.

"No but it won't be like that Alice." I sighed and she nodded, understanding but disappointed. Rose honked downstairs so we joined her. I sat in the back, knowing I wouldn't chat a lot. I listened though and learned everything that had been going on in my friend's life. I felt guilty for indulging my depression so long. They needed me as much as I needed them. When we arrived at the lodge I was enchanted. Up here on the mountains snow covered the ground everywhere bringing a magical glow to everything. Esme couldn't have chosen a better place to get married. It was all so perfect and romantic it almost made me cry when I looked outside. We checked in at the front desk and the lady explained that we all had individuals cabin along a path surrounding a frozen lake. The girls were ecstatic. I took my room key and played with it, thinking how it would be different if Edward was here and none of this would have happened. But I wasn't going to allow myself those kinds of thoughts anymore. It had happened. I had to deal with it.

I decided to text him. I needed to find some semblance or normalcy again and texting him was so natural.

From BellaS to ECullen :

Thanks for the note, can't wait to see you. You should see how beautiful it is out here.

I put my phone back into my pocket, not expecting an answer so I almost died when it vibrated.

From ECullen to BellaS :

Can't wait either, I miss you.

I wasn't much but it was all I needed. I smiled, convinced that I had found the answer to my problem. This misery and confusion wasn't going to heal itself. I was in the middle of the biggest crisis of my life and I needed my best friend to guide me. No one else could. And even if it was incredibly selfish of me to ask, I knew he would.

**BTW the card was always supposed to come back like this I just realised my story has gotten so much longer than I originally thought maybe you wouldn't remember it. Well I hope some of you did. **


	51. Lost Edward

**I now have a totally awesome beta, ****entre la sombre y el alma****, and I want to thank her for supporting me and helping me write better. She even took on the job of proofreading everything I wrote so far and it's a HUGE commitment. **

**Short chapter, new one to come extremely soon, it's already in the hands of my beta.**

Edward

_**Perdu**_

I was lost. I was caught in this nightmare and I didn't know how to resurface. I'd forced myself on the person I loved the most and hated myself for it. I didn't know how to breathe or how to eat. I didn't know if I could ever smile again. But most of all, I didn't know what to do next.

So I hid. The first night, I even hid from myself, drinking myself numb and passing out on my hotel room. The headache I got when I woke up almost made me forget everything that happened, but not quite. The 20 voicemails from Alice guaranteed that. I entered my password and hoped that my sister's voice would help me come to my senses.

"_Hey Edward, I just saw I missed a call from you. Do you want to grab a bite before school? I'm already there- had an early class. I guess I'll listen to your voicemail now,"_ Alice's vivacious voice said.

Right, I had called her yesterday, right after... I didn't want Bella to be alone. I waited impatiently for the next message to begin.

"_Edward, I'm freaked out. You sounded so weird, is Bella okay? Did something happen? I'm on my way to your place; please call me back." _

She sounded panicked now; I knew my message wasn't the best, but I just couldn't get any more words out.

"_Oh my god, Bella won't even let me in! What did you do, Edward?"_ Alice's both angry and worried voice echoed in my head, cutting through me like a knife.

What did I do? I broke her heart; I was horrible to her, and to top it off left her alone on the kitchen floor. I pressed the next button tentatively, afraid of her next accusation Even though I deserved any harsh rebuke she'd give me.

"_You love her, don't you?"_ she breathed, and I nodded, even though she wasn't here with me, or actually on the line. _"Tell me where you are and we'll work this out, Edward. You can't be alone right now."_

Alice had always had this dream of Bella and I as a couple. In a way, it was comforting to know she was rooting for me. But I'd seen the look on Bella's face as I'd declared myself, and I didn't have any hope anymore.

I needed to find a way to make this disappear, otherwise we would be broken forever. Where to begin? I'd already tried to crush my feelings down, and that didn't work: it only intensified my despair.

I deactivated my voicemail, unable to hear Alice's sweet and comprehending voice anymore.

I sighed and got out of the room, leaving my phone on the bed.

I didn't look at the phone for two days, spending my days hovering around the apartment that I shared with my Bella, and never finding the strength to go in. But on Saturday, I looked, and I felt horrible. She'd tried to reach me so many times; I couldn't believe I'd been so selfish. So, I wrote to her, and placed my short note on the Volvo, knowing she would see it before she left for the hotel. I assumed they were still going today. I resisted the urge to wait around to see if she would come and get it. It would be unfair of me to see her when she couldn't see me.

I went to Carlisle's house. I knew nobody was home, and I left my car a couple of streets away to be sure nobody would find me.

I was too lost to be found; I wouldn't know what to do, or what to say. I felt empty. I swam until my muscles screamed, and it helped conjure the strength to check if Bella was gone.

Before I could change my mind, I was standing in front of our door. She was gone. I cursed myself for being such a coward and not coming while she was there. I paced the apartment, feeling her presence around me. I took a deep breath, allowing the familiar fragrances to envelop me. The whole place smelled of strawberries and freesias. My bed was unmade, and I laid down on it, knowing she'd been sleeping in my bedroom without me. Her scent was even stronger now and I moaned loudly, hiding my faces in the pillows.

My heart stirred. I loved her so much. I couldn't live without her.

I closed my eyes, imagining she was here with me when my phone vibrated. It was a text from Bella, and it brought tears to my eyes. I didn't think twice this time before writing back. I'd find a way to make it right for her. I had to.

**Poor Edward, I promise the next one will hold more development.**


	52. Everything Bella

**So, big work here, I hope you like it, thanks to my beta that had to do this one twice because I sent her the wrong version at first (Fire bad, tree pretty). I know my updates have been few and far between, and I'm sorry. I vowed to myself that my next story will not have a chapter under 2000 words. But this one is coming to an end soon, and I admit myself that it will be time to wrap it up soon. **

**Still, expect at least 4-5 more. **

**Bella**

_**Âme soeur**_

The first day of vacation alone with the girls, it snowed. We had snow sometimes in Forks, but never like this. Soon the ground was covered, and it didn't stop for three days. No one could go in or out and Alice was freaked. After yelling at the policemen who were guarding the road a couple of times, she finally accepted that there was nothing she could do.

On Wednesday morning, they reopened the roads at last. It took about half a day for the hotel crew to clear it from the paths, but it wasn't all bad, because now we were living in an even more incredible winter wonderland.

On the morning of the fifth day, I wandered a little in the vibrant white forest surrounding the hotel. I wished Edward was with me: he'd make me do snow angels with him.

As I walked, I noticed that on the other side of the lake there was one cabin that stood alone. Alice had rambled for days about which guests were staying in which cabin, so I was a little curious as to why she hadn't told me who had reserved this one. I went to the front desk and asked if the cabin was occupied, a weird felling creeping in my chest, and the hostess informed me that a guest who would be arriving for the wedding at the last minute had reserved it. Edward. So he didn't plan on arriving sooner. I contemplated this development with a sigh. At least he was planning on staying the night. *Don't be silly; he has to stay. Esme wants to get married at sunset, and we're so secluded up here...* I thought, and it saddened me that if he had a choice he might have decided to leave right away. I wanted him to stop running from me. No, I **needed** him to stop running. His absence was getting me more depressed every day, and I just wasn't strong enough to be apart from him. We hadn't written to each other all week since the cell phone service was unavailable because of the storm, and I hoped he knew I wasn't ignoring him on purpose.

I'd eaten about half my hand worrying about things. The girls and I had talked every night for hours about everything except the situation with my best friend. I realized before leaving my apartment that, as my best friend, Edward was the only one who could guide me through this. It only seemed fair I should wait to discuss my feelings with him first; the wait was simply killing me.

I spent the whole day helping Alice with the last minute preparations for the rehearsal dinner, which was set to take place in two days. I did my best to compliment Alice on her amazing planning, but all I could think about was that Edward would be here by then. We would either have found a way to work through our... problem, or... I refused to think of an "or." I was so absorbed in my thoughts that hours passed by without my notice.

I wasn't really in these realms of reality yet. I kept imagining Edward's arrival in various ways. In some scenarios, he was sad or angry, in others he acted as if nothing happened. But in all of them, I was always so relieved and happy to see him it made my heart long for that moment.

When Rose knocked on my door, I jumped, startled. She sighed when she realized I wasn't ready at all for our dinner celebration of Esme and Carlisle's arrival. She forced me into a fancy dress and did my hair for me, giving me annoyed or worried glances during the process.

I followed her to the main building and greeted the soon-to-be husband and wife, happy to see them, but at the same time wishing they were someone else. I felt horrible for thinking that, but I couldn't help it. I stayed quiet while we ate. Esme was amazed by how smooth everything was going. Alice was glowing. The beautiful white roses had arrived earlier, and they were everywhere: on the banister of the staircase, all around the bay windows, and even outside on the railings, going from one cabin to another. It was really beautiful.

After dessert, I was pretty exhausted. I checked the clock. It was 9:30. I could reasonably call it a night at this point without Rose narrowing her eyes at me.

I said goodnight to everyone, still lost in the omnipresent haze I had so much trouble to snap out of. I needed rest. I hadn't slept much since last week. They all glanced at each other knowingly, but didn't force me to stay. I hadn't been the life of the party lately, to say the least.

As of tonight, I was cruelly alone in my cabin. Alice was switching cabins to stay with Esme until the wedding because they wanted to talk about the last minutes details day and night. Emmett would be arriving in a matter of minutes. Rose was excited to see him after the week she'd spent taking care of me, and I'd insisted she spend the night with him. I wasn't decent company anyways. The downside of this was that when I was alone, my mind wandered dangerously.

I put on my fancy boots, which was a hard task. They were so uncomfortable that I never kept them on when I was inside. Alice had insisted that since every path was dry and made of fancy wood, I had no reason to fall, so she'd given me high-heeled boots. What a pain.

However, I was distracted from my task when I saw two girls from the flower company gossiping and peeking outside.

"A Vanquish. Oh my, did you see that car?" one girl said.

Time stood still. My breath was caught in my throat. My heart stopped. Several seconds passed, giving my brain the time to comprehend. He was here.

He was early.

My heart missed a beat before racing at an unbelievable pace. I felt faint. I cursed at the stupid high-heel boots I was still trying to put on.

Edward was here and it was the best and the worse news. I'd been anticipating his arrival all week, but now that he was here, I felt nauseous. What if he didn't want to see me? What if he was mad? What if he expected me to return his feelings?

I ran away like a coward, going towards the side of the hotel leading to my cabin. I needed air. I needed time. I almost tripped half a dozen times, but made it outside and then to the porch of my cabin relatively unscathed. I froze as I realized that he might be able to see me from his cabin or the hotel, wherever he was. I hid behind the back wall. I should have gone inside, but I wanted to catch even just a glimpse of him. I waited for my heartbeat to calm down before I looked, but before I could find the courage, I heard footsteps on the front porch where I had been just a moment ago. I risked a glance around the corner of the wall. Oh my god. He was really here, standing at my cabin door.

I could only see his back, but he looked... different. Had he always been that tall? Had his copper hair always had that glow? He had new clothes on and seemed a little older somehow. *Stop being silly; you've saw him last week,* I chastised myself. But I'd never felt further away from him even though he was so close.

He hadn't seen me yet. He mumbled unintelligibly under his breath as he raised his hand to knock on the door but he stopped his hand before it reached the door and ran it through his unruly hair. He sighed. He turned around as if he was leaving, allowing me to see his face. I gasped out loud. He was so handsome- flawless. I'd forgotten how good he looked. He must have heard me make a sound, because his eyes searched the darkness and landed on me. His expression, which was shocked at first, softened when he recognized me.

I stepped out of the shadow of the wall sheepishly, blushing deep red.

"Hello," I said, resisting the urge to run into his arms.

"Bella..."

I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling that accompanied hearing his voice as he said my name.

We looked at each other for the longest time. I missed him so much, but I was so afraid to do or say something that would give him false hope. He saw right through me.

"Bells, what I said to you that day..." he began and I felt the tears coming. How could I reject him a second time? I waited for him to confess his love again, but then his demeanor change just a bit.

"Dance with me?" he asked.

I nodded. He offered me his hand and I took it. It felt so familiar in mine.

He made me twirl gently and we began dancing slowly to the silence of the night.

_Come to me now_

_And lay your hands over me_

_Even if it's a lie_

_Say it will be all right_

_And I shall believe_

_I'm broken in two_

_And I know you're on to me_

_That I only come home_

_When I'm so all alone_

_But I do believe_

_That not everything is gonna be the way_

_You think it ought to be_

_It seems like every time I try to make it right_

_It all comes down on me_

_Please say honestly you won't give up on me_

_And I shall believe_

_And I shall believe_

_Open the door_

_And show me your face tonight_

_I know it's true_

_No one heals me like you_

_And you hold the key_

After a while, I allowed myself to hug him. I was elated when his arms closed around me. I felt like I was finally back home where I belonged. His body was so warm against my own. I noticed how cold the night was for the first time. God, I'd missed his touch.

I let my head rest on his chest for a second.

He came abruptly to a halt. "About that morning... I was a total jerk, and I shouldn't have... kissed you. I have regretted it every second we've been apart. Please forgive me."

Time stood still again. I repeated his words a couple of times in my head. He regretted it. I waited for relief to invade me, but nothing came... Since we'd kissed, I hadn't been myself, and so far, I couldn't put my finger on why. *We kissed,* I repeated in my mind, forcing myself to acknowledge it.

I had forbidden myself to even mention it in my head before; had hid it from the girls because I was so desperate not to think about it, but now that I did, I remembered it so clearly: the way his hands had felt against my belly, the way his lips had crashed on mine so passionately, the way his tongue had felt against my own... The warmth in my stomach grew until it swallowed me whole. My heartbeat was erratic to the point of making me shudder. I'd been so afraid to think about that kiss because I'd liked it... That revelation shifted reality. I was a coward for not admitting it sooner. *Oh my God.* I felt a tear running down my cheek. This was all such a waste.

I loved him too.

I felt crippled by fear. I didn't want to feel this way, but most of all I didn't want him to regret our first and only kiss. But he did. My heart ached and my stomach turned at the thought. He regretted it; maybe he didn't want me anymore.

He sensed my distress, like always. "What's going on?" he asked.

I dismissed his question, shaking my head. "It's nothing." I looked into his eyes for a second and he saw nothing was okay anymore. I pulled slightly away from him, but his hold only tightened around me.

"Bella," he began, trying to hold me in place. I panicked. He could read me like an open book and he would see it– the truth I was so scared to express. I squirmed under his hold, trying to break free. I failed. The more I tried to avoid his touch, the tighter he held me, the more my head spun. He used one of his hands to raise my face gently so that that he could meet my gaze, but I stared obstinately at the floor.

"Bells, look at me." His velvet voice was compelling me to bend to his wish, and I obeyed him, ashamed of being so weak. He looked directly into my eyes for what seemed like ages. I could see a storm of feelings raging in his eyes. After a minute, his expression was so open, and vulnerable, I stopped breathing again.

He groaned out loud, and in an instant, his lips were on mine, erasing all semblance of doubt. He was my best friend, and I loved him with all my heart.

He was more tentative this time, asking instead of taking. I answered his unspoken question, kissing him back fervently. I ran my tongue against his lower lips slowly, making him moan as we deepened the kiss. He grabbed me by the hips and pushed me against the door, not unlike the last time, and my blinding need for his touch engulfed everything else. It felt so right, so natural, like every touch we'd exchanged throughout the years. But it was also better, more passionate. I gave in completely to this craving eating me alive. It was the sweetest feeling, not to deny it anymore, and a burden I didn't know I was holding lifted from my heart.

Eventually, I had to stop to breathe. I was panting in his arms, confused and almost...annoyed

"You just said you regretted doing that in the first place," I said, punching him in the stomach. He fell down on his knees. My heart ached.

"Oh my god, Edward I didn't want to hurt –"

As I apologized, he started shaking his head and a crooked grin appeared on his lips. He stood back up, his eyes boring deep into mine meaningfully as he spoke. "You fall for it every time." The double meaning of his words wasn't lost on me, and I blushed. Of course he had only said he regretted it because he thought that was what I wanted to hear. He always put me first. He was so amazing and kind and...

"I was so lost without you," I breathed in his ear, my voice breaking in the end. I felt like crying and laughing all at once. It was all so clear now; I'd loved him all my life. I'd just missed the moment it'd turned into more, oblivious to my own feelings as I was of his.

He was my life, my everything.

"God, I missed you so much," his shaky voice was so rich, I thought I'd melt into his arms. I looked deep into his eyes again, the joy I felt reflecting in his eyes.

When I shivered, more from the excitement than the cold, he guided me towards the door, never breaking our embrace. We went in quickly, and not a second after I closed the door, he brought his lips to mine again. We kissed for our friendship that was evolving into something different and exciting. We kissed because now we knew that everything would be okay. We kissed for all those times we hadn't kissed.

It was everything I didn't know I wanted.

It was perfect.

**The song is "I shall believe" by Sheryl Crow. I you liked it, leave me a review.**


	53. His Girl, Cullen's girl outtakes

**A/N : **_**His girl**_** is now online, it contains every outtakes from Cullen's girl that are rated M. Link through my profile. **

**For those who want to stick to the T version, here's the general idea :**

Edward

His girl

I summoned all the courage I could muster. I needed to make her world right again, but didn't know where to begin. I wasn't going to pretend I didn't love her, but I needed to say something to soothe her pain.

"About that morning... I was a total jerk, and I shouldn't have... kissed you. I have regretted it every second we've been apart. Please forgive me." There, it was as close from the truth as I could get without lying directly to her face. I did regret forcing myself on her, even if the selfish part of myself had loved every second of it.

A lone tear ran down her cheek, making my heart stop. Why was she sad? Didn't she want things to go back to how they were? Was it so obvious that I would fail at being her friend? My heart ached when I saw that I had hurt her, but how had I done it? I'd seen in her eyes not a minute ago that she was preparing herself to reject me again.

"What's going on?" I asked, my heart falling in my chest, preparing for the worse. Maybe she couldn't forgive me.

"It's nothing," she whispered, and her eyes met mine briefly. What?

"Bella." I tightened my hold on her to catch a glimpse of her eyes again. They never lied. I had seen something in them a second ago, something I dared not to hope for. She fought against me, fuelling my need to make her look at me. Her resolve was no match for mine. Frustrated, I raised her face gently to mine, but she still denied me her eyes.

"Bells, look at me."

She sighed, but gave up the fight and her gaze met mine. She was ashamed. *Of what?* I asked myself. She was hurt, and scared, and totally freaked out. I was practically losing my mind, trying to solve the mystery of her reaction, when she whimpered and bit her bottom lip, her gaze falling almost imperceptibly on my lips for a fleeting moment, but I saw it. My heart started racing in my chest as the impossible truth entered my mind.

She didn't want me to regret it. My heart stopped. What did that mean? Did she want it to happen again? Did she want something more? Something I was so willing to give her? I drove myself crazy with those questions, never finding a clear answer, but my love for her was so blinding that I decided to take the leap again. Damn the consequences.


	54. Looking for trouble Alice

**Here is somewhat of a conclusion/continuing of the last chapters, I know I suck at updating, but I'm unsure if I'll continue after this, truth is my muse isn't with this story anymore, but I want to thank everyone that was along for the ride, I love all the reviews you wrote, and thanks again for taking the time to read me. xxx**

Alice

_**Démasqués**_

I was trying on my complete bridesmaid outfit, I had just finished putting on the amazing four-inch high heeled shoes when Jasper came in.

"Knock, knock," he said, his voice as charming and loving as ever.

I smiled at him. "How come you're here?"

"Esme told me to check if you needed help. You know, I think she may be onto us," he declared with a sheepish grin and I couldn't stop myself from mirroring his expression. He kissed me passionately. I was so in love with him. We were just meant to be; it was as simple as that.

Esme knew, I was sure of it, and most importantly, approved. It was the most reassuring sign. If Esme approved, Carlisle would just trust her judgment. In fact, he would approve of me dating a frog if Esme was okay with it. My happy glow dimmed a little when I remembered that we still had Edward to worry about.

"Thinking about Edward?" he asked, reading my mind, his smile faltering a little.

"Yeah, in his current state of mind, he would shoot first, and ask questions later, if you know what I mean," I grumbled, unable to hide that keeping the secret bothered me now. Today, every couple I knew would be sharing a waltz and kissing under the pretty lights I had designed, but not me, thanks to my dear psycho-over-protective brother.

I chastised myself. He was going through a rough time and it wasn't a good idea to add to his grief today, his reunion with Bella was enough for one day.

"I just hope Bella won't break his heart again. Poor Bella, she's so clearly in love with him, I can't believe she doesn't see it," I whined while Jasper reassuringly rubbed my back.

"I suppose if something went wrong you would know by now."

"What do you mean?" I frowned. Why was he using past tense?

"Well, Edward arrived last night, so−"

"He's back? Oh my god! Why didn't you tell me?" I screamed, punching him in the stomach.

"What's wrong?" He asked as I opened the door and threw my coat on.

"Bella." I didn't have time to explain, I needed to check on Bella. To say she hadn't been in a good place since Edward's revelation would be the understatement of the year. I secretly hoped she had realised her love for him ran as deep, but my friend, whom I loved dearly, was too clueless for her own good. My heart sank at the thought that they might have torn each other apart again last night. *Stupid me, so wrapped up in the wedding I didn't see his freaking car,* I cursed myself.

I heard Jasper's footsteps following me in the snow. A good three inches had fallen again last night. Even if this fresh snow would give an amazing glow to the setting of the wedding, it was a pain to run through it in heels. In a totally Bella-like manner, I almost tripped ten times before reaching her porch.

"Damn, this must be how Bella feels in heels on a flat surface. I'll have to remember that the next time I want to put her in heels."

I started knocking like a maniac on her door. No answer. I checked my phone again but, of course, no service. I sighed. I would need to go all the way across the entire estate to knock on Edward's door; and let's face it, I would have to do it in a different pair of shoes. Otherwise, the ones I was wearing would only be good for the trash and certainly not up to walk down the aisle later today.

Jasper came behind me and encircled my waist. I stiffened instantly, even if my instincts were telling me to melt under his strong embrace. We were usually much more careful than this.

"Someone could see us," I breathed, but he kissed me sweetly on the lips anyway.

"Hey, none of that. I could be a certain brother, a very pissed off one with an inclination for homicide. I may find you annoying sometimes Jazz, but I have no desire to bury my brother here tonight." Rose's voice startled us, and we broke apart.

"You would bury me?" Jazz asked, half amused, half worried.

"Well, technically, Edward's one of my best friends and I wouldn't want him to go to jail," Rose added, a smart-ass grin on her face. She was soon standing on the porch with us.

"So, no answer, huh?" she asked and we shook our heads.

"Well that's either a really good sign, or an incredibly bad one. I'll go check at Edward's. you go change and we meet in the hotel lobby in ten," she commanded, starting to make her way towards the other end of the lake.

Jasper and I looked at each other and exchanged a quick kiss.

"I think I'll use a square-point shovel, it's great for snow. Or maybe a garden spade. You could have a really straight grave." Rose mused loudly, not turning back, but making sure to send us on our way. I swear I saw goose bumps on Jasper's arm and giggled.

"It won't be funny when you have to help her carry my body," he mumbled resentfully and I cracked up even more.

I sobered up when I remembered what we were supposed to be doing : finding our friends before real danger was done.

"Let's hurry."


	55. Busted Edward

Edward

_**Démasqués**_

I rolled on my back, bringing Bella with me and placing a quick kiss on her lips. We hadn't gotten a lot of sleep and yet I'd never felt more awake, or alive, for that matter. Her skin was as soft as silk against mine and only the urging matter of my brother's wedding prevented me from claiming her again.

"We should go see the others. Alice and Rose must be worried sick," Bella whispered. I put my hand behind her ear and pulled her in for a long, heated kiss. God, I would never get bored of doing that. Just kissing her over and over again, until our lips were raw, it was truly paradise on earth.

"Love, we're never leaving this room," I mouthed against her collarbone. She shivered, but not from the cold.

Our bodies were a perfect fit, responding to one another in a way that was very distracting, and I felt like making love to her again instead of getting dressed. She dissolved under my touch and I wallowed in the richness of her creamy skin.

I actually contemplated missing my brother's wedding, but at half past twelve Bella urged me out of the bed.

"Come on, Edward, Alice will freak if we're late." She grabbed my hands and forced me out the door even before I could arrange my tie.

Once outside, I felt her shiver underneath her coat, and I put my arms around her. Placing kisses on her neck again, I led her out of view. We'd agreed to tell Alice about us just after the wedding, to help her keep her cool. Anyway, I was the best man so I would be with Carlisle all day until the actual vows.

"Wow, leaving you, even for just a second, seems like torture." I whispered in her ear, and the moan that escaped her lips almost made me mad. "God, Bells, you have to stop doing that if I am to leave your side at all today."

"What if I don't want you to leave my side at all? She whispered seductively and I pulled her in for another long, perfect kiss.

We were interrupted by Alice's voice. She was cursing out loud, we both glances over the corner of the cabin to look at what she was doing. We watched, amused, as Alice almost tripped the whole way over to our porch. Bella's expression seemed to indicate she was more than enjoying seeing Alice battle like this with a pair of shoes.

"Damn, this must be how Bella feels in heels on a flat surface. I'll have to remember that the next time I want to put her in heels," Alice said, making Bella giggle. I put my hand over her mouth, wanting to see what Jasper, who was coming after her, had to say. She knocked on our door, and after a second came back into view.

"Maybe we should tell her right now, she seems really worried," Bells offered excitedly and I nodded. I took her hand in mine and she flashed me the most enchanting smile. We were so happy. I was about to step out of our hideout when I stopped dead in my track. Jasper had just put his arms around my little sister. I was totally outraged when he leaned in to kiss her. Bella tugged on my shirt, begging me not to move. I looked at her questioningly, but she was as shocked as I was.

"Someone could see us," Alice said, and I thought that indeed, someone had seen them.

Jasper Hale could be grateful this was the happiest day of my life, because at that moment, only Bella's lips placing butterfly kisses on my neck prevented me from killing him.

"Hey, none of that. I could be a certain brother, a very pissed off one with an inclination for homicide. I may find you annoying sometimes Jazz, but I have no desire to bury my brother here tonight." Rose's voice echoed around the lake, freezing us in our spot, our mouths agape. From what she said, it sounded like she had already known about Alice and Jasper before seeing their embrace and kiss. That meant that the relationship between Alice and Jasper wasn't something that had just happened recently. I turned to Bella, my eyes wide, asking a silent question. Did she know too? She shook her head, meaning to tell me she had no idea. The shock mixed with hurt I could see written on her face was proof of that.

"You would bury me?"

"Well, technically, Edward's one of my best friends, and I wouldn't want him to go to jail."

We couldn't help but grin at Rose's feisty remark, but Bella's face sobered quickly. She was afraid I would go crazy on them and she was hurt. I tried to sooth her, running my hands slowly up and down her arm.

We heard Rose's plan to go looking for us in my cabin and decided to stay hidden until Jasper and Alice were back inside the hotel.

"I can believe they didn't tell me," she whispered, the disbelief still painted across her face.

"God, Jasper and my sister, my sister and Jasper." No, my fucking teenage sister and my older friend Jasper, I thought. "I'll kill him," I said seriously, but my anger faltered when Bella placed a soothing kiss on my lips. It was still so new, so incredible to be able to touch her like this, and yet it felt like it had always been this way.

"They love each other," she stated with a radiant smile, and I knew it was true. I guess we would have seen the signs if we hadn't been so wrapped up in our own stuff.

"Still," I said begrudgingly. I guess I could understand how love could affect a guy, especially today. I groaned at the sensation of Bella's tongue meeting mine, and for five minutes, all thoughts concerning Jasper or my sister were forgotten. I was pressing Bella up against the wall. We both sighed in contentment when I released her.

"Well, we only have one choice. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked her in a conniving tone.

"We'll mess with them until they've suffered enough." The evil glint in her eyes made me love her even more.

"That's my girl," I growled, kissing her fiercely.


End file.
